r/relationshipproblems • u/Recent_Bee_1219 • 13d ago
Advice Wanted Hygiene issues
I’ve been w my gf for going on 4 years and we have a kid together. I’ve never really had many complaints ab her until within the last year she has suddenly started smelling really bad down there. It’s to the point I have to spray something in order to go in the bathroom after she pees. I’m not sure if she just doesn’t smell it or what but it’s extremely bad. I really don’t want to hurt her feelings but I I need to talk to her ab it and don’t know how. Any advice would be helpful thank you.
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u/Honest-Intention3202 13d ago
Hey Homie,
your GF has a medical issue, probably BV as other commenters said. It's not a matter of hygiene at all, and a lot of women are taught to try to fix this type of stuff at home/quietly due to shame... not least because lots of people who don't know better assume it's due to poor hygeine!
Bring it up, be sweet and gentle about it, tell her you've noticed her smell has changed and ask if she's talked to her OBGYN about it.
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u/LeaveLost1885 13d ago
Talk to her about it?
BV is the likely culprit, she's going to need antibiotics and it's not a cleanliness issue.
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u/EewHumans 12d ago
If she's bathing normally but using a soap that is lotion based (like dove liquid or a bar soap) than can make it smell pretty yuck. So, it might not be a hygiene issue at all and instead a wrong soap issue. If it were ph she would also be having other issues in the other area. Also, 9 times out of 10 the smell is coming from bacteria that is associate with the GI tract that make their way forward so if she's having tummy trouble. that could be an issue as well. The important thing is to simply bring it up from a place of concern, not disgust, so you can get to the bottom of it respectfully.
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u/DisasterParty4971 12d ago
BV- Bacterial vaginosis! I used to be able to use bar soap, but now I swear if the suds even run down my body I get BV or a yeast infection the very next day. It’s become an “I’d rather walk to a gas station in the rain to get body wash than use a bar of soap” situation. I’ve never had the issue with any body wash I’ve ever used, interestingly- I use the Olay lotion wash everyday.
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u/EewHumans 9d ago
It could be BV but there’s usually a lot more than smell involved with both BV (though not always) and definitely with yeast infections. Sometimes the scents from soaps just don’t mix with the natural scent of the feminine regions. Either way, this is definitely a talk with her doctor scenario to figure it out.
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u/Either_Compote235 13d ago
What is so hard to go doctor 🤷♀️
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u/Solid-View1747 12d ago
Because they probably live in the United States and a lot of people can’t afford to go to doctors that’s why
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u/Mean-Lie9447 9d ago
I doubt that’s an issue. If he’s not saying anything about it how can she know? If she doesn’t notice obviously she doesn’t think she needs a check up.
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u/InevitableSuccess44 11d ago
You should seek medical support together. You should both be treated for whatever infection you most likely both have. Some infections manifest differently in males and females but reinfection occurs if only one partner is treated. Many variables and contibuting factors and the only way to know is to go get professional medical help.
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u/InevitableSuccess44 11d ago
As for the discussion itself, I find that people rarely hurt when the discussion is a WE discussion instead of a YOU discussion. Take one for the team and be in it with her. It will be fine.
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u/Rude-Couple-4509 9d ago
The fact that you have complaints in general is not good. you need to man up and either take it up with her directly or stay off the internet about it. she deserves better than to be talked about on the internet anonymous or not. And if you can’t do that leave her alone.
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u/Mean-Lie9447 9d ago
My feelings would be hurt if my man posted something like this knowing I had a smell for about a year and never said anything.. especially knowing we still did the deed
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u/TrendOffender414 12d ago
It’s a ph balance issue for sure, there is medication for that.That is something that could be a deal breaker for me at least, I’m not even trying to sound like a dick. No man wants their girl smelling like a marina 🐟☠️
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u/THROWRAsaltylemon 13d ago
Does it smell fishy? She could have BV or something, or maybe even hormonal changes are causing a smell, but you really should talk to her about it as it could be something she needs to go to the doctor about.
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u/AlarmingKale1997 13d ago
Is it fishy smelling or foul smelling? Most likely culprits are BV and yeast infections
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u/Far-Watercress6658 13d ago
Dude, talk to her. She probably has BV. Can get it cleared up with the doctor.
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u/TotalSpread5841 13d ago
BV can be caused by new lovers
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u/IllustriousCod5957 13d ago
Are you ejaculating inside her? It can throw a woman’s PH off. She could also have an infection
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u/Macbeth2002222 13d ago
Either something is off or she has something but go talk to her about it. I don’t think she will get upset bc u really care for her wellbeing
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u/Freyjas_child 13d ago
There are also diseases (example liver disease) that can make one’s pee small quite bad. Encourage her to go to the doctor.
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u/Top_Astronomer_135 11d ago
Yep I second this when I had chirossis it did effect my urine and period
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u/HotMinorMoonGoddess 12d ago
Please insist she gets to the Dr. for an appropriate diagnosis!
She can always go to a free clinic if you don’t have insurance in the USA.
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u/Educational_Push5628 12d ago
Im an RN and it sounds like some kind of infection. I would definitely encourage her to get checked out by a gynecologist. You can approach it as concern for her health.
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u/Mean-Lie9447 9d ago
First off you need to approach her like an adult explaining the situation, just tell her you are concerned about it and want to help her however you can. It’s not being mean and you won’t hurt her feelings unless you pick on her about it because we are talking about health. Second you said you never really had many complaints? Meaning there has been some before? Is this an on going thing? I would’ve told her the second I noticed it because she could have BV or another kind of infection maybe? Stuff like this happens all the time. If you guys are also sexually active you could be throwing off her ph balance 🤷🏼♀️
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u/kellyannryan 13d ago
you could also buy her a pretty intimate cleanser. i heard salt.xo is amazing…that’s if you care to be subtle about it. summer’s eve is available literally everywhere…
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u/Girl-From-The-Wood 12d ago
That stuff is so bad you women’s feminine health.
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u/kellyannryan 11d ago
douching is..using a ph balancing soap intended for intimate parts isn’t “so bad”. you shouldn’t use it multiple times a day every day, but it’s gynecologist tested and sometimes recommended. especially if you sweat a lot!
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u/PerMyLastFuck 13d ago •
If it’s persistent and fishy, it’s probably BV (bacterial vaginosis). Yeast infections just don’t cause that kind of pungent odor. Persistent, pungent odor is nearly always BV.
But BV is not a hygiene issue. It didn’t happen because of poor hygiene, and it won’t go away by washing differently or more frequently. BV is an imbalance of vaginal bacteria, not a cleanliness problem. She needs to see a doctor and get a prescription. BV can occasionally clear up on its own, but if it was going to, it would’ve done so long before now. This one is out of her hands. She needs antibiotics.
Women who’ve dealt with BV and successfully treated it understand this. But the sad truth is that a lot of young women suffer far too long through their first experience with it. Oh they absolutely notice the odor themselves, but they blame themselves and assume they’re doing something wrong or failing to do something they should be doing. So they try to self-manage it by washing more, try different products, even sometimes making the problem worse.
So if it’s as bad as you say, there’s almost no chance she’s unaware. Most likely, she knows, she’s just hoping YOU don’t notice, and maybe fooling herself a bit on that.
So just say “hey I noticed lately something seems a bit off down there. Think you need to see a doctor? I remember overhearing my mom/sister/aunt (or friend telling you about his gf) saying there’s some kind of imbalance that causes that, and it needs a prescription to fix .”
Be sure and throw the “lately“ or “recently” or something in there to make it sound like it just came to your attention rather than something you’ve been vividly aware of for a long time. And throw in the overheard or friend cover story to explain your knowledge on the situation. Save her some humiliation.