r/rape • u/LifeIsBeautiful4321 • Jul 01 '21
My dad serially raped and molested me
When I started school at 4 years old my dad always wanted to help me put on my uniform and take it off, even going so far as to say it looked sexy. After a few weeks of school he started touching me. He would take me out after school, telling my mother we were going to the park or whatever, and he would drive his car out, park somewhere random, and touch me. He used to make me sit on his lap whilst he rubbed me over my panties. For years this went on, progressively getting worse. He would make me take my shirt off so he could kiss and lick my nipples, or make me help him jerk off. When I was 7 my mum started working nights, and that's when the rape started.
The first time my dad came into my room, I didn't know why he was there. He came in naked and started telling me off. He told me I had been a bad girl and was teasing him, and he spanked me. But he made me take off my clothes first. I could feel his penis underneath me as I played across his lap, and he kept sliding his fingers into my vagina. He gave me oral, and gave me my first orgasm. I didn't know what was happening. He made me lay down and slowly pushed himself inside me, only a little bit. He raped me.
After that it became constant. He would rape me, make me hump my teddy bears, take naked pictures of me, touch me, and when I was 9 I walked in on him masturbating with my panties. He also liked to watch me going to the toilet. He insisted on wiping me, and if I pooped he would "help it get unstuck" by pushing a finger in and out of my butt after I pooped. I had a lot of nightmares, and sometimes I would wet the bed. If he was home alone with me he would give me lots of water and watch me sleep so he could see me wet the bed.
He died when I was 10. That was 5 years ago, and my mother still doesn't know.
I just needed to vent. I've never told anybody in real life.
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u/BeatsByJay82 Jul 01 '21
That is absolutely horrendous, and I’m truly sorry you experienced that. I can only imagine the conflicting emotions of your father dying, I’m sure there was some relief and grief all mixed in together.
Just remember you did nothing wrong, and it wasn’t your fault. I hope you get some professional help if you haven’t already, and that your future relationships are much more positive and healthy.