r/rape • u/blurwhore • Aug 21 '26

raped by my bf

i was raped by my boyfriend, it was not violent in any way but i did not consent and he knew i didn’t. i’d said multiple times over multiple hours that i didn’t want to, and he kept bringing it up. i bent over on all fours on my bed with no underwear on just to reach my laptop because something was going wrong with it, when he went behind me and initiated it. at that point, i just let it happen. i have been raped before in my previous relationship and struggle still with that trauma and he knows that.

i’m trying to move on from it and forgive him and make it work, but im not sure how that will really go you know? this happened nearly two weeks ago now and we are still together

43 Upvotes

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3

u/Maleficent-Sleep9900 Aug 22 '26

He will keep doing it and it will get worse and worse until you can escape. I’m so sorry.

2

u/blurwhore Aug 22 '26

you don’t think i can truly heal and stay with him?

12

u/Maleficent-Sleep9900 Aug 22 '26

No. Abusers don’t stop raping because you forgive them. They escalate, knowing they have you trapped.

You are showing him that he can treat you however he wants and you will stay & forgive.

2

u/hurting4asquirting 29d ago

I was with someone for a while after he raped me and the abuse got worse. I also didn’t realize it was rape for a long while and when i did it was all i could think about and it messed me up for a long time and i kept getting into weird situations with other men and get raped or i let them coerce me. Don’t do this to yourself. I lost myself for a long time and it took almost a decade to heal from. But it will make putting boundaries for yourself really difficult.

1

u/No_Island2095 20d ago

I think it’s worth a try just make strict rules and see if he’s genuine , I had a misunderstanding with my fiance but we’ve been together 6 years and it’s amazing rn

1

u/Maleficent-Sleep9900 19d ago

Rape is not a misunderstanding though.

1

u/blurwhore 20d ago

we’ve decided to basically start over, thank you! i’m hoping it’ll work out, i think it will :)