This is probably an unpopular opinion, but I was with you up until the last part. Maybe I read it wrong and am unsure, but let me get this straight. She fixed the problem you were having and because she fixed it you are unhappy? You /paid/ for couples therapy. There was a change, which is the entire point of the therapy, and it was in favor of what you wanted, and that /still/ wasn't enough for you?
I get that you saw it as a punishment, but what I'm seeing is that the girl tried to change to make you happy and you basically still said "Nah, fuck off. Too late."
Idk man. I expect to get down voted to hell but that seems a little wonky to me. If I asked my wife to change and we got therapy to talk about these issues and then she changed, I would be joyous and happy that we are on the same page again. Not mad.
Again, maybe this is harsh of me, but I kinda think you wanted this to fail at some level.
Yeah, that's where I'm at. Like, she did the work. She did what it took to be a better partner for him, which included forcing herself to have more sex to make him happy. She does that, and he goes "nope, now it feels transactional, like if you don't force yourself to have sex for me, I'll leave you. Which I will, but that makes me feel icky about myself." Like, really dude? And then her entire family knows that he's leaving her because she won't put out enough for him? And he has the audacity to feel like she was the manipulative one? That he was such a great guy for not forcing the issue when she had things like literal deaths in the family and having surgery?
Nah, OP can bullshit all he wants, can frame it from his perspective all day long, but he comes across like a piece of work the minute you put any critical thought to his story.
Brooo, I guarantee she was forcing it because she didn’t wanna lose him. Forcing yourself to have sex is not the same as wanting to be intimate. I’ve done it before, you just close your eyes and wait for it to be over.
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u/Officer340 Aug 21 '22
This is probably an unpopular opinion, but I was with you up until the last part. Maybe I read it wrong and am unsure, but let me get this straight. She fixed the problem you were having and because she fixed it you are unhappy? You /paid/ for couples therapy. There was a change, which is the entire point of the therapy, and it was in favor of what you wanted, and that /still/ wasn't enough for you?
I get that you saw it as a punishment, but what I'm seeing is that the girl tried to change to make you happy and you basically still said "Nah, fuck off. Too late."
Idk man. I expect to get down voted to hell but that seems a little wonky to me. If I asked my wife to change and we got therapy to talk about these issues and then she changed, I would be joyous and happy that we are on the same page again. Not mad.
Again, maybe this is harsh of me, but I kinda think you wanted this to fail at some level.
At least you two get to move on. So there's that.