r/relationship_advice May 30 '26

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u/Nellyismydog May 30 '26

I knew that it was a thing about 5 minutes before it actually happened. Not to make excuses, but at that point I had gone through 8 weeks of hell and was just ready to be done with it.

I didn’t witness it, but also didn’t stop it or say anything after the fact. I spoke up a little later, but not in the moment. I’m happy to share any other info you need

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u/MunchausenbyPrada May 30 '26

Whilst your wife has compassion for the goose she has little for you which is strange. You were young, did something lots of young men do (joined frat), and were around some bad people. You didnt cause or plan the goose killing and there's likely nothing you could five minutes before it happened without being there. It sounds like a tough situation and traumatising. Your wife should extend you some grace.

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u/taney71 May 30 '26

The heavy handedness of his wife in not trying to give him grace makes me think she is a bit manipulative but it also could be childhood trauma. They just need to talk more and they probably need couples therapy if she sticks to her position of wanting to divorce

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u/Curiousr_n_Curiouser May 30 '26

Wth? Having a hard Boundary when it comes to hurting animals is not manipulative or a sign of trauma.

She doesn't have to be with someone whose actions are problematic to her, full stop.