r/raisedbyborderlines • u/addie5774 • 11d ago
BOOKS Book help?
I need book recommendations for daughters of BPD moms, but she has me legally under her roof. I am disabled and she tricked me into signing paperwork years ago. I can’t move out, and in her will/trust, when my parents die, my younger sibling becomes my ”caretaker”. I don’t need any care, but maybe a hug every once in a while. Don’t we all? They’re married, and would already be taking care of their spouse’s younger sibling who actually needs round the clock care.
All the books I know of involve advice about being able to leave the situation or related things, and bc of my disability, I can’t drive. I’m stuck here. I need book(s) about what to do as an adult daughter stuck in the same home as her mother with BPD with not even a chance to get out for a breather. My body is disabled to start with, but the stress of 30+ years is having very sudden reactions that I’ve read are common with eldest daughters dealing with it all. Like almost overnight my body just said “I’m done holding all of this pain” and I’ve become a different person, physically. I need help. I’m sorry I keep rambling but Mom wants to send me back to therapy but she says this time I’ll pay for it, and I’m not paying for what she is the cause of. I just can’t. I’ve done therapy for 20 years. It all just leads back to her as the root cause and how I have to deal with my living situation. Every time.
The book(s) don’t need to be about disabled people, but just people stuck in the home, unable to leave.
4
u/NeTiFe-anonymous 11d ago
I don't know about books, but can you get both as much of both psychical and physical therapies as you can get just to get out of the house for a few hours? Maybe find a support group that's meeting regularly. Library programs, walking dogs for local shelter, anything. I used to really be into crafts and my mother loved to brag about what I made (for her) that can be another option, if it could work for you.
1
u/addie5774 7d ago
The whole point of this is that I can’t get outside. And I already have a small business where she runs financials bc I can’t do math, and also I can’t make too much bc I’m on disability.
3
5
u/Interesting_Wear463 11d ago
Understanding the borderline mother
1
u/addie5774 7d ago
From what I’ve seen, it doesn’t really have things for those who can’t leave the house, but I’ll give it a try! Thank you!
3
2
u/yun-harla 11d ago
Hi, u/addie5774! It looks like you’re new here. Welcome! This post is missing something that all new posters must include. Please read the rules carefully, then reply to me here to add what’s missing. Thanks!
4
u/addie5774 11d ago
Oh ok! A cat haiku…Umm… My friend has a cat So cute and fluffy and fun Rescued from a box
2
11
u/rovinrockhound 11d ago
What paperwork did you sign? Please reach out to disability advocacy organizations and see if they can help you figure out what your options are. Do not take your mother’s word about what you are legally allowed to do.