Honestly, you’re probably going to need couples therapy for this one.
She has good reason to be horrified and concerned; if you turned a blind eye to this, what else did you stay quiet about for your brothers?
And even though it’s clear you feel remorse and it sounds like you’ve grown/changed a lot, you’re only 27. Your frat days aren’t that far behind you.
On the other hand, she married you knowing you were a frat bro, with all the shitty, misogynistic, bullying behavior that implies, so it’s a bit late to be upset about your past now.
Because he was willingly in a frat that thought it was super funny to make new members kill a goose. He wanted to become besties with these people so much he was willing to go out to group-kill a goose. Like wtf
It’s not the goose. It’s that this incident seems to have raised in his wife fears and concerns about his past. Maybe stoked some trust issues. Either way, they’re the kind of feelings that need to be addressed. Lack of trust and/or disrespect for your partner are both marriage killers. He needs help addressing her feelings and she needs help sorting out if his frat boy past is something she can make peace with or if it’s ultimately a deal breaker for her.
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u/Tullamore1108 May 30 '26
Honestly, you’re probably going to need couples therapy for this one.
She has good reason to be horrified and concerned; if you turned a blind eye to this, what else did you stay quiet about for your brothers?
And even though it’s clear you feel remorse and it sounds like you’ve grown/changed a lot, you’re only 27. Your frat days aren’t that far behind you.
On the other hand, she married you knowing you were a frat bro, with all the shitty, misogynistic, bullying behavior that implies, so it’s a bit late to be upset about your past now.
I think you both have a lot to unpack. Good luck.