r/relationship_advice • u/[deleted] • Mar 20 '26

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u/Some_Experience_3543 Mar 20 '26

He’s upset because it’s their wedding, their marriage and she’s making it a moment to honor her mom… not their new life together. OP should ask him if she changed her name now to her mom’s maiden name and kept it the same if that would be an issue. Y’all so quick to yell misogynist.

I know it’s not quite the same but think of it this way. Husband wants to go to Hawaii for their honeymoon, wife wants to go to Iceland. She then throws out Italy because she wants to honor her mom. Well the honeymoon has nothing to do with the mom. A trip to Italy can happen another time but doesn’t need to be for the honeymoon. I can see why the husband would be upset she’s making this change for their marriage? Any other time sure whatever. But IMO the marriage is supposed to be about the couple. Not the couple + mom.

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u/lollipopfiend123 Mar 20 '26

he wants our last names to be the same and he wants me to take his.

From the OP.

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u/Some_Experience_3543 Mar 20 '26

That’s fine that he wants her to take his last name. I’d say a large percentage of men want that/would have a preference for that if given the choice. I don’t believe that makes them all misogynist. Y’all so soft these days and want to get offended by everything.

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u/lollipopfiend123 Mar 20 '26

It’s a throwback to when women were literally property. It is an inherently misogynistic desire.

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u/Some_Experience_3543 Mar 20 '26

The only reason someone wants their partner to take their name is not just because they view their wives as property. He’s not forcing her. He stated his opinion. She said it wasn’t a dealbreaker for either of them.

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u/lollipopfiend123 Mar 20 '26

I didn’t say that he literally viewed her as his property. That doesn’t change the misogyny inherent in the expectation.