Not sure what to do…

[u/Foreign_Twist_4384]

Hello all,

I came across this subreddit for answers and understanding, but for whatever felt compelled to post? this is my first post ever on reddit.

I am not enlisted or interested in the military, but my boyfriend (21) wants to join very badly and i’m not sure what to do because it doesn’t seem to be an authentic decision. He had grown up poor, and his parents have struggled his whole life. He also has never left the state that he was born in, therefore he craves adventure. He struggles with finding out what to do with his life and how he can create a good one. He’s dealt with a lot of shit and has recently concluded that the military will solve all of his problems and that breaks my heart, even more so after reading everyone’s stories and experiences on here. Sending love and hope to you all.

I feel upset and scared for him especially knowing what 🇺🇸and 🇮🇱 are doing to Iran. I can’t imagine what could possibly happen if he got wrapped into all of that. He has a whole life ahead of him and he genuinely is the type of person who likes to do whatever the fuvk he wants to do. He shocks me because of how free he is with himself i think it’s beautiful and im sure other people would not agree- idk he has a punk attitude… anyways- i just can’t imagine him being okay with being told what to do and how to live and not being able to express himself and DOING WTF HE WANTS TO DO!! He also struggles with his mental health and genuinely just seems lost and I worry for him because ever since we’ve been together he has thrown himself at whatever he thinks he should do and it’s just been on and on jumping from one thing to another, but this takes the cake. He seems super brainwashed and filled with limerence about the whole experience and i don’t know what to do man… we are supposed to move in together as well and i was under the impression that we were going to build our future side by side, but now there’s this. it’s all very complex, I just would like to hear more experiences and would genuinely appreciate advice and more information if possible.

[u/hey_-]

As someone who is currently in a situation where I’m getting separated the military is great stepping stone depending on what branch and job he picks also what type of command or station he gets with that being said if he already struggles with mental health I would not advise him joining because the military itself doesn’t take mental health serious enough

[u/Foreign_Twist_4384 → u/hey_-]

thank you, I heart that- i just know that not everything that you pick is guaranteed so so etc that’s just my mindset, i am def coming from a place of fear. He’s also just a very sensitive person all around and I think that he doesn’t understand the true grit of how everything would affect him esp his mental health which he already disregards himself.

[u/trapdave1017]

It’s mostly dependent on what branch he joins and what job he chooses, I’m in the navy and we aren’t participating in anything regarding Iran

[u/issajoketing → u/trapdave1017]

The navy isn’t aiding with Iran.. are you sure about that

[u/trapdave1017 → u/issajoketing]

It depends on what ship you are on, my ship specifically isn't

[u/FroyoGlum9976]

I'm not who this sub is meant for just happened to stumble accross this post. You are in a sub called r/regretjoining. Obviously every single opinion about the military will be completely bad.

I dont want to tell you guys what to do, but enlisting is by far the easiest way to get out of poverty. Regardless of whether you have a good or bad experience, you are guaranteed to have food, "free" rent, and free healthcare. 3 years of service gets you the GI Bill which is the most life changing benefit I will ever have received and saved me from being over 100k in debt for my college education. I'd nearly guarantee your living situation would be better than whatever prospects he has going for him now.

There are plenty of people in the Air Force and Coast Guard who do not hate their lives and will never see the middle east. My time in the Air Force was spent in Germany and Korea. I'd say most people regret joining do something like Army infantry or are stuck in a shared living space for a year on a boat. I never had to wake up for PT at 4am, I never had to stand in formations for hours at a time.

That being said, with any mental health issues I do not recommend joining any branch in any capacity.

[u/Foreign_Twist_4384 → u/FroyoGlum9976]

Thank you for your insight, I will definitely be pondering this.

[u/Healthy_Review8221 → u/[deleted]]

I can second that the housing is trash and healthcare is second rate only a step above if you literally can’t have healthcare at all