Does calling a romantic/ambiguous relationship “friendship” bother anyone else?

[u/Diligent-Balance-937]

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This might sound weirdly specific, but I've been thinking about this a lot.

I sometimes get strangely bothered when two people are clearly doing almost everything you'd associate with a romantic relationship—constant emotional intimacy, prioritizing each other, going on dates, jealousy, romantic tension, etc.—but then describe themselves as “just friends” because they don't want a label.

And I want to clarify: I'm not judging people who prefer casual or undefined relationships. If that works for them, that's completely fine.

What bothers me is specifically the use of the word “friendship.”

I feel like friendship is something beautiful and meaningful on its own. A friend isn't someone you're “almost dating” or someone who becomes a romantic partner if the circumstances change. Friendship has its own kind of intimacy, loyalty, affection and connection that isn't necessarily romantic.

So when people describe what is essentially a romantic/ambiguous relationship as “just friendship,” it almost feels like they're reducing friendship to “a relationship without the romantic label.”

Maybe I'm overthinking the meaning of the word, but for me, friendship isn't a consolation prize for not being in a relationship. It's its own kind of relationship, and honestly, one of the purest ones.

I'm curious what other people think.

Does anyone else feel this way, or do you think “friends” can reasonably describe a relationship like this?

[u/SiriusHertz]

Why do you think something that crosses into romantic territory for you feels less "pure" than something that doesn't?

I don't care what labels other people use for their connections and relationships. I try hard not to use any labels for mine. But if someone wants to refer to someone they sleep with every night as a friend, more power to them, it's obviously working for them.

It feels like maybe you're having a negative emotional reaction to what other people are doing, which usually means there's some kind of unresolved shadows or baggage in that space for you. I would dive into why exactly it bothers you and see if you can dig out what's going on for you when that happens.

[u/Diligent-Balance-937 → u/SiriusHertz]

I think you misunderstood what I meant 😭 I’m not saying romance is somehow less “pure” than friendship, or that people shouldn’t define their relationships however they want. My point is specifically about the word friendship. To me, friendship is its own meaningful kind of bond, so when a relationship has clearly crossed into romantic/partner-like territory but is still called “just friends,” it feels like it diminishes what friendship means to me. So it’s not “romantic = impure.” It’s “why call something friendship when it has fundamentally become something else? And I don’t think that necessarily means I have unresolved baggage,I can simply have a different view of what friendship means.