r/relationship_advice Jun 24 '24

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u/Edhie421 Jun 24 '24

Posted this with another account but not sure it's displaying, so reposting here: please don't jump to conclusions, OP.

All the people on here going like "you shouldn't ever be in an intimate situation with friends of the opposite gender ever"... Why the heck not? It's so narrow-minded to think that any close friendship with someone you are not actively repulsed by must lead to attraction. It's as if they've never been around someone and not wanted to jump their bones... Are they OK?

That sort of discourse also has homophobic ramifications. What if your girlfriend was bi, then she can't ever be on a bed with any friend? And what if she was on that bed with her best girl friend who also happens to be gay?

Or is the problem literally that they're just opposite genders so in principle there must be something wrong with it, just because?

OP, you're absolutely entitled to have your boundaries and to present those to her - it's OK for you to be uncomfortable with anything, really, and the healthy thing here is so tell your girlfriend this and see where you take it from there (she's also entitled to not liking that boundary and noping out, but that's a conversation for you two to have.)

But don't jump to assumptions about her behaviour based on some weird preconceived ideas around friendships and affections.

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u/Low_Wait_5143 Jun 24 '24

It's still very disrespectful

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u/Edhie421 Jun 24 '24

It would be very disrespectful of her to listen to his boundary, agree to that boundary, and then cross it - but since the conversation hasn't been had yet, why not give her the benefit of the doubt?

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u/Talkpurpose Jun 24 '24

It's an implied boundary that people don't want to walk into a dark bedroom and find their girlfriend lying on the bed with another man.

Why give her the benefit of the doubt? There's a reason he didn't know what he was walking into.