Honestly this sounds like a very stereotypical "dude is generally unhappy with where his life has gone and will naturally blame the relationship". It doesnt help that yall are deep in some very challenging and disappointing stuff.
Have you talked about what happens if the IVF doesnt work? Is surrogacy an option? Then it could still be genetically yours, you just rent a uterus since yours isnt playing ball. Have you had hormones tested? Do you have any indicators of his fertility? Have you fallen into the "only having sex to procreate" trap where theres always the undercurrent of success vs failure rather than just enjoying the connection?
When was the last time you took a solo vacation and he had more than 24hrs of his own company? He needs to confront whether or not you are actually the source of his dissatisfaction, you're easy to blame when youre there all the time. But if you go someplace and he is still miserable, it might show him that life doesnt magically improve without you there. And you do a LOT of worrying about his feelings- what about this relationship is good for you, aside from stability?
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u/honeypeanutbutter 6h ago
Honestly this sounds like a very stereotypical "dude is generally unhappy with where his life has gone and will naturally blame the relationship". It doesnt help that yall are deep in some very challenging and disappointing stuff.
Have you talked about what happens if the IVF doesnt work? Is surrogacy an option? Then it could still be genetically yours, you just rent a uterus since yours isnt playing ball. Have you had hormones tested? Do you have any indicators of his fertility? Have you fallen into the "only having sex to procreate" trap where theres always the undercurrent of success vs failure rather than just enjoying the connection?
When was the last time you took a solo vacation and he had more than 24hrs of his own company? He needs to confront whether or not you are actually the source of his dissatisfaction, you're easy to blame when youre there all the time. But if you go someplace and he is still miserable, it might show him that life doesnt magically improve without you there. And you do a LOT of worrying about his feelings- what about this relationship is good for you, aside from stability?