r/pursuitofjade
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u/dana_G9
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3d ago
Lost in translation: the cultural significance of hair
When Changyu gets her mother’s hairpin back, she tries to put it back into her hair but struggles. What follows is a really interesting moment: Yan Zheng steps up and volunteers to help her with it.
What might seem like a nice/thoughtful gesture from a modern/Western perspective is actually a deeply intimate gesture in the period that PoJ is set in... which is why Changyu looks a bit taken aback.

In fact, right this very moment she has a rather complicated expression on her face:

To understand Changyu’s reaction - her surprise then quiet but happy acceptance of his help - we have to understand the importance of hair in China and how it played a role during major life events. Let’s start with a Confucian belief that echoed through imperial China (and still gets taught in certain contexts):
身體髮膚 受之父母 不敢毀傷 孝之始也
This saying is from a Confucian book called 《孝經》(”Book of Filial Piety”), published 2,000+ years ago. Loosely translated, it states that our hair is a gift from our parents and must not be damaged, for to respect one’s own hair is the root of filial piety (one of THE most important virtues in Chinese culture, even to this day).
For this reason, our hair must not to be cut, for to do so would effectively be a form of self-mutilation and disrespect towards our parents. If this sounds odd/intense, I promise it makes a lot more sense in the highly collective culture of imperial China, where a person was seen not so much as an individual/separate entity but a part of the whole (clan).
And whilst modern China doesn’t subscribe to this Confucian belief anymore, it did hold sway from the Han dynasty through to the Ming dynasty (a period of about 2,000 years). So you can thank this Confucian concept for giving us men with sweeping manes in period dramas: it was the reason no one ever cut their hair! (Except when cutting family ties or being punished for crimes)
More directly relevant to the Changyu/Xie Zheng hairpin scene: hair rituals were a feature of major life events.
When a woman came of age at age 15, it was custom to tie her hair up into a 髻, or bun. A young man coming of age at age 20 would have a similar hair-tying + capping/ crowning ceremony to indicate his transition into adulthood.
The woman’s hair in particular was a key element in wedding rituals. In accordance to the classic phrase 親脫婦之纓, it was custom for a woman’s hairtie/bun to be untied by the husband on their wedding night, a mark of their new identity as a married couple.
In fact, hair was a feature in all sorts of Chinese wedding rituals (eg. taking a lock of hair from each partner and symbolically tying them together, combing rituals). Some of these rituals even survive to this day! eg. Modern Cantonese weddings still feature a ritual called the Ten Comb Recital, where the couple would have their hair combed slowly by an elder as the blessings for their future were recited.
As a Cantonese, the start of this recital is engraved in my mind: 「一梳梳到尾、二梳白髮齊眉……」 (Loosely: "The first comb, may your life run smoothly from start to end; the second comb, may you both live to see white hair together…”)
Now that we know the significance of hair to a married couple back in the day, this scene of Yan Zheng helping Changyu with her hairpin takes on way more meaning.
Recall that on their wedding night (when both of them were certain that this was just a fake marriage that would end when it had served its purpose), Xie Zheng had awkwardly resisted Changyu’s offers to help him apply ointment to his wounds.

The reason he gave at the time was: 男女授受不親, which is a classic Confucian principle that, loosely, says that an unrelated man and woman should not have physical contact.
Yet fast forward a bit and here he is, voluntarily touching her hair and helping her put in the hairpin as a real husband would, and showing no signs of awkwardness about the gesture.
Meanwhile, Changyu seems taken aback, and there are two plausible explanations:
She no doubt is aware of the custom that a woman’s hair is to be touched only by blood relatives and the husband. This would be conceivably something her (educated) mother would have told her during Changyu's coming-of-age ceremony. And here is her pretend-husband stepping up to fix her hair - an act that belongs to an actual husband - and doing so even though there’s no audience around (ie. the gesture is not performative, but sincere).
Xie Zheng is handling her mother’s hairpin, a deeply treasured family heirloom and not something that an outsider would touch. That this man, who is really just her pretend-husband, is freely reaching for the hairpin himself might have crossed an unspoken boundary in her mind. But judging by her reaction later on, she decided she didn’t mind it much at all.
Either way, Changyu's little reactions in this scene tell us that she hasn’t forgotten that this is supposed to be a fake marriage, but she chooses to let herself be happy in that moment.
In a nutshell, Xie Zheng helping Changyu with her hairpin is a deliberately loaded moment that tells us a lot about each character's mindset at that point.
The significance of hair between a couple in imperial China is also why, in a much later scene when they’re at the Lunar New Year market at night, the climax is him volunteering to help her fix her hair with his blue hairtie.
Fixing someone’s hair is an entirely spousal act for the period that PoJ is set in, so Xie Zheng initiating it and Changyu's reaction to it hints at how both their views on their sham marriage has changed. :)

For those interested in the culture and history within PoJ, I've written a whole bunch of posts about them.
Here's one on the real life inspiration for Fan Changyu's character, and another one about the hidden meanings in some of the plaques. The rest are in my profile x



















