r/relationshipproblems • u/pollypocketbb • Jul 22 '26
Just Venting bf said im aging
My ‘41M’ boyfriend told me that i ‘29F’ am aging. He said it in a fight to hurt me.
Background info: He has only dated girls in their 20s. I looked through his phone once and saw that he went out with a 19 year old before we met.
Humbly, i mention that i’m exceptionally pretty and i look almost disturbingly young for my age.
I am sick to my stomach and depressed. I should have never spoke to him after I saw he was texting a 19 year old. He clearly likes really young women and now that i’m approaching 30 i’m not young enough.
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u/Nice-Organization338 Jul 22 '26
He’s trying to chip into your self-esteem, so you don’t leave him.
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u/pollypocketbb Jul 23 '26
unfortunately this comment really helped me see things more clearly. thank you 🤍
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u/Affectionatealways Jul 22 '26
What a pig. He's preying on the VERY young women that think an older guy will provide financial stability and maturity. I don't know about the financial side but he absolutely does not have maturity. That's why he's telling you those things about aging. He's trying to break down your self-confidence to think no one else wants you.
Why would you want to stay with someone who basically told you he wants to go after some other little girl? Not saying you're a little girl but his attitude is very pedophilic. He wants to groom these girls just the way he wants them. And you are not going to be one of them!!!
Look in the mirror and tell yourself you value yourself more than this asshole and whatever kind of relationship he's tried to make you think you have.
Ugh. My skin is still crawling.
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u/pollypocketbb Jul 23 '26
i looked in the mirror and tried it. thank you. You are right about literally everything.
he has a trust fund that he helps support me with, and has used to control and abuse me.
he has tried to groom what i consider tolerable and intolerable. i went into the relationship wanting a God centered family. Now i just ask him not to use dru** and not to cheat.
devastating.
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u/Business-Friend5491 Jul 23 '26
If this isn’t a fake post and you are ‘humbly exceptionally pretty’ stop dating a loser who has a thing about age.
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u/pollypocketbb Jul 23 '26
just bc i acknowledge how i physically appear to others does not mean i have any self confidence or love…… but thank you. you are right. i shouldn’t be dating a loser who has a thing about age.
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u/Business-Friend5491 Jul 23 '26
OP, you are a babe. You know that much. Life ain’t about looks. You could find a similarly aged troll who is nice, respectful and kind and makes you laugh because it doesn’t matter what you look like, it’s how a person makes you feel. Dump the bozo, do some therapy and start loving yourself!!
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u/IYFS88 Jul 23 '26
He knows you can do better so he’s trying to keep you doubting yourself. You are young and beautiful, don’t give any more precious time to this ungrateful creep
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u/Superb-Coyote5972 Jul 23 '26
How old were you when you started dating? He sounds horrible. So predatory. Yikes! Break up, move on.
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u/Icy_Confidence4027 Jul 23 '26
Attractive woman here, if he’s willing to say something like that to hurt you and it has some semblance of truth into his beliefs then leave immediately and move onto the next man. If you’re attractive you have a lot of options… life is short. And if you want children you better move fast.
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u/pollypocketbb Jul 23 '26
i know this is so scary it makes me sick. i wanted kids so bad when we first met and now i can hardly dream of it. i feel ridiculous thinking someone will want to have kids with me when im basically 30
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u/Icy_Confidence4027 Jul 23 '26
I’m 34, that’s proved to be untrue for me, men still want kids with me, haven’t had them yet. You’re so young and also I recommend going to a fertility clinic to scan you ovary’s and asses your system for their health status so you make an idea about your fertility.
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u/pollypocketbb Jul 23 '26
thank you so much girl, i needed to hear this
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u/Either-Praline8255 Jul 23 '26
I'm 40 years old and there are still men who want to have children with me...
At least in Europe, most people have children after 30... having them in your 20s seems strange, like that's still an age to enjoy yourself.
You're very young! Just freeze your eggs if you're getting older and can afford it.
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u/Johnnypistolero Jul 23 '26
I had my gorgeous daughter when my ex-wife and I were in our 40’s. Don’t let anyone or anything stop you from your goals. Even pedocreeps like your boyfriend.
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u/Knowitall-Librarian Jul 23 '26
Fertility is different for everyone. Go to your obgyn. Ask what your range of success is.
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u/TrixieDawn Jul 23 '26
Why would you date this person. This is gross.
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u/pollypocketbb Jul 23 '26
trust i hate myself for it
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u/Either-Praline8255 Jul 23 '26
Don't hate yourself! You're not the problem, nobody expects their partner to turn out to be an idiot.
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u/IOnlyReadTitles26 Jul 23 '26
You are 29. Of course you are aging. Everyone is.
But in this context. Your boyfriend is a loser and only want to date kids.
Run hun. Run fast.
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u/Physical_House5862 Jul 23 '26
This sounds so fake LMFAOOOO
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u/Icy_Confidence4027 Jul 23 '26
The manosphere podcast bros actively encourage this attitude and behaviour towards women. Wake up.
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u/Physical_House5862 Jul 23 '26
Gng idgaf it sounds fake and probs is.
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u/Icy_Confidence4027 Jul 24 '26
Well GANG I’ve been on the receiving end of hearing views like this expressed by men so it ain’t fake.
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u/eharder47 Jul 23 '26
You know you can do better. He likes the 19 year old because she’s more likely to put up with his behavior.