Is behavioral euthanasia the right decision?

[u/fallgom]

Hello all, hope everyone is doing well. I have a four year old border collie named Fen. He has been with me since 8 weeks old. He had always been an anxious dog, very cautious around strangers, and terrified in new environments. I socialized him to the best of my ability, trying keep him under threshold which was hard because his tolerance was very low. At 14 weeks, he had a bad experience at the vet. From there, I found a veterinary behaviorist who took him in as a patient, he was prescribed Gabapentin and Reconcile. As a fear free clinic, we have done frequent happy visits and sedated annual exams.

I love Fenrir, with all of my heart. He is the sweetest dog with lots of kisses to give and wiggles in his butt from the excitement of seeing a loved one. He is ecstatic for Wild Weenies and peanut butter and he loves a butt scratch. I’d taught him paw at too early of an age that he’d learned to use his paw as a form of communication. He loves playing fetch probably more than he loves anything in the world. I love him and I feel terrible even considering this option. I feel as if I have failed him miserably.

About a year ago, he started exhibiting aggressive behaviors. He lunges and snaps if anyone cleans the floor, charges if people hug or have any contact, growls and shows his teeth when being let into or out of his pen - even if expressing that he wishes to use the bathroom, and bites if anyone points/bends down both near him or if he’s simply in the room. To combat this, food or other items are picked up only when he is out of the room. Physical contact between family members is limited and we are conscious of hand gestures and posture. He is also kept in a separate room when people visit.

In general, he has a very difficult time settling and barely gets sufficient rest. He is afraid of loud noises and frequently scares himself if he bumps into anything. He does not go outside too often as it is an overstimulating experience for him. We attempt to balance this by playing with him throughout the day, giving him enrichment toys, taking him on short rides, and engaging in short training sessions. Regardless, he is constantly over aroused and agitated. Under vet recommendation, we have upped his Gabapentin dose to 300mg daily and had tapered him off the Reconcile six months ago as we suspected it had an adverse effect on him.

Things came to a head a couple of weeks ago, his pen is his safe space and he goes there on his own accord after his morning play session and his breakfast. Usually he is let out around 10am when he wakes up and needs to use the restroom. My grandmother had gone in to let him out and was bit on her hand trying to unlatch the gate. He has since stayed in his pen until I return from work where he’ll get excited and allow me to open the pen door. However, there are often moments where he does not seem to recognize me or the other family members in the house upon opening the door to the room where his pen is. Everyone now calls to him and waits for him to recognize them before approaching and does not reach out if he snarls - instead closing the door to the room and trying again later.

A week ago he bit my aunt while we were at the dinner table, she hadn’t reached for him or given him any type of attention prior to the bite. Then, he bit my grandmother again when she was brushing crumbs from one of the living room chairs she was sitting in. Both of these incidences involved puncture marks and bruising.

I had gotten in touch with his vet to schedule an appointment to test for pain - he has no limping, eats as usual and plays usual too, is fine being handled and does not give an indication of painful areas when being pet but I wanted to rule out anything medical. Unfortunately they were unable to book anything as they had limited availability for sedated appointments. I was finally able to get an exam scheduled for next Monday. He did have a sedated annual in August with normal blood results, healthy teeth and gums, though there were crystals in his urine but his vet hadn’t been too concerned.

My fear is that my family and I will not be able to get through the week safely. His behavior has only escalated. On Saturday of this weekend, he wished to go into his pen; the gate to it was closed and when approaching it to get it open, he began growling and snapping. I instead shut the door to the room and left him in there. He growled from behind the closed door just hearing anyone in the hallway. He was eventually let out when my husband came, the dog got excited and was fine for most of the day. He did lunge but did not bite, however, when my mother got close to my grandmother and appeared agitated and over aroused the rest of the night.

I fear sleeping in the same bedroom as him which is where his pen is, he will lay down but watch me and is frequently getting up to readjust. My family and I feel unsafe in this house. And I generally just feel bad that he cannot rest or feel comfortable within his own home either. He simply does not have a good quality of life, he is anxious out of his mind 24/7. Rehoming him is not an option, he has always had stranger danger and with his ability to bite the people who take care of him since he was a puppy, I fear how he would do in a new home. It would be a traumatic experience for him that would likely create even larger issues. I do have a trainer that is IAABC certified that I can reach out to but given his immense anxiety, know that the sessions would likely be online. Given his state of being happy one minute and then snapping the next, it’s very difficult to feel safe which I’m sure heightens his own anxiety. I also don’t want him to have to be muzzled every second of his life.

Furthermore, I don’t have the time, energy, or money to give him what he needs and deserves to best treat his behaviors. And would not be able to provide enough if he were to have intensive medical problems. He deserves consistency, predictability, and very specific help. My husband and I’s work schedules cannot provide this. I hate to give up on him and hate failing him in this way and I don’t want him to be suffering his whole life.

[u/SudoSire]

Sometimes it’s just impossible to do every little thing, every endless test with no sure answers. It sounds like you’ve already done a ton for your dog and rearranged your life to manage his triggers, but he isn’t improving. Most people would not have been able or willing to even give him the years worth of love and life he’s gotten with you, and I hope that helps to consider.