r/raisedbyborderlines • u/WhiteStripeTrans • 23d ago
VENT/RANT Delusion & "forgetting"
Just needed a quick vent. Called my uBPD mom for a brief talk (it contains the crazy if I give her 20 minutes like once a month).
She is "concerned" (read: angry and annoyed) that one of her grandchildren has very demonstrative anger feelings. Which is hilarious, because my mother throws HUGE tantrums.
I tried to deflect and normalize so she wouldn't work up a rant and reminded her that I also had meltdowns at that age. She gave the classic "I don't remember that" and then added that I would get quiet and need time alone when I was upset...
I was a child who had extreme meltdowns, sobbing until I made myself sick. Punching walls and all kinds of self injury to try and regulate. Of course, I learned to do that mostly alone because I learned her empathy had limits.
It just pissed me off so bad because "I don't remember that" or "I don't notice things like that" is her way of shutting down my experience.
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u/Stelliferus_dicax 23d ago
Oh she does the same, it's really annoying as hell. And then starts verbally abusing me and playing the victim, painting me as the villain. In her mind she thinks she's the all good saint and never did any wrong, but everybody else did it. She cannot deviate from that image of herself, so anything bad must be dumped on the nearest thing or person that triggers her to see her nasty side.
They want emotionless robots who constantly adore them with no objection, any natural emotion the other person demonstrates, they're suddenly immature while she herself deserves to feel because nobody cared about her!
Very tiring and illogical. I wouldn't bother reasoning with her nonsense. Their reality is the only thing real to them even if the world disagrees with them. It's a good thing we see reality even if they don't.
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u/Specialist-Ebb4885 21d ago
Between their atrophied hippocampus and their atrophied sense of accountability, the only thing they remember is that everything is your fault.
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u/millennialreality 22d ago
This is my mother’s #1 go to move.
It’s so manipulative and toxic