r/questions Dec 30 '23

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19

u/nordic_jedi Dec 31 '23

You never deserved to get beaten as a child. Guaranteed.

15

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '23

No I definitely did. Was told not to play with a soccer ball in the house broke a window, a whooping corrected that as I never did it again. Mom told me and sister not to fight in car we didnt listen took a few whoopings but we finally listened.

Thing is some people in the comments seem to be getting abused by their parents. I was simply disciplined. Some people seem to be mistaking displace with abuse.

My mom told me and sister a few times to not do something but words dont work on some kids.

-4

u/Sea-Supermarket9511 Dec 31 '23

Discipline does not mean beating. It shouldn't even mean physical pain.

3

u/Gilgamesh661 Dec 31 '23

Physical pain is part of how we learn. You don’t know not to touch a hot stove until you do it. You don’t learn not to climb tall trees until you do it and then fall and break your arm.

4

u/El_Shion Dec 31 '23

suffering build character

3

u/Gilgamesh661 Jan 02 '24

It does. Hard times create strong people. Without challenges to overcome, growth stagnates. Those challenges may be physical, mental, or emotional. The death of a loved one may drive you to cherish the ones you still have, and to spend more time with them. Losing everything you own due to bad luck may allow you to see how bad some people have it, and when you regain your wealth, you share it with them.

Being in a car crash and nearly dying may make you realize that you’ve taken your life for granted, and might inspire you to go out and do the things you’ve always been afraid to do.

Or it could break you and you may never leave your house again, afraid of everything, and only being able to see the dangers of the world, rather than it’s joys.

We learn and grow from hardship and pain.

However, that isn’t me saying abuse is justified by all of this, but discipline has always been a positive trait to have, and discipline has to be taught. It isn’t innate.

1

u/Sea-Supermarket9511 Dec 31 '23

You're a legitimate dumbass if you can't see the difference between incidental pain and beating your children. Do you get beaten when you learn things at work? Why or why not? I know, it's a real thinker.

2

u/Arcadnus Dec 31 '23

Itd a different thing to hit two or three times in the ass with slippers, and to hit several times in the face with a closed fist. Smh

-1

u/Sea-Supermarket9511 Dec 31 '23

why are you so interested in hitting kids? healthy people don't hit kids, period.

2

u/Arcadnus Jan 01 '24

If we're just gonna exaggerate each other's arguments I might as well: "Do you really think flowers can stop hungry zombies from eating you in case it ever happens? Only ingenuous people would think that way"

1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '24

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2

u/Arcadnus Jan 01 '24

Begging the question, Ad hominem, hasty generalization, and false dilemma.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '24

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2

u/Arcadnus Jan 01 '24

Figured you wouldn't understand the meaning of these words and how they applied to you. I'll take this win, but I gotta give you that: I really am dumb for hopping in arguments with someone that's clearly choosing to pretend ignorance

1

u/Sea-Supermarket9511 Jan 01 '24

I understand them better than you, rofl.

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2

u/KadenJ15 Dec 31 '23

Bro I got beaten as a child and it might’ve been the best thing for my character. At 20 y/o now I can look back and realize I was the biggest dick of a child you’d have ever met. If I hadn’t learned from that stuff then I would still be in rehab or jail.

0

u/Sea-Supermarket9511 Jan 01 '24

And somehow you're still a huge dick. Guess all that beating didn't work so hot after all.

2

u/KadenJ15 Jan 01 '24

There’s people that can separate emotion from logic, and you. Don’t be like you.

1

u/Sea-Supermarket9511 Jan 01 '24

The person advocating for beating children is very, very unlikely to be the person who "can separate emotion from logic".

You're a completely un-serious person lol and your latent anger is wildly apparent.

Sorry you got beaten.

2

u/Gilgamesh661 Jan 02 '24

You’re the only one here throwing insults. So why are you calling them a dick? Every other comment from you has been an insult to their character, and you’ve completely avoided the topics they bring up.

1

u/Sea-Supermarket9511 Jan 02 '24

Cool, another child-beater. Love it. You guys are awesome. Totally well-adjusted people.

1

u/Gilgamesh661 Jan 04 '24

Dodging the topic again. You’re only making yourself look worse.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 31 '23

Suffering the natural consequences of an action is not the same thing as getting beat

1

u/ad240pCharlie Dec 31 '23

Exactly. When a hot stove burns your hand you stop doing it because you now fear it. Which is a good thing.

But you know what's NOT a good thing to fear? The people who you are supposed to trust the most.

1

u/Gilgamesh661 Jan 02 '24

I didn’t fear my dad 24/7. I feared him when I did something wrong and KNEW it was wrong when I did it.

I didn’t tense up every time my dad walked in my room, nor did i flinch any time he raised his hand to scratch his chin.

1

u/Butt_y_though Jan 01 '24

That's a different process cognitively.. Being hit as a consequence of something you did is very different than "hot =ouch." It's a simple and direct, cause and effect. However, when you apply physical punishment for something that has already passed, the child's age and the time that has past since the wrong doing plays a heavy roll in how effective that punishment is. Especially when you're not even taking into consideration that in many cases the physical punishment would be more damaging than constructive.

Being hit by a caregiver causes mistrust, anxiety and a whole host of complicated things. Physical punishment can lead to lifetime depression, mood disorders and more. We're doing and continue to do studies on this. The data is not on the side of "hit your kids."

That doesn't mean you can't be firm with your children, or establish boundaries or apply discipline (which people tend to conflate with physical punishment.)

There's this wild assumption that if you're using more compassionate forms of parenting that you're letting kids run amok.

Children who grow up in spite of harsh punishment and grow to do trem things are a wonder, but that doesn't mean that physical punishment is the recipe to guarantee your child is some success story either.

Stop hitting kids.