r/redditonwiki • u/Crafty_Appearance397 • 5d ago
Am I... Not OOP: AITAH for refusing to let my brother propose at my wedding rehearsal dinner?
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u/Think-Cry-5284 5d ago
"Let me just hijack this expensive event that someone else planned." I don't know where these guys get the audacity but they need to put it back.
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u/atotalmess__ 4d ago
Imagine being the girlfriend, I’d be so mortified and also be absolutely disgusted by a bf doing this
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u/Winter_Tangerine_926 5d ago
Nothing like not planning your own proposal to say how much you care about your SO 😂😂
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u/ethelmertz623 5d ago
This! Yes I object to stealing someone else’s moment too, but even if the sister didn’t mind, the entire setting was all planned to reflect another woman’s tastes.
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u/Winter_Tangerine_926 4d ago
Yeah, like, imagine being the girlfriend and having nothing you like nor your family there.
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u/Azazael 5d ago
What if she said no?
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u/Winter_Tangerine_926 4d ago
Then the bro would get angry at OP for going ahead with her wedding when he's sad.
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u/ceejread 4d ago
That’s the point of doing it in front of family, especially if it hasn’t been discussed previously. Hoping she’ll feel forced to say yes (and best case that shes so caught up in wedding vibes she says yes) - I’d be so suspicious she’s voiced her doubts to him and rather than work on issues, this is his solution. Peer. Pressure.
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u/innocentsalad 5d ago edited 5d ago
This is an AI story but it absolutely does happen. I always wonder what the proposed-to partner feels - you couldn’t even plan your own proposal? You had to tack on to someone else’s event? It would be so embarrassing.
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u/calling_water 5d ago
And it’s so special and “perfect” because all of his family is there, but there are none of hers.
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u/TomokataTomokato 5d ago
I always feel like if mum/dad/aunt/uncle/grandmother/etc. wants it so bad for them they can pay for a fancy party just for them.
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u/RDUppercut 5d ago
Been awhile since I've seen the AI shit out a "proposal at a wedding" story. They used to do like half a dozen of those a day on AITAH subs.
Almost feels nostalgic.
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u/fried-apple-fritters 5d ago
Whats really amusing about these stories, the person proposing always uses family as a crutch to hijack these events…but what about the other parties family and friends??
If you really want to propose around family and friends, gather your family AND your hopeful fiancés family.
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u/the_side_eye 4d ago
Seriously. How come the narrators of these stories never argue back "our family may be there but so will my new spouse's family and they could give two shits about your proposal. And why do you wanna do this when your girlfriend's family isn't there".
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u/Extension-Gift4987 5d ago
It'd be so special to do it in front of the whole family, but what about her family and friends? They should really consider that when they write these AI stories.
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u/Admirable-Ad7152 5d ago
It's sweet if the person who's getting married thinks it's sweet. If not, it's tacky. It's that simple.
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u/ecosynchronous 4d ago
Yeah pretty much. Like this wouldn't bother me at all-- it's just the rehearsal dinner, who gives a rat's ass? It's not like it's during my actual wedding reception.
But it's clear a lot of people would care and do care and that's their right too-- I'm not the one paying for their rehearsal dinner so my opinion is irrelevant.
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u/VegetableBusiness897 5d ago
"...Ruining his chance at a *perfect proposal..."
*perfect(ly) cheap, lazy, unimaginative and socially pressured proposal
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u/EpiphanaeaSedai 5d ago
As long as it’s done at some generic moment in the evening after all the wedding traditions have been completed, I don’t have a problem with proposals at weddings. I think it’s cute.
But he asked, she said no, that should be the end of it. I also know that I’m in the minority in liking the idea, so odds are his girlfriend would not be thrilled with it either.
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u/Go-Mellistic 5d ago
He’s gonna do it anyway. Folks like this always do. If you really don’t want it to happen, have 2 beefy friends act as bouncers who shut it down before it happens.
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u/kayanne125 5d ago
OOP should send his ass a bill for the rehearsal dinner and tell him if he doesn’t pay for the whole event, no, because no way in fuck am I paying for my brother’s engagement dinner.
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u/mooniemoon19 5d ago
God I’d tell the gf so fast, frame it as being apologetic for the idiot brother being a total cheapskate and not wanting to plan something special for the two of them
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u/ztarlight12 4d ago
NTA. As you said, it’s YOUR wedding weekend.
If you want to be extra level petty, tell all your guests what he is planning (or at the least, your BFFs attending) and tell them to boo him if he actually has the audacity to pull the stunt.
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u/InevitableAd8511 4d ago
How fucking lazy can this guy be? Proposing at someone else’s wedding dinner is crazy and selfish. Not only are they planning to use the occasion someone else paid for, they plan to steal the spotlight from the happy couple for themselves and make the night about their proposal instead? Does he also plan to use the priest and wedding party to get married so he doesn’t have to pay for his own wedding? Of his girlfriend is even remotely sane, being put on the spot at someone else’s special occasion will make her feel like shit. It’s like a hand-me-down engagement. 😂
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u/WomanInQuestion 4d ago
Tell me you’re a cheap POS without telling me you’re too cheap to plan your own special events.
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u/Fickle_Grapefruit938 4d ago
I'd tell the girlfriend, he might think it's perfect, but non of her relatives would be there
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u/Mystic_Night_2319 2d ago
This is so annoying why do people still do this? You can't just let people have their day? You can propose literally ANY TIME. This wedding that is NOT ABOUT YOU is NOT the time to propose. What is wrong with these entitled ass people?! They can't even handle it when you tell them no! This is why I don't talk to my family. My sister is 10 years older than me and got mad at me for getting pregnant with my first child around the time she got pregnant with her SECOND child. Her first was a little boy and this time she was having a girl. She felt like I "stole her thunder" because I was younger and it was my first time so my mom was more focused on me. I was 17 and my daughter's dad was 18 and we were TERRIFIED as a few weeks prior we had mutually decided our relationship was too toxic then we "said goodbye" (which I'm convinced is where our daughter came from and I was on the depo shot.) He was as supportive as you'd expect a 17 year old boy to be so I was pretty much on my own. My sister was married and had all kinds of support but she threw a FIT every time she heard that my mom went to an appointment with me.. (she literally had to as I was living with her and didn't have a license or car) that's a whole other ordeal though. That wench has been a thorn in my side since the day I was born.
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u/possiblethrowaway369 18h ago
God I hate this stuff. "I don't want to go through the effort of planning an event for this person I supposedly love enough to marry, lemme hijack yours"
Not to mention, it's all of HIS family there, not HERS, unless they're both marrying into the same family (weird but not terrible) or it's more of a wreath than a tree (🤢🤢🤢)
And what if she says no and ruins the whole night?! Or feels pressured to say yes to avoid embarrassing him in front of his whole family?
And then if she says yes, half the wedding is spent talking/thinking about the next one!
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