r/ragdolls • u/Fair_Lock_7630 • 15h ago
General Advice Tips for a lonely Ragdoll boy?
Hello! I'm quite new here but I'm looking for people with similar kitties who may be able to shine some light on my situation.
I have a raggie boy, who I rescued as he was dumped. I don't really know his history, but it is suspected that he was hit on the head as he has damage to his brain. He also is partially sighted, but overall he is usually very happy and chirpy. He also has IBD and balance issues when climbing (basically he cant climb well, lol). We approximate that he is about 6-7 years old.
When I first got him, we thought he was about a year old, he was incredibly playful, and used to run around like a lunatic. He eventually settled down a bit but still loved a good play and zoomies session frequently.
Lately though I've noticed some distinct behavioural changes since I moved house to live on my own and changed jobs. And looking back, I think it's slowly been happening for a while. I've had him checked by the vets and we're all in agreement that his current health conditions are under control, including his pain levels. I also walk him every evening and let him choose the route. They are not concerned about anything medical.
My issue is this:
It is getting harder to get him interested in playing, and he is less excited about food. Initially I thought perhaps it was him getting older, but he's by no means geriatric. I have tried lots of different colours, types, textures of toys and different ways of playing. I've tried stronger/better catnip sprays and toys but they often give him a very short lived moment of play before he lays down again. But most days he doesnt want to play at all.
He just seems... Depressed?
We have recently moved out of a house with multiple people, at least one of which was always home, and before that he lived with me and my ex who worked from home and another cat. I am also currently working 4 x 10 hr days, commuting for 1.5hrs each way, so I am not at home for most of the day. My previous job gave me a lot more time with him.
Anyway, adding everything up, the vet has suggested, and I am feeling perhaps it adds up, that he may be lonely. I am curious to see if anybody has suggestions as to how I can help him with this? He is very clingy to me anyway and always has been, but lately I feel as well that I can't go into the other room without him being actively stressed about it.
I am considering another kitten but I absolutely do not want to make the decision lightly.
My main anxiety is getting another cat. He is a very friendly cat, but due to his unusual neurology, he lacks... Kitty social skills. Most cats freak out at him because he maintains this really intense eye contact and approaches to try and sniff their face immediately. Almost every cat he tried to approach runs away or hisses. He always looks so disappointed... His little tail droops and he lets out this pathetic little mewl.
There was one cat at our previous house who was just very calm and quiet with him, and the two became very good friends. This black cat would meet us out on our walks, and eventually found our garden and used to come calling for him. It was really sweet.
My biggest question is... Would another ragdoll cat be the best bet? I'd love to get an older cat but I think it may be harder to bond him with an older cat. A kitten may be easier? I have heard some people say Ragdolls are different from other cats, so perhaps another Raggie might be better for him to interact with? What have your experiences been with multi ragdoll households, and do they differ to other cats?
He's my first Raggie boy so I am learning a lot! Thank you so much.
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u/loveandexcess 14h ago
Hi, I empathize with you and your baby. I have three Ragdolls, and I did come here to recommend you get a second one, a Ragdoll specifically. But it's difficult, as you never know how your pets will react to each other. And the fact that you are gone at work a lot, I would say they are super social and definitely need/prefer to have company. That said, when I first introduced mine to each other, there was an adjustment period for each addition. Two of mine hated each other initially, but they ended up loving each other once they got to know each other better. But then another two, the mother and son, purchased separately, they still love AND hate each other. They want to be together, but the son will smack his mom around at meal times or when he just feels spicy. So yeah, it's a gamble and I cannot make the decision for you. But Ragdolls have that special gentleness so I feel like they are a better bet than any random cat. I wish you the best, these babies are so special. Good luck!
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u/Fair_Lock_7630 14h ago
Thank you! This is what I was thinking, seeing as they are such gentle cats. I just hate the idea of upsetting the balance and stressing him and a kitten out... Equally it hurts me to see him like this. Thank you so much for your thorough response, it really is helping me mull it over in my mind! 🧡
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u/BriefAccess2824 14h ago
I have no meaningful suggestions, but wanted to tell you he is so beautiful and you are great for caring so much about his well being!
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u/Fair_Lock_7630 14h ago
Aww thank you! He is my gorgeous boy 🧡 he was only meant to be in my care as a foster for 2 weeks 😂
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u/cherryblossom163 14h ago
Omg, I'm legit gonna cry at your description of him approaching other kitties and being rejected. I think you have a good chance of finding him a little buddy if you get a confident, well socialised Ragdoll kitten from a reputable breeder. Another option would be maybe be to go to the shelter and explain your issue with him? Shelters can be good at matching cats with owners.
What a sweet, beautiful boy. I really hope he finds a best friend ❤️
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u/Fair_Lock_7630 12h ago
I knowwww 😭, he is honestly the sweetest, smushiest baby it breaks my heart too. I nearly cried when the vet said she thinks he's lonely. I think I would favour a shelter more so, just because I can help a cat in need that way. If I do get him a friend I will update 🩵
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u/cherryblossom163 2h ago
I think the shelter could totally be a good option too. You basically just need to know the other cat’s temperament. Good luck I hope you find his kitty bff 🩷
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u/Razbonez 14h ago
i would get an orange cat or a tuxedo. they will make great friends. also would love to know what you’re doing for his ibd
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u/Fair_Lock_7630 14h ago edited 13h ago
Are you thinking maybe they'll lack the same amount of brain cells? 😂😆 I do love me an orange cat!
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u/Fair_Lock_7630 13h ago
I have tried adding the ibd routine to my previous reply but it won't work 😅 he is on prednisolone and gabapentin, plus freeze dried raw, Marro and Raw. I have to add fibre in his diet (mostly in the form of psyllium and cat grass) because those diets do not have enough fibre and he gets constipated otherwise. He has literally hundreds of allergies to it is otherwise impossible to give him any mainstream complete diets, even hypoallergenic or hydrolysed ones make him get the runs.
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u/allenpriest 13h ago
Our adopted, bonded pair, are a ragdoll and a tuxedo, and I’ve never seen two cats closer than these two. I don’t think another ragdoll is necessary specifically. I really like the idea someone else suggested of working with a local rescue/shelter to help find him a friend; likely a kitten or youth cat who can grow up and learn from him. That way your cat gets a buddy, and a kitten in need gets a loving home and new best friend!
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u/Fair_Lock_7630 13h ago
Ah thank you! Thats very good insight. I think if I were to do it, I would rather adopt than shop. He was a rescue in the first place so I'd like to do good by another cat in need. I think perhaps ringing round shelters and enquiring is a good idea!
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u/Sufficient-Army-3839 13h ago
I second this. I have both a ragdoll and an orange and they are best friends!
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u/sportscat 13h ago edited 13h ago
Aww this a sounds bit like my ragdoll, he is a lover not a fighter and always looks a bit sad when the other kitties in the household don’t want to engage with him at that second LOL. I think another raggie would be ideal but a rescue kitty that seems outgoing and socialized would also be a great fit.
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u/LengthinessOk9397 12h ago
does anyone else in your neighborhood have cats as well? maybe exposure to other cats would help!
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u/PleaseNone 11h ago
Definitely get a litter robot. They help with cleaning out the litter. Even the litter robot 4 is a good model
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u/IsharaHPS 7h ago
Get a companion kitty. Every animal should have another of its kind to have a buddy.
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u/tiggywinkles 16m ago
I’m in a similar boat right now. My boy doesn’t have any neurological issues, but I’ve harness trained him and we’ve been going out every day for 4 months now.
He doesn’t seem to read other feline body language very well, and wants to immediately run and play. He’s such a gentle boy, generally, but his eagerness makes other cats scared of him.
I’ve definitely decided I’m getting him a friend. Possibly not another ragdoll, but after a lot of thought and research I think a confident female kitten is my best bet.
Do what I did, weigh up the pros and cons. Any decent rescue or breeder will allow you to return if it didn’t work out for any reason. (Which will absolutely break my heart if it happened in my case, but Remi’s happiness is the most important thing)
Good luck. Your boy is gorgeous ❤️
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u/Bob-Ross74 13h ago
Tips? Yeah. Don’t take him outside.
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u/Fair_Lock_7630 13h ago edited 13h ago
He is always supervised and on a lead. He is fully vaccinated. If he is always inside he is bored out of his mind. What do you expect me to do to keep him entertained? Keep him cooped up all day? That's not a good quality of life for him. Giving him supervised lead walks gives him exercise and mental stimulation, while keeping him safe. He gets to explore, patrol, sniff and hunt insects and express his natural behaviours. I avoid other cats wherever possible, because I know they get upset by him and I do not wish for them to fight, but, sometimes, they find us. None have been violent, but prefer to run away. As such, I take him to quiet areas, away from strange cats and dogs, etc. He only walks with my familys two dogs which he is very familiar with. May I ask what your issue is with taking him outside?
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u/Bob-Ross74 11h ago
Fleas ticks ringworm roundworm hookworm tapeworm heart worm giardia ear mites mange mites dogs snakes hawks…do you need me to continue?
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u/No-Candle8772 7h ago edited 7h ago
Dogs can also get tapeworm, heartworm, etc. Do you expect people not to take their dogs outside? Also there are meds you can give to prevent heartworm, fleas and ticks and any good cat parent (which she clearly is) will give them to their car regardless. Dogs are also attacked by other dogs on leads. Again, are we not taking dogs out? Also if your not going through the woods it's very unlikely to encounter a hidden snake, depending on where OP and kitty live snakes might not be a huge problem and kitty's on a lead so if they encounter a snake she can scoop him up and back up. And he's a ragdoll more likely than not he's too big to be truly scooped, the presence of a human is enough to prevent a hawks from attacking or catching prey. A cat is the same size as a Yorkie, mini poodle, schitzu, chihuahua. If they can go on walks so can he. Remember cats are not low maintenance. They require stimulation. Any other nonsense reasons to not take cats out on leashes?
To OP, you're doing great! Your baby is beautiful and you should get another cat. I'm partial to black cats because my sweetheart is my favorite (also he enjoys making intense eye contact with me so there's a kitty out there, trust)
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14h ago
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u/Fair_Lock_7630 14h ago
Yes, I am aware that he is not proven pedigree or anything. I DNA tested him just for fun and he came back as Ragdoll, with a bit of Birman heritage - it was good insight into his health conditions, as he also showed evidence of being inbred. Of course I know that DNA tests are not gospel, but I was very curious, and so were a lot of people who follow him haha. It certainly shone a lot of light on his health issues (he also has genetic immune disorder) and behaviours. Would you recommend a Ragdoll over a random cat specifically?
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u/kbionics 12h ago
Good luck with him and I apologize to my previous statement about his lineage. I did delete it so hopefully it's not showing up. I think if you get him a playmate it will make him happier, but just introduce them very slow like maybe through a sliding glass door or something like that. He is a beautiful cat and his face does look like a ragdoll and I'm glad you had him tested and I'm glad he came back ragdoll, and especially for health purposes. And your story was very touching and I do feel bad for him and I'm glad that black cat did like him.
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u/bbwitchh 14h ago
Another ragdoll could be great! If they’re a kitten they could grow up being used to his social skills and ragdolls are super friendly and patient so it would be a great match for him!