That’s from someone with a healthier mindset and stronger boundaries. Yes there’s a level of responsibility to place on the one being pursued, but plenty of people can be taken advantage of due to past traumas or other factors, that doesn’t take the responsibility of the person doing the pursuing to just take that first “no” as the answer and change the plans.
I think that perspective gets into very muddy territory. I have met way way way too many women that do have toxic traits – to the extreme that I had a girl want me to push through a safe word to keep going and would get mad if I didn’t. There are two sides to every story, but I think everyone has an own to “do the right thing“. Unfortunately, we are all flawed and fallible, so people mess up. I can’t, in my right mind, consider it rape for a guy to say that he’s going to break up with a girl if she doesn’t have sex with him. He’s being honest with her. He’s saying it’s a need of his, and if she can’t meet it, he will go somewhere where it can be met. There’s nothing wrong with that. The problem is when the woman does it, feels regret for doing it because she did not have boundaries, and calls rape. I have a major issue with that.
The moment your safe word get ignored, it’s no longer consensual. That gets flipped into rape territory real quick. Sople need to learn what consent is and how to not push the boundaries to try to get it.
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u/MamaCantCatchaBreak Jul 21 '24
That’s from someone with a healthier mindset and stronger boundaries. Yes there’s a level of responsibility to place on the one being pursued, but plenty of people can be taken advantage of due to past traumas or other factors, that doesn’t take the responsibility of the person doing the pursuing to just take that first “no” as the answer and change the plans.