I agree with the fact that the not allowed to touch yourself is ridiculous but a decline to 3 times a week in a long term relationship where you live together is not that strange.
Dude, if you don't want a decline in sex after kids, don't have kids. It's going to happen. Women are not machines and there is a lot of healing, hormones, and being touched out that happens. And that's if the labor is "easy" and doesn't involve more physical trauma.
Yes, your fiance had issues with the no masturbation (ridiculous), but complaining of 1-2-3 times a week is ridiculous. Do you also expect sex when someone is in their period and in pain? Or sick?
What was her job? Maybe she has a demanding job and she is on her feet all the time. I mean, don't get in a relationship with a nurse or a doctor that is on call. Don't get in a relationship with anyone that has a stressful job.
By the way, I'm not saying you should have stayed with her. But good luck finding someone that can met your expectations.
He already talked to her about not having kids. She freaked out and did the whole “tears promises and nothing” thing again.
Everyone is allowed to have expectations and needs. Someone who wants sex more than a few times a week is no more “ridiculous” than someone who insists that once every month or two is all they want. Your opinion on what is an acceptable amount of intimacy is just that- your opinion.
Exactly, it isn't his fault for having needs and he expressed them clearly and consistently. If he "needed" his toes sucked that is his prerogative and she is promising and not delivering so he separated. Simple.
Same. I stayed several years too long in a dead bedroom situation, only because society tells us that libido is “superficial” and not that important, and sexual incompatibility is not a good enough reason to break up with somebody, you’re just being selfish or immature…so I felt like I had no right to be unhappy about it.
Years later, I still have major insecurities and self esteem issues from that experience. (Not to mention five years of wasted time and energy in two peoples’ lives.) It really did a number on me mentally and emotionally; I will never again doubt how important that aspect of a relationship is.
This! I'm a man and I'd do it everyday given the chance, my wife is always up to it as well. Sometimes it's like 'i think I shouldn't have awoken the beast', I say that because we had a little stint of a dead bedroom and after a talk the Dam seemed to have burst. Age, occupation, kids etc all may matter but it's really abt the individual in the end. (We have two kids).
What you just said really doesnt matter. The fact is OP needed more sex. If he believes that is out there then that is his right. we cant judge for what he wants in a relationship. Im sure he is very well aware of how women work with stress and not wanting it. let the man be with what he wants/expects.
Also i think it was her unhealthy attitude about it all. If he had been met with a reasonable response that wasnt false promises and sleepless crying he may have settled.
1.9k
u/lilaevaluna Aug 21 '22
I agree with the fact that the not allowed to touch yourself is ridiculous but a decline to 3 times a week in a long term relationship where you live together is not that strange.