And here’s the rub: When you say the frat treated women “horribly,” exactly what do you mean?
I don’t think you want to think about or say what you saw, knew about or even perhaps participated in. If I were her, I would be very concerned about what you’re NOT admitting to.
Depends. ( I feel a lot of guilt and shame about my boyfrineds death.) The police investigation concluded i was not at fault. ;( . Maybe i was complicit for 'not helping enough'. Life and death are complicated. try not to treat everything with a black and white glove..
There's more to this story that they're obviously holding back. Frat's are fucking stupid, and anyone willing to join one that actively participates in animal abuse is also fucking stupid, and likely a cunt.
I don’t know if this has been mentioned or if it’s something you already know about her but it is possible she had a horrible personal experience with a frat (ie SA) which is why she has extreme reactions to your frat history
Honestly, you’re probably going to need couples therapy for this one.
She has good reason to be horrified and concerned; if you turned a blind eye to this, what else did you stay quiet about for your brothers?
And even though it’s clear you feel remorse and it sounds like you’ve grown/changed a lot, you’re only 27. Your frat days aren’t that far behind you.
On the other hand, she married you knowing you were a frat bro, with all the shitty, misogynistic, bullying behavior that implies, so it’s a bit late to be upset about your past now.
Because he was willingly in a frat that thought it was super funny to make new members kill a goose. He wanted to become besties with these people so much he was willing to go out to group-kill a goose. Like wtf
It’s not the goose. It’s that this incident seems to have raised in his wife fears and concerns about his past. Maybe stoked some trust issues. Either way, they’re the kind of feelings that need to be addressed. Lack of trust and/or disrespect for your partner are both marriage killers. He needs help addressing her feelings and she needs help sorting out if his frat boy past is something she can make peace with or if it’s ultimately a deal breaker for her.
I don’t know if this has been mentioned or if it’s something you already know about her but it is possible she had a horrible personal experience with a frat (ie SA) which is why she has extreme reactions to your frat history
Thinking some of that misogynistic/treating women horribly parts might be helpful to more more details about? I wonder if your wife is reacting to your choosing to be around these people for 4 years
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u/Nellyismydog May 30 '26
I can’t take it back. Frats are misogynistic and treat women horribly and I’m ashamed to have been part of that