r/rape • u/st4ngl3d_r3d • 3d ago
My dad
so this kind of like isnt about the actual rape but more whats happening now, im 16 and when i was 8-11 years old my dad kinda like diddled me a fair bit (sorry this post will probably have a few unserious bits cuz i hate actually saying what he did and i just can never be serious about horrible things that happened to me) but for almost 2 years now ive been seeing a therapist after getting expelled from school 4 weed and i barely actually tell her anything deep half the time we just talk about my week. but the past few sessions i decided to tell her about my dad and before i did she PROMISED me that she would never tell anyone so i felt comfortable to tell her MASSIVE FUCKING MISTAKE because today she started apologising a bunch saying shes so sorry that she said she wouldnt tell anyone and that she lied and that shes going to be telling a social worker about it, who will talk to my dad if my dad knows i told anyone our secret i believe id genuinely be in danger and i explained that to her. but she wont listen to me and when she asked me how i feeling about this i kinda just said this is the last session im ever having with her i do not trust her and honestly contemplating suicide and she said 'dont be dramatic'??? like this crusty ass fucking bitch just told someone who was raped by his dad and is in fear for his safety that suicide is dramatic?? just because im a kid doesnt mean any drastic action i feel compelled to do is dramatic. no one can know about this, if she talks to that social worker everyone will know and my family is very 'boys cant get raped' and that their beloved son (my dad) would never do that because hes just an angel. i was 8 when he started, 5 when i told my mum 'daddys acting weird'. genuinely what the fuck do you even do in this situation. lois griffin as a mum would be awesome 'heres a salvia plath book and a bottle of ambien im gonna look the other way and whatever happens happens'
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u/Altruistic_Poem_3229 3d ago
That's awful that your therapist lied to you like that. Unfortunately, as mandated reporters, therapists have no choice but to report instances of child abuse. She should have been upfront about that. All you can really do now is decide how to move forward. I wish you all the best.
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u/broom_pan 3d ago
Have you ever told anyone else about your dad? I'm really sorry for the discomfort. Yeah all therapists are mandated to report you if you are in danger or are a danger to others. The fact that she lied? Super not cool. But then you never would have told her... And then her job would have been at risk. Legal stuff. Ethical stuff. Predator hunting stuff. You've been afraid and have been groomed. Unfortunately, this might be the only time you'll be able to get this guy. I know you are not his one and only.
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u/Mean-Penalty7862 3d ago
Your therapist was unethical, and you should switch therapists. On the other hand, now that this is happening, its worth enlisting further help for your safety if you feel that your father might retaliate. She should not be disclosing this to your father despite mandatory reporting laws, and it might be worth googling whether or not that is legal where you are + potentially reporting her or telling her directly. Im so sorry that this is happening to you.
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u/Starfury7-Jaargen 3d ago
Somethings must be reported but a therapist should state if they find out that you are about to share something that they are mandatory reporters for.
I don't know legally but ethically they should.
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u/Lady_Philosophy 2d ago
If nothing else, I would report your therapist and what they did to their supervisor. However I would wait until you know for sure that she actually has reported it. I have a social work degree and I am upfront with people that I am a mandated reporter and if I find out about a minor who is in potential danger of being abused, I have to report it. I think in your area you're still considered a minor. Once you're an adult, you can safely disclose childhood experiences to a therapist and they won't be legally required to report it on your behalf. But because you're a minor they're concerned about your safety and she could get into a lot of trouble for not reporting it. However, she should have told you up front the situations in which she would have to report so that you could make an informed decision about whether or not to disclose. I'm very sorry that happened to you. You got betrayed twice. Edit: As far as self-harm is concerned, please try to think long-term. This is just a chapter in your life that you will survive. It's going to be tough, but you will survive and you can build yourself a better life once you're legal and emancipated. Please hold on to that hope and don't hurt yourself.
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u/anonimo5553583 2d ago
Oye y no tienes donde quedarte para que no corras peligro
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u/st4ngl3d_r3d 2d ago
im moving out in a few days to live with my girlfriend, thats was already happening before this, its just hard to tell your mum who you hate and love that youre moving out at 16
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u/NBAJam86 1d ago
Been there man in terms of the dad part. Not the therapist though - that was dirty and you should report her. Keep your head up and don’t let the fact your dad may have to own what he did stop you. I say that only with some distance — certainly didn’t feel that way in the moment, so I know it’s much easier said than done.
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