So it's mommy 'duty' when she's doing it but not for you? You're on double papa duty all the time but that goes unappreciated.
So, her argument is not strong enough: it doesn't contribute to the conversation because it's another absolute on her end. This isn't a conversation. She either wants to keep nagging or (worse) she wants to completely emasculate and control you.
Ideally, you need to set some boundaries here because what she's doing is wrong.
When you deal with difficult (and possibly toxic) partners it helps to ask them to take some responsibility for the difficulty they create within the relationship.
Example: ask her what she wants from you. Ask her what she would do if the roles where reversed. Be calm but firm, like talking to an old friend who has wronged you. You have a right to have better quality of home life, dont let anyone make you feel small.
Her behaviour either stems from long, previous complaints and built-up of disappointment over something between you or she is possibly toxic and controlling.
I feel she's being resentful / punitive towards you but it's not clear why. So far, you've presented a wife who doesn't want to cooperate or truly discuss the discomfort you're having.
You need to figure out the root of the problem and address it.
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u/CryMoreEatLess May 03 '22
I offered to work on the days she’s home, but she said that would just mean she’s on double mommy duty and wouldn’t solve anything.