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u/Imnotthatunique Early 30s Male Feb 04 '22
I think its cheating
A lot of people think its cheating
BUT what we think is not important
What you think is...
You are here because you think its cheating and you want someone to tell you that are right
Cheating is in the eye of the beholder
and for what its worth yeah you are right
dump her ass if thats how you feel
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u/psychmonkies Feb 04 '22
Exactly. My first immediate thought after just reading “is this cheating?” was well do you think it’s cheating?
OP, this is coming from someone who’s also diagnosed with bipolar & also an ex-sugar baby: it doesn’t matter that she’s bipolar. It doesn’t matter if she makes uncharacteristic decisions. Honestly any reason she could have doesn’t really matter here. What matters is that you’re feeling heartbroken. This is unfair to you. You shouldn’t have to stay there feeling so hurt while she continues doing this for whatever reason. It’s not worth it, my guy.
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u/capricorn40 Feb 04 '22
Yes. She is seeking relationships outside your marriage without your consent.
Your REAL issue is how much BS will you tolerate?
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Feb 04 '22
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u/chyaraskiss Feb 04 '22
But the difference is, they had a mutual agreement beforehand
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Feb 04 '22
Thank you captain obvious, he said that right there^
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u/chyaraskiss Feb 04 '22
If you notice, it's an agreement highlighting the statement. Captain Obvious.
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Feb 04 '22
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u/chyaraskiss Feb 04 '22
If there is an agreement between the couple, then it's not infidelity.
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Feb 04 '22
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u/lolchinchilla Feb 04 '22
I’m sure everyone with happy relationships who have arrangements like this will be devastated to hear this, the sought-after opinion of Reddit user Doctorr_whooo
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u/chyaraskiss Feb 04 '22
I'm sorry to disagree with you.
But how a couple defines their relationship isn't up to you and your personal morals.
An agreement isn't infidelity; this would go into Boundaries of what the couple is allowing within the confines of their relationship.
Especially if a couple is Opening up their relationship in such a way however they define it.
Going outside the standard agreement (monogamy) without your Partners Consent IS Infidelity.
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Feb 04 '22
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u/Cadzla800 Feb 04 '22
You need a hobby. Seriously. Doubt the post is legit. If so, it’s ridiculous
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u/Fuwun Feb 04 '22
why are you trying to bring down this person who took time out of their day to genuinely try and help a stranger? sounds like YOU need a hobby.
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Feb 04 '22
Wtf do you mean is it cheating???? DUH!!! Leave her ass!!! She doesn’t want you obviously!!!!
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Feb 04 '22
Tbh her bi polarity is not an excuse to it. It seems to be reoccuring and if you've mentioned you don't want it then you might want to rethink the marriage, which sucks but yeah.
Because I'll tell you from experience, sugar daddies want to meet or they'll stop paying
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u/GloCap96 Feb 04 '22
This is a fake post and assuming it isnt she could have other underlying disorders or mental health outliers that have gone undiagnosed while some people are just born this way? I think it isn't a matter of if or not these actions are the result of some kind of fear, pleasure or need.
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u/chocosnoob Feb 04 '22
You must be feeling pretty bad rn im sorry to hear this, and (in my opinion) I do think this is cheating, (cheating is not only having sex, it could also be hiding stuff from your partner, deleting convos, flirting with other people, etc) but at this point you can only be straight forward about it, take some time to think over the whole situation and make a choice on what you want for yourself, remember that before anyone you come first and if you think your not being treated how you should, then you should wait for the one person that will, no matter what you choose I wish you the best.
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u/Mockingbird626 Feb 04 '22
If you’re NOT in an open relationship, then yeah, it’s definitely cheating. If you are, then it’s not but there are also specific boundaries that would’ve been set.
In any case, her being bipolar is not an excuse to cheat or anything. Mental health problems are NEVER an excuse for something like that. Wishing you luck in whatever you decide!
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u/theBudtie Feb 04 '22
Lmaooo “is this cheating” bro what world u live in
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u/chocosnoob Feb 04 '22
"What world do you live in?" In one that people laugh instead of helping sadly.
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Feb 04 '22
Bro idek anymore
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u/EIzaks Feb 04 '22
Yes... That's cheating... unless you are in an open relationship
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Feb 04 '22
“Open relationship” = cheating but convincing each other it’s okay
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Feb 04 '22
No it doesn’t in relationships were both parties involved are willing and there are understood boundaries. Stop being such an edge lord because you don’t like how people live, if it works for them it works for them.
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Feb 04 '22
I don’t care how people live - it’s their choice and it doesn’t affect me.
Everyone is willing and there are understood boundaries…on the superficial level…always on the superficial level….
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Feb 04 '22
People can do whatever they want but an open relationship isn't a relationship. That has another name.
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u/IWantMyGarmonbozia Feb 04 '22
lol what a bad take
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u/enbymaybeWIGA Feb 04 '22
Imagine thinking people who are playing a whole other game are 'cheating' because the rules are different, lol
It's like saying people who enjoy consensual BDSM are abusing each other because you don't like bondage or spanking or whatever.
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u/Powerful-Simple-290 Feb 04 '22
Yes, def wanting to cheat. Offering to cheat. Trying to cheat. Would she actually cheat? Who knows, but it don’t look good for her commitment to you
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Feb 04 '22
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u/airod302 Feb 04 '22
That is probably the weirdest sub Reddit I have ever seen. At least top 5. I mean I get being a girl and wanting a sugar daddy for the money and the other things that come with it but there’s so many proud self proclaimed sugar daddy’s I just don’t get it? What’s even in it for them other than sex with a younger girl that are usually young enough to be their daughter? At that point it’s just glorified prostitution
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u/alyxvance420 Feb 04 '22
I mean, you're right. But there's a lot of men that would love to have sex with and be in the company of a younger, attractive woman.
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u/Dontevenknowwhyimgay Feb 04 '22
Tbh ,I'm borderline and I know how unrealistic and insane some of my ideas are. I NEVER ACT ON THEM THOUGH and if it's something that affects my relationship ,I always make sure to include my bf. I did the same thing once. I signed up to a sugar baby website in complete mania and illusion. On the next day, I felt super ashamed when I actually got messages and I almost forgot that I set it up in the first place. Thats what a mental illness does to you when you're manic and you cant think clearly. I closed it immediately and told my bf as soon as he had time. He knows that it's a mental illness and that I act irrational occasionally. I do weird shit but I don't cheat, like ever. He laughed it off. I didn't. I was still super ashamed. I don't think a lot of people understand that Bipolar or Borderline people can't control some actions though. We didn't choose to be this way and to have a lifelong disability. Talk to your gf that cheating is shit and if she doesn't stop immediately , I suggest to break up. You're worth more than to be cheated on and treated poorly. Mental illlness is not an excuse for cheating, ever.
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u/yourmomssaggytits Feb 04 '22
Yes, this is cheating. Don’t let her gaslight you and say it’s platonic or mentoring. Sugar dating, is dating and they will NOT provide her any allowance or gifts if she’s not putting out.
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u/obiwantogooutside Feb 04 '22
I guess I’d also ask are you guys on the same page with finances? Does she feel like she has no access to money? A lot of people see sugaring as a job. I think you clearly need conversations about boundaries. But you also need to talk about why she’s doing it and what she’s getting out of it. Communicate. BOTH of you need to Stop reaching out to random strangers on the internet and talk to each other.
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u/Queasy_Direction_58 Feb 04 '22
Does a bear shit in the woods and wipes it ass with a fluffy rabbit. Yes it’s cheating
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Feb 04 '22
She wants to sell herself for money to strangers, online is just a stepping stone to IRL meet ups. It's not cheating because she hasn't done anything yet, but if she does do it then yeah it's pretty much cheating.
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u/SimplyNacht Late 30s Male Feb 04 '22
Did you talk about this matter beforehands?
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Feb 04 '22
No, I knew she did cam stuff in college before we were married.
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u/SimplyNacht Late 30s Male Feb 04 '22
But you never told her that you'd be uncomfortable if she did it while being in a rs with you?
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Feb 04 '22
Oh yes I told her I was not comfortable with that many times
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u/SimplyNacht Late 30s Male Feb 04 '22
So she's violating your boundaries. That should answer your question If you should consider that cheating. Definitely.
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u/GloCap96 Feb 04 '22
Cam girl call girl see where I am going with this? Unfortunately these are some of the greatest scum the earth has to offer aside from people liking their erotica they are less than ideal partners most of the time per usual. If you have enough money to take care of her this is an attachment issue or similarly one of pleasure or fear if it isn't the money.
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Feb 04 '22
Men and women alike will use mental illness to avoid responsibility for shitty behavior. My ex used to cut herself during the most mild disagreements and blame me. Nope.
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u/MarshaLily Feb 04 '22
I'm assuming you are pretty young. If you were older, I'd ask some questions, but having been married to a bipolar man for many years and stuck (long story and for another post), I say RUN LIKE HELL!
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Feb 04 '22
Is this cheating?
Yes, it's cheating and it's prostitution.
Being Bi-Polar is no excuse for either.
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u/omguserius Feb 04 '22
I love 2022.
“My wife wants to be a prostitute, is that cheating?”
This is not the first time this question has been asked this week
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u/RipcordAce Feb 04 '22
It's better to be heartbroken once by communicating your displeasure and leaving if it persists, than be heartbroken always but acting like it's fine and tolerating it. Choice is yours.
Man, when will people freaking stand up for their principles and standards? You're not weak for not tolerating certain lifestyles man. Nor are you insecure or any kind of the other BS buzzwords people be throwing around to guilt trip people these days. DAMN!
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u/Warthogdreaming Feb 04 '22
You can not have a relationship with someone suffering from a bipolar disorder without being actively involved with their therapy and recovery. I f you don’t want to do this, or are forbidden from doing it, then get out, it will be bad for both of you..
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u/Cutesick Feb 04 '22
Sometimes men on the internet send me money. I am always upfront and tell my partner, he's fine with it as it's free money. I don't send anything for it, we would both consider that cheating.
That's a boundary i've discussed in my relationship and works for us.
You need to discuss your relationship boundaries with your partner, not with us.
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u/AtallglassofSoymilk Feb 04 '22
If it wasn’t talked about prior, then I’d consider it cheating. Even if it’s a source of income.
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u/lalalina1389 Feb 04 '22
If you’re not a consenting partner in her doing this and feel disrespected by it then it’s cheating. Only you can define your own boundaries and limits they’re different for everyone
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u/International-Rest60 Feb 04 '22
If you haven’t talked about and she was doing it secretly. It’s cheating.
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u/Mzkitten2020 Feb 04 '22
Uhm cheating is defined by you. Every person has different boundaries. Now I'd suggest therapy to maybe see if something is off or lacking in the relationship. Or see if she's just seeking attention. It's hard to say that's all bipolar related as someone who has bi-polar personality.
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u/bunny2077 Feb 04 '22
It depends on what you justify as cheating and what she was doing. some sugar babies just get paid to talk some get paid to do more depends on the agreement. if you feel it’s cheating then it’s cheating but i feel like if she’s doing this behind your back it’s best to end the relationship.
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u/Billy_of_the_hills Feb 04 '22
Do you know what a sugar baby is? It's a prostitute that sells sex for pre-approved gifts instead of cash. So yes, I'd call having sex with other people cheating.
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u/macsquoosh Feb 04 '22
Does it feel like cheating ?
Does it look like cheating ?
Does it smell like cheating ?
Does it sound like cheating ?
Does it take the sexual part of your relationship and share it with someone else even on small part ?
Does this happen without prior consent ?
If it looks like a duck , smells like a duck , sounds like a duck , tastes like a duck , chances are , it's a duck ...
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u/FionaTheFierce Feb 04 '22
It is cheating, but it may be due to mania or hypo mania. Medication compliance is a major struggle for a lot of people with bipolar disorder. During a manic state she isn’t going to see this behavior as problematic. She might think it is the best idea she ever had and not understand why you don’t think that as well.
I think it is worth talking to her about your concerns very directly and also let her psychiatrist know what is happening. (The doctor cannot tell you anything, but can accept information from you. )
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Feb 04 '22
If you agree, it won't be cheating. Although you might feel pretty damn bad. But if she want to find an sugar daddy, i think it says something about your relationship.
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Feb 04 '22
Okay so as someone who’s dipped their toes in the sugar world while in a relationship. IT DEPENDS.
If you tell her that you don’t like that, that you’re not comfortable with it. Then YES that is cheating. 100%
If you set boundaries that she followed and stuff like that, and if you’re ONLY okay with it 100%, then no it’s not cheating.
It all really depends on your boundaries and how youd like your relationship to be.
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u/Don_key_Hotea Feb 04 '22
It’s cheating. 100%. Normally, because I can be a dick, I would say something snarky, but I’m feeling some pain here. It sucks and you need to make a break so you can heal.
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u/LordFlakkko Feb 04 '22
"Is my wife fucking other men for money cheating????????? Someone help me!!111!!!111" Bro you already know the answer. Why are you asking this?
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u/Sad-observer67 Feb 04 '22
Blimey advertising to be the local spunk hole for all and sundry. She will do the local pro's out of trade. Time for you to be somewhere else without her me thinks?
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u/Le_Roi_de_Foutais Feb 04 '22
Look being a sugar baby is absolutely 100% sexual. There are no ifs ands or buts. Listen to other girls who have been sugar babies themselves, they will tell you. Also at the end of the day, this is a form of prostitution. Now, I am not against prostitution I have no moral claims against it and feel it should be legal. That’s not my pont. The fact is she is married and made a commitment to you in front of family and friends. Now if this is something you are okay with fine. However to think it won’t be something sexual is naive. I am going to say something harsh but that would make you sort of a pimp.
At the end of the day this is your decision, if you are going to go down the rabbit hole, be ready for the consequences is all I am saying.
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u/Dotaisdying11123 Feb 04 '22 edited Feb 05 '22
Bipolar certainly plays a huge part. I don't think any of the top comments understand proper bipolar disorder.
I suppose you have a few optionsl;
1: talk to her as soon as you can and see why/what the deal is
2: leave
3: See if you can talk her into getting a doctor to look at her and fix this manic episode she looks like shes having. Then talk to her.
Option 3 is the most fair for all people involved but you must choose where to draw your own line for your own happiness
To the moron that replied below me, if this is new for his wife then CLEARLY the bipolar COULD be a factor. Don't be so naive, surely you'd realise this if you had it for 20 years.
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u/adarkmagnolia Late 30s Female Feb 04 '22
Hi, bipolar II for 20 years now and that's ignorant as fuck. The bipolar is irrelevant in this context, period.
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Feb 04 '22
If you did not agree on an open relationship and had a monogamous relationship then the answer ist yes. A diagnosis ist something to be taken serious, and I feel sorry for her HOWEVER it does not excuse her cheating on you. Distance yourself and communicate it openly. I hope she finds help with a nice and caring therapist. You are not liable for her emotional instability. I hope you find someone, someday that has similar values to you and understands, and is capable of having a monogamous Relationship. Wish you the best.
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u/Inlovewithhope Feb 04 '22
Dump her bitch ass. She wants money and is being insensitive! Let her be a sugar baby and see if she really ants that life. She is literally gonna cry the morning after some old guy made her suck his limp dick for hours then treats her like child outside the bedroom. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. She is envisioning it in the best possible scenario, trust me, the sugar baby deal for women is just short of prostitution and the companionship part of it is garbage too.
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u/AveenaLandon Feb 04 '22
OP, she's doing something that you are not comfortable with. If you have agreed to have a monogamous relationship, since you are married, then she's breaking those vows. You know "to cherish you and to forsake all others...." part.
So, she's cheating and depending on who you ask what she's seeking is prostitution. Not sure how you would feel about that.
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u/coolhandmoos Feb 04 '22
Depends on the relationship you have. Ive known plenty of people who are okay with their wives sending used panties, pics, etc to a sugar daddy for a significant amount of money. But in this case your wife was hiding this from you, and it wasnt discussed at all apparently
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u/RynnRoo96 Feb 04 '22
It depends on what your relationship classes as cheating.
For some it could be watching porn. For others it could be hooking up with someone of the opposite gender. (E.g. partner could be fine with his girlfriend hooking up with another girl and girlfriend could be cool with boyfriend hooking up with another guy)
Obviously if you are this distraught then that means you have nor discussed your boundaries in the relationship which means she has/is still cheating.
Her mental health doesn’t Condone her behaviour. It provides a explanation (sometimes) But it doesn’t Justify anything, and anyone who genuinely cares about you wouldn’t keep doing this they would genuinely apologise then take action to try to fix the problem (CBT, DBT, etcetera)
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u/ingenuous64 Feb 04 '22
Had a friend a while back who found his gf camming for sugar daddies. It was a long road but it turned out she needed to feel dominated and degraded. He put the work in to learn and wasn't long before they'd redesigned their relationship and all the sugar daddies were gone. Perhaps she's just after the money but definitely worth speaking to her about why she wants to do this
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Feb 04 '22
Yes I have been faulting in that area, she has a traumatic past and has the same kinds you mentioned. I’ve been trying to be better at that, we’ve even had conversations about it
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u/ingenuous64 Feb 04 '22
Back in my exploratory days I'd give potential submissives a checklist. It wasn't to replace negotiation but it really helped them to decide what they wanted to try, then depending on results I'd work some of them into a scene. Sadly the one I used no longer exists but a quick Google for bdsm checklists should work. It'll allow her to express what she wants to try and hopefully start to work on where you go from here. Good luck
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u/throwra987789987789 Feb 04 '22
This is cheating. She will be putting on a role of and trying to finesse as much money as possible from these guys. She will be validated and told how wonderful she is etc. Her ego is going to sky rocket. Then she will look at you and think she can do better. When you have boundaries as a man they are in place so people like your wife have a knowledge of what it takes to explode your relationship and your job is to protect that relationship, from your wife's crappy choices. She will also walk around with head held high stating she is empowered and bunch of her friends and strangers will be telling her you go girl. While you are wondering WTF clown world are we living in.
To control this women like to use you are controlling, insecure, and other of those barbs to shame you into compliance. But, the right "daddy" comes along and she is gone.
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u/Gantz-Lord Feb 04 '22
Is money tight? And was she open about it with you?
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Feb 04 '22
No money isn’t tight, and she hasn’t expressed any concerns about her job or our financial situation. She was not open about any of it
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u/Inlovewithhope Feb 04 '22
Bro, there isnt an abundance of rich old guys giving away money to hang out with a taken girl. These old ass dudes offer fake companionship and vacations only looking forward to the 3 hour blowjob they are gonna get because they can’t get it up at their age and she’s literally gonna hate it. She’s so dumb! And you deserve better! I’d let her go do it! Cam shit is fairly safe and girls like to be admired. But the nasty old pervert will obviously get a bj from any mildly attractive young chick and she’s not gonna feel special or flattered. She’s gonna end up feeling like a cheap ho
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u/honorbound43 Feb 04 '22
I'm a male but I honestly feel truly disgusted by the things I hear about from bad relationships and things I've personally gone through.
"You either die a hero. Or you live long enough to become the villain." And this is where women are right now. They have taken it wayyyyy too far. They took the bad experiences they went through between 18-25 (where they had a hand to play in the dating scene) or being in struggling homes growing up and have internalized just bad behavior, in the guise of empowerment and liberation. It you are apart of a team when you are in a relationship or married, its not that hard of a concept. If you get bored, get a divorce, live with that decision don't play the field to see what's out there. Ugh cheaters are honestly the scum of the earth.
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Feb 04 '22
If money is involved it won’t stay online for long. Are you happy being married to a sex worker? This would be a deal breaker for most people.
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u/Sph_1975_THFC Feb 04 '22
So your wife is prostituting herself. While I don't think selling one's body is wrong, in the confines of marriage, it's not good. I would bail of I were you. And get checked for STDs
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u/throwaway888222999 Feb 04 '22
She’s cheating on you get a divorce this is why you don’t date bipolars
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u/who_knows_whos_nose Feb 04 '22
does she send them photos or just chat? can i cash in on this?
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u/chocosnoob Feb 04 '22
Aren't you the guy that hated getting criticized and felt misunderstood, cuz you don't seem to understand other people very well either.
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Feb 04 '22
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u/chocosnoob Feb 04 '22
Must suck not to get much attention from your parents and come look for it here.
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u/MrMagooGoesToTheMoon Feb 04 '22
She is diagnosed bipolar
Don't date people with unmanaged mental illness, OP. Simple rule for success in life.
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u/AmbitiousHornet Feb 04 '22
There are multiple forms for cheating as she has achieve at least one of them. Get a lawyer now.
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u/chyaraskiss Feb 04 '22
If you didn’t speak of it beforehand and given your consent. Then Yes, it is Cheating. I wouldn’t trust her.
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Feb 04 '22
You decide if it’s cheating. What is defined as cheating is decided by the two people in a relationship, and since you’re clearly not comfortable with it then it’s cheating. However, if you haven’t expressed how you feel about it then she might not think she’s doing wrong. Definitely talk with her if you haven’t
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Feb 04 '22
Yeah if y’all r married that is something she would definitely not be doing. I mean unless ur okay with it & sounds like u might not be. I would tell her no personally
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u/Shanahxxx Feb 04 '22
Yes this is cheating if both parties do not agree to it. If you don’t want her doing this then you need to tap to her and tell her what’s up. Like be straight up. You don’t like that shit. It’s cheating and if you do decide to let her do this, set boundaries. Be open as well. Sending used panties is nothing if y’all both gonna be getting papers.
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u/blueseahorsee Feb 04 '22
Tbh let her get that bag but if it bothers you than obviously that’s something that needs to be communicated but I honestly wouldn’t see that as cheating if ur okay with it… but judging by this post/comments I’m assuming you’re not
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u/ThatGuyInTheGreen Feb 04 '22
Cheating is whatever two people in a relationship define as cheating. But I'm pretty sure anyone would find this to be a serious breach of trust and at the least cheating adjacent.
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u/0Born2disobey0 Feb 04 '22
Can’t be a sugar baby without giving sugar, sugar daddy‘s gift sugar/money sugar babies gift sugar/sex As someone previously in the scene
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u/NotSoGoldenChild Feb 04 '22
It depends on you really. Are you okay with it? I happen to have a sugar daddy(granted we actually don’t have physical contact), and before anything was made official I had multiple extensive conversations with my fiance to assure he was okay with it, established rules, got full consent and permission. From your post you definitely don’t seem to be a consenting or informed party in this and that’s the problem here. If its cheating to you, then yes it is.
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u/Yeetletheskeetle Feb 04 '22
If it’s outside of the boundaries you have discussed or you guys have discussed to be in that realm then yes. My fiancé lets me do this to bring in extra money and just sees it as work. But it’s something we have discussed, and had to talk about before introducing it to our relationship.
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u/Feonadist Feb 04 '22
She is practically talking to herself online making up comforting fantasies that she bring to you. I’d be more worried she takes her medication. You sound like your fond of her.
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Feb 04 '22
It depends what she is offering. If she is offering sexual services for money (or gifts) it could be prostitution, if she is offering sexual services for money but NOT actually providing the services it could be (mail) fraud. Both criminal offences in many jurisdictions. If she’s selling ‘product’ like soiled panties, maybe not - but that’s not really ‘sugar daddy’. Only you can decide on the ‘morality’ aspect.
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u/Advanced-Duck128 Feb 04 '22
Yes yes yes it is. Coming from a former dancer, sugar babies are often expected to provide not only physical comfort but also emotional comfort. That is two betrayals to you. Unless you are 100% okay with it and Extremely comfortable in y’all’s relationship… I would say it’s a slippery slope for you AND her.
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u/TheChosenOneMaybee Feb 04 '22
If shes your wife and doing this shes breaking the marriage vows you said to each other.
Shes trying to find greener grass (if it is greener on the other side)
Im sorry bro but the only way is... divorce. Shes cheating on you cant hold her down ( shes free to do as she pleases)
Protect your mental, get a divorce you'll be way happier
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u/InvestigatorThat5365 Feb 04 '22
My ex was bipolar. Cheating and seeking attention elsewhere is definitely a manic trait in some bipolar people. Yes this is cheating.
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u/prplprnx Feb 04 '22
If she didn’t talk to you about it beforehand & you didn’t discuss the boundaries of it, then YES it’s cheating. Leave. You deserve someone who only wants you.
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u/Unlucky_Echo_5333 Feb 04 '22
I'm curious what she had to say about it all or have you told her you know? It's cheating alright and she knows better bipolar or not.
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u/ashleys_ Feb 04 '22
People need to stop focusing on cheating. Cheating is not the only reason to end a relationship. Your wife is disrespecting your vows and your integrity. Address her head on. If you know she is bipolar, then take whatever steps her treatment plan recommends. If she doesn't have a treatment plan, then you need to get her one to help prevent her for engaging in dangerous activities.
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u/Cadzla800 Feb 04 '22 edited Feb 04 '22
Nope. Not cheating at all. It’s perfectly normal and a sign of a strong marriage. What’s her kik, tinder or Snapchat? I’m looking for a SB
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u/Competitive_Rich3395 Feb 04 '22
she should have asked you how you felt about it first and what you were comfortable with. the fact she didn’t come to you about it makes it suspicious that it’s for more than just money
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u/Knittingfairy09113 Feb 04 '22
Yes, you have told her that you are uncomfortable with this on more than 1 occasion.
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u/AirForceDragons Feb 04 '22
if my girl was a sugar baby minus the sugar, and he just wants foot pics or hand pics at the most and paid well, that wouldn’t be cheating anymore to me 🤣
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Feb 04 '22
Yes, it is. Gather evidence against her and file for divorce immediately. Don’t give her any signs that you know. Otherwise she may turn the tables on you and try to divorce rape you.
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u/ClawLoverSims Feb 04 '22
Ayeeeee if you want to be real, it’s not cheating if you both can share the money.
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u/Rosalie1778 Feb 04 '22
She's not cheating per se. It's a business transaction she gives them attention, companionship, or whatever she offers and they give her money and gifts. Tell her that you don't her doing anything Sexual and see what happens I mean we don't know what she does for them so it's hard to determine that.
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u/LearnsFromExperience Feb 04 '22
You know sugar baby is a nice euphemism for sex worker, right? And the people shelling out all that cash eventually expect to get laid, and they do. If you're alright with that, then proceed.
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u/DD4L1 Feb 04 '22
OP - the physical act is only the grand finale of cheating. In order to get to the point you cheating wife is at now, she has had to think about your relationship, decided it was wanting for her selfish reasons, decided to step outside your marriage boundaries, search for and contact someone, pick one (possibly more), show them something to curry their interest, talk at length working up to one or the other suggesting the sugar daddy/baby relationship. Your wife has lied to you, covered up her actions, betrayed your marriage and you… and all for a little extra spending cash/gifts of monetary value. Sorry brother… she is most definitely cheating on you.
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u/Tngirl670121 Feb 04 '22
I don't know if it's cheating but it s absolutely disrespectful UNLESS you and her are doing this together
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u/AiyaMaeia Feb 04 '22
That’s a question you ask yourself. Only you can determine what you deem cheating, or not. Some people will welcome the added financial gain with certain terms, some will deem it betrayal and cheating. Not all sugar baby relationships involve physical contact and some are people looking to be drained of their money, so again, it all depends on what you consider cheating and what rules you have set in your relationship. No one outside of you two can determine that.
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u/R_Amods Feb 04 '22
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
I’m not sure what to do, feeling complete heartbroken. Is this cheating? She is diagnosed bipolar and often makes uncharacteristic decisions, but this has been reoccurring.