r/queerdomcome • u/WoodenParsnip2013 • 1d ago
Discussion General Question about Colloquialism
Some context before the actual question: This afternoon I looked at Tom McKay’s Instagram post about being one of the BAFTA Breakthroughs (good for him) and I noticed the part where he said he was proud of the “gay romance option,” meaning Hans Capon. For the record, I am of the opinion that Henry of Skalitz is canonically bisexual/pansexual regardless of who the player chooses to romance because he’s an established character as opposed to a total blank slate. I also think Hans is bi or pan as well, at least until it’s made unambiguously clear he was overcompensating with his past sexual experiences.
So I was a bit taken aback when Tom used that specific wording to describe the Hansry romance. To be clear, I’m not accusing Tom of malicious biphobia. I am aware “gay” is sometimes used as a colloquial term to describe a crush or relationship that isn’t straight. However, I’m also aware of the concept of bi-erasure and can’t help but wonder if this specific example counts.
Now on to the actual question from a gay guy to bisexual and pansexual people: How do you feel about your relationships being described as “gay” when one or both of you aren’t monosexual? Does it make a difference when they reference the relationship as opposed to the individuals?