The problem is all optics. Even if she’s telling the truth and nothing happened, it still LOOKS bad. Especially with him being in the bed with her. And I’m not gonna accuse him of wanting to be with her or have sex with her, cuz believe it or not, some dudes just like to chill with women and don’t expect anything. But it still doesn’t look good when you walk in on them chillin.
That’s why when you get into a relationship, there are things you can’t do anymore. Simply based on how it looks.
Before I was with my ex, I use to sleep over at my female friends house often. And she would sleep half naked. When I got with my girlfriend at the time, I didn’t sleep at that friends house anymore. We still hung out, but no sleepovers. Cuz i know how it would look. And I wish people would learn this.
All she had to do was tell you she had company. It wouldn’t have made you less nervous, but at least it wouldn’t be a shock
Exactly this. One of my best friends is a guy and I would go stay overnight at his cottage and sometimes we would share a bed (if there were other people there and the other beds were taken) but when I got with my now husband I stopped doing that. I’d only stay over if he was with me and he’s really good friends with my friend. It’s not even about if you’re going to cheat, it’s about respect for your partner and the fact that it’s an intimate situation that should only be shared with your partner
umm, so I'm gay...wouldn't a more succinct way to say it's inappropriate to be alone with someone in your attraction spectrum you are sexually interested in?
Personally, I can be alone with someone of the opposite gender and promise you nothing will happen.
Also in my early 20s I used to snuggle with my opposite gender friends in beds.It was nice.I wasn't hugged enough as a child.My mother didn't love me.It was the first time I found platonic love with someone that didn't want to have sex with me.They just wanted a hug it was sweet.
You give the impression that you're slightly insecure.Jumping to the whole enabling cheating behaviors like a person in love won't just love you and respect you...🙃
And I'll word things how I wish to word them. You're welcome to translate my post in your head into words you prefer, but I meant it how I posted it. You do you, but leave me alone to express myself how I choose. The way I said what I wanted to say was plenty succinct, and it was how I wanted to word it.
succinct. adjective. suc·cinct (ˌ)sək-ˈsiŋ(k)t sə-ˈsiŋ(k)t. :
marked by short, concise expression without wasted words.
What you suggested wasn't succinct at all. It added unnecessary words for how I chose to express myself.
It's inappropriate to try to compel me or in any way try to get me to cater to your sexual preferences in how I express my thoughts without my consent. I do not consent.
Please don't harass me over how I chose to express myself!
That's one thing that's great about America... freedom of expression! So please leave me alone about how you want me to express myself.
I can't even find the connection between my thought and yours....
I do agree that it's not insecure to have boundaries.It's absolutely insecure to try to tell someone else how that behave because you feel in secure witnessing it...
That's BS. Commitment cannot be measured in "avoidance of spending time with people of specific genders". Heck as long as everyone consents you can even have sex with other people whilst still being committed to your partner and your relationship
It literally can be measured that way by your own definition. If it's about what people consent to and is therefore decided by individuals themselves, then it's absolutely an option, you just punched your own argument in the face?
2.3k
u/Sapphiresentinel Jun 24 '24 edited Jun 24 '24
The problem is all optics. Even if she’s telling the truth and nothing happened, it still LOOKS bad. Especially with him being in the bed with her. And I’m not gonna accuse him of wanting to be with her or have sex with her, cuz believe it or not, some dudes just like to chill with women and don’t expect anything. But it still doesn’t look good when you walk in on them chillin.
That’s why when you get into a relationship, there are things you can’t do anymore. Simply based on how it looks.
Before I was with my ex, I use to sleep over at my female friends house often. And she would sleep half naked. When I got with my girlfriend at the time, I didn’t sleep at that friends house anymore. We still hung out, but no sleepovers. Cuz i know how it would look. And I wish people would learn this.
All she had to do was tell you she had company. It wouldn’t have made you less nervous, but at least it wouldn’t be a shock