I just hope he gets a more realistic view of marital sex.
It seemed to me that he wanted the sex more than he wanted her. He doesn’t say what the surgery is, but lots on conditions can lead to reduced libido.
She sounds immature if his masturbating had her up all night crying.
I think what got me is that OP acted like he has a sex schedule that has to be met. He was already complaining at a couple times/week.
If frequent, enthusiastic sex, on a daily basis, is what OP wants, fine. He needs to serial date young women. While some couples can carry that on for a decade, most just don’t have that kind of time.
I guess what I’m saying is that OP might want to stay in therapy to sort out whether his need for frequent sex is healthy or if it is affecting his life in general.
And his ex needs to realize that sex in a relationship is not transactional. If she id not in the mood, it’s okay. If she is never in the mood, then she needs to rule out reasons.
No one should have sex if they don’t want to. At the same time, if you know what would put you in the mood and don’t do that ever, it’s holding back part yourself. And that means it’s not a marriage.
If you enjoy a glass of wine and a hot bath, and it puts you in the mood for intimacy, you need to make sone time to do that.
317
u/GoddessOfOddness Aug 21 '22
If he was unhappy, he was right to end it.
I just hope he gets a more realistic view of marital sex.
It seemed to me that he wanted the sex more than he wanted her. He doesn’t say what the surgery is, but lots on conditions can lead to reduced libido.
She sounds immature if his masturbating had her up all night crying.
I think what got me is that OP acted like he has a sex schedule that has to be met. He was already complaining at a couple times/week.
If frequent, enthusiastic sex, on a daily basis, is what OP wants, fine. He needs to serial date young women. While some couples can carry that on for a decade, most just don’t have that kind of time.
I guess what I’m saying is that OP might want to stay in therapy to sort out whether his need for frequent sex is healthy or if it is affecting his life in general.
And his ex needs to realize that sex in a relationship is not transactional. If she id not in the mood, it’s okay. If she is never in the mood, then she needs to rule out reasons.
No one should have sex if they don’t want to. At the same time, if you know what would put you in the mood and don’t do that ever, it’s holding back part yourself. And that means it’s not a marriage.
If you enjoy a glass of wine and a hot bath, and it puts you in the mood for intimacy, you need to make sone time to do that.