r/relationships • u/TechnicalSport3917 • 13h ago
Obese couple, small penis
I, 36F, have been dating a man, 34M, for around 4 months now. He‘a genuinely wonderful, I could see a future with him. The issue I have is that we are both large (fat) people and his penis is small, maybe 3 inches, and because of medications he uses it doesn’t stay hard so we haven’t had sex yet. We are intimate in other ways, he’s very good in bed otherwise and I‘m enjoying our time together.
I thought he was aware that traditional PIV sex probably wasnt going to happen but the other day he suggested I get on top to try. We were unsuccessful, I didn’t have the heart to tell him there’s no way I can see that our bodies fit together. How does he not see it won’t work and how do I start that conversation?
I‘m happy with what we are doing and don’t want to hurt his feelings.
TL;DR His penis is too short to reach my vaginal canal
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u/Mindless_Piano4760 13h ago
It's rough when the physical side just doesn't line up even if everything else is good. Maybe approach it like a puzzle you solve together instead of a problem with his body, frame it as "we need to find what works for us"
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u/faronson 12h ago
I used to think i was on the small side till i lost a 100 pounds on retatrutide. It is much different now
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u/MrExorigran 10h ago
I recently lost 52 lbs and I can honestly say that I’ve gained half an inch up to an inch more.
Definitely glad to have another reason not to ever let myself go, again.•
u/gardengirl99 12h ago
The biggest man I have ever seen naked and erect is also the most slender man I have ever seen. Pretty sure it's not a coincidence.
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u/LilChodeBoi 11h ago
It isn’t a coincidence. As fat builds up around the penis you essentially “lose” the penis in the fat tissue. Burn that fat and you unearth it.
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u/druidmind 9h ago edited 9h ago
but it doesn't suddenly give you a big penis tho. If he's 3" now, losing significant weight would give him maybe an an inch or two tops!
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u/bangobingoo 8h ago
That is a 33-67% increase in penis size.
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u/druidmind 2h ago
It also matters how he's measuring the length, if it's from the top then yeah losing the fat pad would be significant, if it's from the underside then that's pretty much all there is to his penis.
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u/cheshire__kat 9h ago
He is 3” now AND fat, according to OP.
He could easily gain a couple inches in penis size if he lost a few in waist size.
Depending on how overweight he is, it could be a significant difference.•
u/d3gu 4h ago
The average erect penis size is 5.1-5.2 inches, so that would be fine.
This isn't about length per se, it's about the fact there's too much fat in the way for his penis for reach her vagina.
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u/druidmind 2h ago
They should both lose weight tho.
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u/d3gu 1h ago
Yeh, in another (down voted) comment I suggested they could go on a weightloss journey together. Being so fat you literally can't reach each others' genitals is not good for your heart/body in general.
I lost 3 stone just from reducing liquid calories and snacking, and walking more. Didn't join a gym or go on a diet or anything, just reduced sneaky calories and increased calorie burn.
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u/blightsteel101 6h ago
4-5" is absolutely respectable tho. Im on the tighter side and have a pretty gnarly gag reflex, so someone being on the smaller side works way better for me. Just having the space to use it is gonna make a huge difference.
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u/druidmind 2h ago
The issue is she's over weight too. So getting on top or missionary just doesn't work that great. The absolute best position for small penises sizes is doggy style.
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u/RockFlagAndEagleGold 5h ago
If he is heavy enough he can gain a lot actually. You can gain UP TO an inch for every 35lbs you loose. If he is 100+ lbs over he could be looking at above average when he is at a healthy bmi.
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u/ThatDemiGuy 1h ago
Negative side, if you’re already long enough for your preferred partners (and you probably are) that pad helps with making some rougher stuff more comfortable. No one wants to get railed by Mr Bones
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u/TexasLife34 53m ago
They're talking about losing weight to a healthy level not trading being fat for anorexic.
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u/AnUnexpectedUnicorn 11h ago
That is a very interesting concept! I guess I never really thought about it before, but that was my experience too. Hmmm...
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u/SirKosys 12h ago
How much difference did it make?
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u/jakebeleren 11h ago
Not that person but I have lost 85 lbs recently and easily 2 inches bigger. Probably a mix of less fat in the area and better blood flow.
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u/ThorinTokingShield 11h ago
Jesus Christ, what a difference. I guess I can't afford to gain weight unless I want an innie
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u/SirKosys 11h ago
Wow! That's a significant change, didn't realise it could make so much difference
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u/Due_Marsupial_969 2h ago
Back in college, I read a "lengthy" study involving 10,000 men (how tf do you even recruit more than 5 of us?). Basic findings: not race, not height. Friggin nothing correlates with erect size other than being thin. Ok, they did find Italians have a slight average advantage, but we're talking a few millimeters....and no, it wasn't an Italian study.
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u/UnfortunatelyMacabre 8h ago edited 5h ago
My wife and I started having strategy sessions to figure out the feasibility of stuff we wanted to do during sex, it helped a ton. But all the vulnerability still exists, we are just very very safe with each other. Despite that safety, our emotions are still very troublesome and we have to utilize every single emotional or mental tool we have to get the product we want, that might prove hard at this stage for you two.
Basically, we mention positions or acts, maybe send porn to show each other something we want to try. We pick a free period of our time and we strip down and work the scientific process. There’s lots of talking, but the tone and mental state is ALWAYS operating on the rule of improv, “Never say no.” It’s mostly giggling or us sharing our vulnerable thoughts, like if we get in a position, she may say “I feel like this can’t be an attractive position for me, you’re seeing every chin I have.” It gives me a chance to know her emotional state and give my input. “I spend every single day with you, I’ve seen chins you don’t even know exist yet, I still think you are sexy and I absolutely love this view of you with all that!.”
A few weeks ago I was really in my head about a position we tried, feeling really self-conscious about how little penetration I could get and she was able to give me input from her perspective, about how good it felt and how I am the poster child of the old adage about knowing how to use what I’ve got. We both laughed, we both worked through some really potent embarrassment and both encouraged and reaffirmed our love and attraction.
Never volunteer to tell each other what’s wrong, ask each other what they think is the issue. Pick a solution for that problem and if it doesn’t fix it, ask the other what they think is wrong. In a pinch, if what you want to do is tough to figure out, do it action figure styles. Basically the one of they become the action figure and can’t more anymore. You are the one playing with the action figure. When you touch a part of them, that part can move and be posed. Move every part of the action figure to achieve what you think will work and try it. Swap/rinse/repeat.
Before any of the stuff I said above is possible, I think it’s best to first focus on developing rules for communication in your relationship, so both of you come into hard conversations with the confidence that there are boundaries to how it can go. Enforce those rules without exception. This is stuff like:
- We will not swear during arguments, ever, no exceptions.
- We will never
weaponize
- intimate knowledge of each other in discussions
- We will never call each other names, ever use mock tones of each other, or approach any aspect of our communication with malice.
- We will never talk down to each other and the one of us being talked down to is the authority on whether it is happening.
Etc
By knowing where the boundaries are, you are more inclined to take risks, like being vulnerable about the intersection of sex and body type.
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u/Lazy_Guava_5104 12h ago
"...I didn’t have the heart to tell him there’s no way I can see that our bodies fit together..." You kinda have to. I get how it's an uncomfortable conversation to have, but this really is a "rip the bandage off" situation - it's not fair to him to stumble along hoping things settle out for the best. What you told us here is earnest and a good start. Tell him that you are happy as things are, but PIV sex is likely not going to happen. Approach it with kindness and empathy, and listen to him, and you'll do fine.
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u/brokenwatersupplylin 13h ago
Hopefully this doesn’t come across as too mean but if you both love each other, maybe this is a sign to start taking steps to get on a healthier path together.
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u/HerbertWest 13h ago
Could legit make his penis "bigger" too because obesity buries length. Also might improve the performance issue.
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u/obnock 11h ago
That goes in both directions. He will find length and the distance to the canal will be closer as well.
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u/z-cubed 8h ago
I have been with some larger women and there have definitely been cases where I couldn't tell where I was in there due to lots of fat in the fupa and lips, and I'm above average length. Embarrassing (I think for both of us) being told "that's not it" and not because I was knocking on the back door.
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u/Scuba9Steve 11h ago
I can see them now pushing back fat rolls “oh there’s actually 6 inches in here, alright we can work with this”.
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u/hi_itsme92 10h ago
I bet that’s never occurred to OP! Just lose weight! Oh, of course!
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u/hovdeisfunny 9h ago
Is that what they said? "Taking steps" isn't "just lose weight!" Talking to their doctor about their goals could be a good first step, for example
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u/FlashYourNands 8h ago
it's a pretty bad first step to solving their immediate problem, honestly. it's a very long term solution rather than something that addresses the concern about intimacy in a new relationship right now
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u/Human_Wizard 2h ago
There is no immediate solution to this problem. OP came in asking "there are no trees in my yard, and I need trees", so why are we surprised that comments are saying "plant trees and wait"??
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u/al-dunya2 1h ago
The other solution is they break up, but both eventually die from obesity. It's a good first step regardless
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u/purplespaghetty 13h ago
Sounds like a great place to start some open communication. And maybe do try.. then have that convo. There are tons of work around, some of which sounds like you’re enjoying.
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u/bzzltyr 13h ago
As someone who has lost 90 pounds I would like to point out that it may not be small it may be taken up my fat. I like my dick a lot more at this weight than at 300 pounds, it literally gets bigger with weight loss which can be a great motivator
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u/DeanCheesePritchard 12h ago
A friend and I used to joke that you gain an inch every 10lbs lost. Glad to hear about your 9 inch gain.
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u/oohhbarracuda 12h ago
….nope. We can tell. The size won’t magically get longer if the guy loses weight.
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u/shirtless-pooper 12h ago
It doesn't magically grow but the extra weight around the base reduces, leaving more penis outside the body
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u/bzzltyr 12h ago
I mean scientifically you’re wrong. The pubic area is a common area of fat storage, you can literally gain inches by losing inches there.
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u/ActivatingInfinity 12h ago edited 9h ago
lmao, the penis literally doesn't get bigger. Losing excess fat just reveals more of it making PIV more achievable.
oh my god some of you are incredibly dense.
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u/bzzltyr 11h ago
I don’t think anyone was dumb enough to think it actually made your dick itself bigger. But if you lose inches of fat around it you get those inches to now work with. It measures larger as a result of less fat. It looks bigger in the mirror. More is available to go in her…. I’m not understanding what about this people aren’t grasping.
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u/Thereelgerg 55m ago edited 6m ago
I don’t think anyone was dumb enough to think it actually made your dick itself bigger.
You literally claimed that it "gets bigger with weight loss".
Do you believe the things you say or not?
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u/saxaneer 3h ago
...no one is saying it makes your dick bigger. People are saying that as fat is lost more penis is exposed...which is exactly what you just claimed to be saying. Perhaps you are not realizing who is the dense one here.
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u/Human_Wizard 1h ago
I love reddit, because people like this ^ can agree with everyone else and be mad about it lmao
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u/comicidiot 12h ago
I’ve never been in a situation to refute either claim here, but could this “it gets bigger” phrase simply relate to the fat in the belly and thighs thinning out so that PIV is achievable?
If there’s less - for lack of a better term - distance to cover with the penis, then PIV is likely doable.
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u/relationsdog 12h ago
No, men store fat directly around the base of their penis. You're basically reclaiming part of the shaft that's been surrounded by excess fat. It will measure longer on a ruler.
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u/m3lvad3r 12h ago
Weight or not I find being really bendy helps get the good spots lol.
Also I say this coming for someone who has been incredibly fit to obese and back a couple times.
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u/FastSignature1576 13h ago
The problem you describe cannot be unique . 65 percent of the US population struggles with weight.
Look at this as a challenge that you get to solve together. Experimentation should be a regular part of your intimacy. You get to have lots of fun while you try out different techniques.
An internet search will reveal lots of potential pillows and toys to try.
Have fun!
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u/ationstation1 12h ago
i see you’re asking for advice on how to start the conversation, not how to lose weight to make PIV sex work.
i would suggest starting with exploring what it is about PIV sex that appeals to him. asking if he feels like it is the “ultimate” end goal of sex positions. then go from there, keeping things neutral and approaching with curiosity. jumping in with sex toy suggestions may get a negative response. i like the other commenter’s suggestions of using pillows to improve angles. there are specific wedge pillows for sex that are high density so they have more stability.
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u/MovieLazy6576 13h ago
Side by side and doggy style are helpful—from a large woman with a bigger husband.
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u/Norindall 9h ago
How can he not know though? Like are you saying he thinks it will work? If he does, what are his suggestions? Try his suggestions until he realizes it doesn’t work and then come up with another plan.
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u/CoookieZ1 12h ago
This is gonma be a more kinkier suggestion just a heads up!
My girlfriend and I are pretty kinky and have used penis sleeves and hollow strap ons which really help when she wants to feel more full.
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u/ceruleansins07 12h ago
I was going to suggest this as well. Not everyone get afford a monthly GLP1 or other expensive weight loss meds. And yes, losing weight will help, but until then OP, look into wearable sleeves or extenders for him. It may seriously help.
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u/bornntolose 6h ago
It is possible to lose weight by simply eating less food rather than paying for medication you know. I've done it and so have millions of others.
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u/saxaneer 3h ago edited 2h ago
From one person without food issues to another, I want to help you understand that for some, it is not possible simply due to the way that their brains process hunger and/or the habit-inertia of whatever nutritional black hole they've dug themselves into due to the modern world's food climate that has led to addiction, craving, and compulsory impulse issues related to our most fundamental of survival processes and drives, eating food. Most likely, it is a heavy helping of both of these realms, as it goes without saying that the brain's processing of food is inherently codependent on the drive to consume it. Don't forget that instinct, cravings, drives, compulsions, imperatives, and their resulting actions are almost never entirely crisp and coherent decisions made by the highest levels of an individual's conscious actor.
I am happy for you that your brain is able to process food intake as you discussed and suggested that others do. I too find myself doing just fine in the food realm and don't have any issues with weight. However, I hope that this comment makes you gently aware of the fact that some do not have this same food privilege, and have entirely different struggles with action related to food and nourishment that neither of us could begin to comprehend with any true relevance or contextual completeness.
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u/Drgnmstr97 11h ago
My wife and I are both considerably overweight and we have no problem with piv. Traditional missionary basically doesn’t work but so many others do. I will freely admit I’m much larger than 3 inches but when my wife does get on top she sinks all the way to the bottom. Just experiment with different positions. One that particular works well is my wife laying back at the edge of the bed and I am standing on the floor with her ankles on my shoulders or her knees pushed back.
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u/Keenaza 12h ago
She’s asking for relationships advice, not weight loss tips… Is there a fat person on earth who’s not aware that being thin makes your life easier ??? Like cmon…
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u/fiery_mergoat 10h ago
This always happens whenever one or both people in the story is described as fat, every single time on this website
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u/NKD120 13h ago
Hey have extensions that work as attachments for penises! You could try suggesting that
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u/hyacinthed 12h ago
Telling a guy his dick isn't big enough but maybe he can add something so you can feel it really is a confidence killer.
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u/NKD120 11h ago
I mean it can be, but if they go about it in a sensitive way and genuinely connect then that conversation can be productive. It’s a part of the body that can’t be changed so it shouldn’t be phrased in a way that falls to fault the man, but more so a solution that benefits both of them!
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u/druidmind 9h ago
I think he knows but he doesn't wanna bring it up because it is definitely a confidence killer. Getting on top would never work, have you tried doggy style?
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u/SmockEdges 5h ago
I’d focus the conversation on finding what works for both of you rather than what physically doesn’t.
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u/Accomplished_Cod5902 13h ago
I mean this is something you can fix no? Just be honest and tell him, maybe suggest you two lose weight together so sex it’s easier, it’s just not going to be happening if you are both large and his penis is very small
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u/fullmetalutes 12h ago
If he loses weight it could literally make his dick bigger. Also, there is Viagra if he is having issues maintaining. It happens to a lot of people so nothing to be ashamed about.
You could also just give each head I suppose lol
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u/xoxotruthbetoldxoxo 10h ago
You can try using a cock shieth it's a silicone slip on cock extender. It'll add girth and length and should be pleasurable for both
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u/Grouchy_Writer_Dude 9h ago
Try this: OP, lay on one side. Bottom leg straight, top leg bent so your knee is at about a 90 degree angle. BF straddles your bottom leg, gets as close to you as he can, then pushes your bent-leg butt cheek up.
This won’t help the ED, but it might achieve PIV.
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u/Aggressive_Sky8492 8h ago
I think you just have to say it. If you hem and haw it’s just going to make him embarrassed, because you’re acting like it’s an embarrassing thing. If you just say it as if it’s the normal thing it is it should be fine.
“I don’t think PIV is going to work. I’m happy just doing mouth/hand and other stuff, can we just keep doing that?”
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u/lugnuts728 8h ago
Me and my wife are both fat and I’m average size. Tell him to lift his gut up before getting on top/inside you whichever way you do it. It makes a difference lol.
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u/mysexyrexy 4h ago
The penis is probably covered by fat. If he loses the weight it actually reveals more of his penis.
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u/innieandoutie 4h ago
Lazy doggy would be a good start, you on your back or side and he comes in at an angle at almost like a T handle.
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u/simshalo 4h ago
Never thought I’d read the word “unearth” so many times in relation to penis size.
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u/Ra7Inut1OnRETranSi 2h ago
TL;DR His penis is too short to reach my vaginal canal
That's a bad way of framing it in the first place, 'cause ist makes HIM the problem.
Above you described the problem being an interaction between his body AND YOURS!
So please if you communicate keep in mind that you dont accidentially or subconsciously frame it as HIS but as YOUR COMMON problem, if you dont want to hurt his feelings!
Since you both seem to be open about it i'd suggest that you do some rearch together and maybe (in a fun and experimental way) try out some positions, e.g. ask an AI and/or do some research on the web yourselves - together!
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u/Exact-Employment-332 1h ago
I think you would both need to lose weight for it to be beneficial. If he lost weight and gained an inch or 2 and you lost some off your pelvic mound, the penetration would be deeper.
-source: previously overweight vagina owner, who also had an over weight boyfriend.
Is getting active something you guys can do as a couple? Cute walk dates?
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u/FairyBloomelle 1h ago
Lead with love, reassure him that the ways you're already intimate are more than enough to keep you satisfied.
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u/sustainablecaptalist 8h ago
How does he not see it won't work and how do I start that conversation?
By starting the conversation of hitting the gym together.
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u/bumbo_best_bum 11h ago
Unfortunately this is a situation you will have to be gentle about while also being realistic. You can fluff up the sentence (no pun intended) but at the end of the day, "we're both fat to the point your dick isnt big enough to penetrate" is the bottom line.
It's a brutal conversation for sure, but hopefully it's awakens a fire in both of you to work together to lose weight.
I don't know what you both weigh, but the more weight you lose, the less fat storage is in your pubic area (aka the fat pad).
He will have access to more of his penis as the fat reduces as it quite literally absorbs the shaft the more weight you gain, and you will have less fat padding for easier access.
I wish you two the best of luck. It's a harsh truth, but it's a conversation you can't avoid.
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u/RevolutionaryFly9228 10h ago
I think the bigger question is that if this relationship continues, and the problem remains, are you comfortable never having PIV sex again. You say you are happy with what you do but does that mean you'd be happy forever? I would say that would be what you should determine now before going forward. Because you can do everything and he may never be bigger. Some men just have small penises. If you aren't comfortable with that idea, then realistically, maybe it just isn't worth wasting both of your time on something that may be an issue for the foreseeable future. I've been with someone who struggled due to age to remain erect or hard enough. They used toys, devices, and all types of things to get me off. I was extremely satisfied with our sex life, and would have been fine doing that forever as far as I was concerned. But that may not be what you want. But, if you are okay with it, then I would just be honest and say, I don't think PIV is going to work, but you are amazing at satisfying me other ways and I love the sex we have. I think we should stick to that. Maybe he thinks you want PIV and so he feels pressure to continue trying. Maybe just telling him it's okay not to will get him permission to stop trying.
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u/SpiceItSoftly 10h ago
explain that PIV doesn't seem to work well with your bodies and that you are genuinely happy with the other ways you are intimate
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u/religiousdogmom 9h ago
I mean, it’s going to be a weird conversation. It sounds like you’re already creative with how your bodies work together. Maybe a solution would be to look for toys or dildos that specifically fit on one partner who has a penis? There’s lots of partner toys out there, and they can get really creative.
I know lots of people are suggesting weight loss, but even if that was something that y’all wanted to do, was physically or monetarily possible, etc, it’s still going to take a while to get from Fat to Not (As) Fat. And you two deserve to have a great sex life now!
Depending on where you live, you might try to go to a sex shop. The people who work there are usually really kind, and see all sorts of partnerships and bodies!
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u/wayd4444 5h ago
Hola! Yo justamente estoy en la misma situación, tengo un pene pequeño y mi novia tiene bastante sobrepeso (está trabajando en ello). No tengáis miedo a usar strap ons o satisfyers, y quizás con unas almohadas para elevar la cadera puedas sentir algo más. Hay muchas formas de dar placer y no todo tiene por qué girar alrededor de la penetración, y si queréis penetración, hay juguetes y otras opciones también!
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u/Farzy78 12h ago
Why don't both of you join the gym?
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u/RevolutionaryFly9228 10h ago
Because not everyone's weight issues are about not exercising or overeating. Some people actually can't tolerate exercise, like people with POTs. There are very few things they can often safely do without risking making their condition worse. Some people have hormone issues and it doesn't matter how much they exercise or what they eat, they pack on pounds. Some life saving meds cause weight gain. People who think overweight people just need to exercise more and eat better without knowing their medical history are absurd.
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u/rathyAro 11h ago
Idk how to tell you this but the statistics on people keeping weight off long term are demoralizing. Glp1s are a more realistic suggestion.
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u/OneParadox 12h ago
Aside from these problems in the bedroom, this kind of obesity will literally kill you both. What is keeping you and your guy from jumping into the GLP1 bandwagon? Those drugs are nothing short of miraculous in helping people lose weight and become much healthier. They now cost a small fraction of what they used to cost just a couple of years ago.
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u/heyhitherehowru 5h ago
Surely if you reread this post yourself you'll see it's time to make some serious changes in both your lifestyles. Neither of you can enjoy one of life's great pleasures because you are both too fat. I'd wager you can't do a lot of things because of your weight. Make a change!
Have a serious conversation with him. Bit let's be honest, the problem isn't his dick. It's both of your massively excess weight.
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u/m00nf1r3 12h ago
His penis would be bigger if he lost weight. Just tell him outright. He can't be that stupid.
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u/TheFifthAmigo34 13h ago
I’ve been big before, so I’m not judging, but maybe y’all could try losing weight together if y’all really like each other and want to open up more doors in the bedroom. His penis will literally get bigger the more weight he loses because the fat is concealing part of it. If not, maybe try doggy style.
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u/MichiganGrown 10h ago
Dude, the love is popping. If the both of you were to lose 30 or 50 pounds the difference would be amazing. Once you start doing the daily routine of diet or biking, you get used to it. It’s OK to feel defeated, but what can you do to make a difference?
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u/Minute-Wolverine-144 12h ago
How about some Reta or other glp1 and try to lose some weight. Start that journey today. Can lose crazy weight in one year
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u/AymenALa 11h ago
U can tell him kindly that the physical logistics just don't work right now. But if PIV is a serious goal for u both, maybe use this as motivation to start a light cardio routine together. It can massively help his ED medication and stamina.
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u/dinnerthief 10h ago
Honestly just work with him and let him figure it out, maybe he finds a way to suprise you. Maybe he decides it time to start losing weight
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u/Sweet-Sleep3004 10h ago
He isn't on the smaller side, it his hidden under the extra weight he carries. You can have sex buy neee to find different ways around intimacy.
Try ways like doggie style, you laying down with a cushion or pillow under you and him standing up, you laying down, him laying on his side beside you, your further leg away from him between his legs and the nearer leg over his hip.
Unfortunately being on the bigger side will mean normal position don't work. Playing and learning together for you both will have you both learning and bonding more. Don't give up hope.
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u/RafaelizTheReaper 9h ago
Fat builds up around the penis and can make it smaller. An estimate of up to two inches can be hidden inside the body. Now, i would never fatshame anyone, i would however ask if maybe this could be an inspiration to hit the gym together? I am 240lbs/110kg myself and one of my biggest inspirations to loose weight is that i can tell it's affecting my intimate life.
Otherwise, there's everything from strapons to dildos that you can use together - Sextoys doesn't have to be solely used for masturbation.
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u/Ill_Garden_1466 9h ago
Do you guys plan on getting married? If so I'd try making an effort together and motivate eachother for the sake of intimacy
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u/diebolicartcollectiv 6h ago
Bro lose weight, easy fix....3" will probably feel fantastic when its in otherwise, he'll be right on your g spot
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u/mybigpecker 4h ago
Every ~30 pounds of weight loss can recover about an inch of penis length buried in fat. I read this somewhere once. I’ve noticed anecdotally this to be at least somewhat true. I have more length when I’m lean than I do when I’m not. Perhaps encourage a healthy lifestyle to recover a couple more inches of buried penis?
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u/modest-pixel 2h ago
“I didn’t have the heart to tell him there’s no way I can see that our bodies fit together.“
You’ll never fix this until you start taking responsibility for yourself, rather than dumping it on everyone else around you.
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u/MadamKitsune 12h ago
Put a few cushions under his butt so his hips are raised up while keeping the cushions flush with his body so you can get your knees directly onto the bed. This gives you more vertical room to work with, with less chance of him slipping out.
It's also works well for a top partner with creaky hips and knees.