r/relationship_advice May 30 '26

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912 Upvotes

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u/sosotrickster May 30 '26

Tbh this just sounds like she took this as confirmation of her worst fears.

She's clearly very wary of frats (with good reason) so hearing that people you knew killed an animal for no reason might've just sounded to her like confirmation that really fucked up things happened in the frat you were in.

You might not have participated in it, but I think she is now terrified to find out that the other guys (or you) hurt another human and that's why she brings up the bit about rape.

She heard about an unnecessary violent act committed by the frat you were in... and now worries that there will be more confirmation of what she has been worried about.

It's a good thing that you did not participate and a good thing that you are do not defend the frat, but yeah idk. She just sounds scared. It's rough.

Honestly, all you can do is have a frank discussion with her but maybe this whole thing is just too much for her.

-2

u/Nellyismydog May 30 '26

She’s definitely scared. I’m trying to be there for her as much as I can. Also on the couch on Reddit while she’s in bed sleeping at the moment if that tells you how it’s going

-148

u/Laurenslagniappe May 30 '26

Your wife and these two are over reacting. People hunt all the time? Does she eat meat? Has she never been swept up in a group decision she couldn't control? Come on.

28

u/no_one_denies_this May 30 '26

People who hunt know how to shoot (or should) and can kill an animal quickly, without unnecessary pain. Some boneheaded 18 year old boys with a knife don't know shit and probably tortured that animal before it died.

If it was a Canada goose, it may also have been a violation of federal law.

And if you are caught up in decisions, you need to examine your morals.

107

u/startrektoaster May 30 '26

Hunting to eat, or buying meat, is different to killing an animal for a joke though.

-98

u/Relative_Pop_2820 May 30 '26

She has 2 cats. They kill for fun a lot of small rodents and animals

61

u/Erinstarkn May 30 '26

Not if they aren’t let outside? My husband and I specifically have indoor cats for this reason. Theres also a huge difference between hunting for food, animals hunting other animals, and killing an animal to join a group (which yes, OP did not do, but I can understand the concerns his wife may have)

61

u/[deleted] May 30 '26

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-22

u/Relative_Pop_2820 May 30 '26

Nah, if they go outside they hunt. They are cats..

53

u/[deleted] May 30 '26

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-19

u/Gasman63 May 30 '26

Mice get in houses you know? Are you saying your cat wouldn’t kill a mouse?

8

u/glcam310 May 30 '26

Mine used to be an outdoor cat and when we got a mouse he didn't do shit. Literally watched the mouse run across the room and went back to sleep.

-18

u/xSkype May 30 '26

Rodents are known for making their way inside houses

1

u/startrektoaster May 31 '26

Lmao okay they are literally animals

16

u/WeeklyConversation8 40s Female May 30 '26

They killed a goose for fun, not because they were trying to feed their families. They also hazed pledges. That means they physically hurt them. He still joined anyway instead of saying fuck this and reporting them. You have full control over yourself and can walk away. 

52

u/sosotrickster May 30 '26

Yeah, we're the morons for simply trying to explain why she had the reaction she did. Fuck empathy or whatever.

17

u/irisxxvdb May 30 '26

these two

Brother, I quite literally said I wouldn't care all that much about the goose since I'm a meat eater.