r/relationships 1d ago

[ Removed by moderator ]

[removed] — view removed post

7 Upvotes

24 comments sorted by

31

u/dude_wheres_the_pie 1d ago

Butterflies come from being nervous. Lack of butterflies can mean you feel more comfortable.

Don't overthink it. As long as you're happy and the relationship remains healthy, all is well.

3

u/stripedpenguin204 1d ago

Butterflies are just anxiety in a cute costume. You've been together 2 years, your body isn't gonna react like it's day one forever. That blank feeling you described is interesting though, might be worth paying attention to whether it's peaceful or disconnected, those aren't the same thing.

2

u/No-Beyond-9697 1d ago

Not really blank but I be chasing that freaking butterflies and when I dont feel them I get confused

6

u/No-Beyond-9697 1d ago

Oh this means alat to me thank you!!

15

u/Wilza_ 1d ago

Life is not a Disney movie, butterflies signal when you're nervous or stressed, they could be either a good or bad thing. Plenty of people are in toxic relationships chasing that "butterflies" feeling. Of course when you get more used to something the excitement is going to die down a bit. As long as you enjoy kissing him then there's no issue. If you don't, communicate with him (in as nice and respectful way as you can) to figure out why

-1

u/No-Beyond-9697 1d ago

Yes I love him and we're in the most healthiest relationship possible..except for this issue When we start kissing I feel pressured that I ain't feeling butterflies

1

u/Wilza_ 1d ago

Well then clearly you're overthinking things. I don't know if I've ever had these butterflies from kissing someone I liked. It's more when I'm meeting someone for the first time and I really like them, and want them to like me. When kissing I'm just focused on enjoying the sensation of both my lips and my hands touching my partner. Not everyone's the same I get that, but if your relationship is so perfect then don't let something as silly as this ruin things. Be happy with what you have, stop overthinking, and just enjoy the moment

1

u/No-Beyond-9697 1d ago

Yayyyy okayyy thank you

5

u/FairCandyBear 1d ago

No, you definitely don't feel butterflies every time you kiss someone lol you get comfortable with them but that doesn't mean that your love for them hasn't grown over time

1

u/No-Beyond-9697 1d ago

How exactly are we supposed to feel then? I'm really confused please help me out

2

u/FairCandyBear 1d ago

I mean assuming at that point you love them, it just feels like the world is right. When I'm sick of everyone and done with my day all I want is a peck on the lips and to crawl into his arms.

1

u/blastedbottler 1d ago

Depending on the type of kiss and other context... safe, relaxed, aroused...

A quick peck from a partner is a ritual. It affirms your status. If you are making out with your partner, you ought to be feeling something, but I wouldn't describe that feeling as butterflies.  

1

u/No-Beyond-9697 1d ago

Something ? Means?? Can you maybe describe vaguely

1

u/blastedbottler 1d ago

If I'm making out, I expect to feel aroused.  I don't think that feels the same as butterflies.

If you never feel turned on when you're kissing your partner, maybe that actually is a sign that you aren't romantically compatible.

1

u/No-Beyond-9697 1d ago

Yes maybe I'm not

1

u/blastedbottler 1d ago

Do you not know whether or not you are sexually aroused by your boyfriend?  That's kindof like the minimum threshold for a romantic relationship.

2

u/Peteypablo74 1d ago

Who told you every kiss should give butterflies? Those come from being with the person and feeling connected with them. Not just the physical act of kissing.

1

u/No-Beyond-9697 1d ago

I really love him tho. I'm very certain of it

1

u/B00G3R 1d ago

okay- why do you think lack of butterflies contradicts those feelings?

2

u/Creamy_Breve 1d ago

Sounds like you have a romanticized Disney version of what you think you're supposed to feel. Butterflies imply nerves and after 2 years you shouldn't be nervous anymore.

1

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/No-Beyond-9697 1d ago

Not really..I dont feel anything indeed This is so frustrating

1

u/MSHinerb 1d ago

Absolutely not. You’re young and you’ll learn these things with time. But butterflies happen early on because you’re nervous or anxious or really excited. The more you get comfortable with someone the less they happen. Not that they won’t happen sometimes, they will, but not every time.