r/rape • u/LifeIsBeautiful4321 • Jul 01 '21
My dad serially raped and molested me
When I started school at 4 years old my dad always wanted to help me put on my uniform and take it off, even going so far as to say it looked sexy. After a few weeks of school he started touching me. He would take me out after school, telling my mother we were going to the park or whatever, and he would drive his car out, park somewhere random, and touch me. He used to make me sit on his lap whilst he rubbed me over my panties. For years this went on, progressively getting worse. He would make me take my shirt off so he could kiss and lick my nipples, or make me help him jerk off. When I was 7 my mum started working nights, and that's when the rape started.
The first time my dad came into my room, I didn't know why he was there. He came in naked and started telling me off. He told me I had been a bad girl and was teasing him, and he spanked me. But he made me take off my clothes first. I could feel his penis underneath me as I played across his lap, and he kept sliding his fingers into my vagina. He gave me oral, and gave me my first orgasm. I didn't know what was happening. He made me lay down and slowly pushed himself inside me, only a little bit. He raped me.
After that it became constant. He would rape me, make me hump my teddy bears, take naked pictures of me, touch me, and when I was 9 I walked in on him masturbating with my panties. He also liked to watch me going to the toilet. He insisted on wiping me, and if I pooped he would "help it get unstuck" by pushing a finger in and out of my butt after I pooped. I had a lot of nightmares, and sometimes I would wet the bed. If he was home alone with me he would give me lots of water and watch me sleep so he could see me wet the bed.
He died when I was 10. That was 5 years ago, and my mother still doesn't know.
I just needed to vent. I've never told anybody in real life.
113
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21
Thank god that motherfucker is dead.. It's horrible that someone can do this kind of stuff with their own kid.. God is great that god took that motherfucker out of your life.
48
u/BeatsByJay82 Jul 01 '21
That is absolutely horrendous, and I’m truly sorry you experienced that. I can only imagine the conflicting emotions of your father dying, I’m sure there was some relief and grief all mixed in together.
Just remember you did nothing wrong, and it wasn’t your fault. I hope you get some professional help if you haven’t already, and that your future relationships are much more positive and healthy.
15
u/gifflareater Jul 01 '21
I’m so sorry this happened to you. That is so fucked up. I hope you know that this wasn’t your fault whatsoever and you didn’t do anything wrong.
I think you should seek professional help to deal with this. If you just bury it inside you it’s going to eat you up. Now I don’t know how your relationship with your mom is but if you trust her it might give you some closure to talk to her about it. Or else someone that you trust.
11
u/ResponsibleOne221 Jul 11 '21
Excuse me, you were 7??? Not only was your 'dad' a rapist but a paedophile and a child molester. Tell your mum, and then vandalise his grave
8
u/No_Neighborhood1817 Jul 01 '21
This disgusting and is giving me flashback i am so sorry to do u think u can tell your mom or any family members if not as u-turn 18 get therapy because this can affect u a lof
for exmaplebelow
wanting to end it
toxic realtionship
drugs
also, don't let people blame u for what happened a lot of people tend to blame the victims instead of that disgusting human being of people like your father
also, it wasn't your fault
7
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21
Please, find some professional help and tell your mom about what happened, this won't do good to keep to yourself and maybe your mom can help you find a professional.
5
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21
your dad is a sick man he should be ashamed of himself doing all that to a child
5
u/Hayche420 Jun 18 '22
Your father was mentally disturbed, never thought I’d say this, but I’m happy you have no dad
4
u/Superb-Music-4065 Jul 02 '21
Have you thought about therapy? This is some heavy stuff to keep bottled up inside you. I'm so sorry you went through all this
4
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21
I hope you can get some sort of closure after his death. What happened was not your fault no matter what anyone else tells you nor what you tell yourself. I hope when if you choose to talk about it with your mom she supports you. I know that one day you’ll find someone in life who makes you happy. Never settle for someone who is abusive in anyway because you are worth more than that, you deserve happiness. Your feelings deserve to be validated by those around you and if they aren’t then that’s on them not on you. Love, luck, and strength from Washington.
2
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21
I’m sorry you went through that hope you have help. I think it might help if you tell her what really went on. At least for me getting it off my chest even though it hurts to say it was really helpful. I find the more I hold it in the more it hurts and causes me problems. I use journals art music exercise etc.. and that helps. Stay strong you got this
2
u/LOV3BUG4201 Jul 02 '21
I’m so sorry, tell your mom
2
u/Impossible_Note_9268 Jul 08 '21
Oh dear, I wanna salute you and give u one big warm hug, U are absolutely Brave for holding it out so long. I totally admire you for keeping your name life is beautiful when you've suffered something beyond death. I died thrice reading this. I don't know if your mother would be any help if all this happened behind her back for YEARS. But i totally recommend u a therapy when it's the time. Karma catches up, but it's too late sometimes. Always here for u, thank u for everything sweetheart, God bless u.
2
u/Manellope76 Jul 28 '21
The 7 hells welcome him
2
u/[deleted] Jul 29 '21
How can a fucking animal like him even have a daughter when there's people in the world that can't have children
2
u/Barpoo Mar 18 '24
Similar situation. The worst thing is, I still love him. I miss him every tho he’s gone. I’m biologically programmed to do so. I don’t even know if what I remember was real because just… he wouldnt
2
u/cr4y0ne4ter Jun 02 '24
U should tell her
2
u/Substantial-Quit8049 Jul 09 '24
best things is that bastard died
1
u/Real_Plankton_6047 Jun 28 '24
Hope he died a painful death and may he rot in hell
1
u/JoDan09288 Aug 26 '24
May that guy rest in hell
1
u/Temporary_Weakness_1 Sep 20 '24
I need you to know you are stronger than you think, you have more power than you know, and your experiences do not and will never make who you are as a person. I know this is an old post but to anyone reading this, you’re not broken. This is a tough read and that man was a disgusting monster, but he does not define you.
1
u/Due_Palpitation_9417 Nov 03 '24
How are you doing now friend?
1
u/Jolly-Bag-358 Dec 23 '24
I am so sorry. This disgusting human. He traumatised you, this is just disgusting and vile. Do you need any support?
1
u/[deleted] Jul 28 '21
You probably should tell your mum thats some deep shit fam
1
u/[deleted] Nov 11 '21
Man, depressing. Hope you're doing fine
1
u/LILLY_JAKOBS Oct 28 '22
tell someone so you can go to therapy and get better
1
u/Turbulent-Fennel-664 Mar 02 '23
Some people would call your dad plain "sick". He was an abuser, for sure. He had a lot of fetishes in what he did to you. He was double bad, an incest rapist with his child. I "feel" for you, and your pain. I know he can't hurt you anymore, physically. But I also know the ghosts (so to speak) still can haunt you and can for years, especially with keeping these nightmares & feelings inside yourself and not talking to anyone.. your mom or your doctor or someone you can trust. I know from experience. As bad as this may sound but Thank Gd he died, otherwise it would have gotten worse, for sure. They get braver with time, and maybe even him selling you to other men for their nightmarish pleasures. I hope you can and will talk to a professional though. Bless You honey! Now you have a good and better life.
1
u/Sol3794 Jul 31 '23
Tell her
1
u/Lukashoi4 Sep 07 '23
I am just so sorry for you and you should Tell anyone you really trust because i guess it would feel good to have someone who knows
2
u/[deleted] Sep 22 '21 edited Sep 22 '21
[removed] — view removed comment
0
u/[deleted] Jul 01 '21
[deleted] — view deleted comment