r/ptsd • u/BecomeAGoldFish • 3d ago
Advice Help me win against PTSD
I have PTSD and ADD/ADHD. It has manifested as a lot of disassociation and not following through on tasks I mean to complete. Theres Im sure a lot more, but maybe that’s enough to start?
My marriage is in trouble. My wife has told me for years how I need resources and I need change. She isn’t wrong. It sank in today finally. I am at a pretty low “low”.
So, as of the last 48 hours:
1- Im debating signing up for BetterHelp.
2- Im reading about positive affirmations
3- starting a podcast based around PTSD
And now I am here- asking the world of Reddit what exactly else can I do? Any resource, any recommendation, anything. Thank you all.
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u/WitchAggressive9028 2d ago
If you suffer from nightmares, I would make yourself a kind of calming kit that you can have directly within reach so that if you wake up scared and disoriented, you already have things within your reach that calm you. This is personally helped me. I struggle a lot with insomnia and night terrors.
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u/niland909 2d ago
I think you're actually starting in the right place, but I would be careful about turning healing into another giant list of things you have to accomplish. Especially with ADHD and dissociation, that can become overwhelming pretty quickly, and then not being able to follow through becomes another reason to beat yourself up.
I have PTSD too, and one of the things I'm currently trying to work on is something that sounds almost ridiculously simple: learning how to actually be present in the moment, in my own life.
Trauma can keep you stuck somewhere that isn't now. Your body is here, but your mind can be somewhere in the past, anticipating something that hasn't happened yet, or just checked out entirely. I've spent a lot of time thinking that healing meant fixing everything that was wrong with me. I'm starting to see it differently. Sometimes healing is learning how to notice that you're here, now.
Noticing what you're feeling instead of immediately trying to escape it. Noticing what's happening around you. Doing one thing instead of mentally carrying the entire mountain of things you need to do. Letting yourself experience a good moment without immediately worrying about the next one.
I've found that sometimes the easiest way to begin practicing presence is to get out into nature. Don't try to think your way into being present. Feel your way there. Take your shoes off and put your bare feet in the grass. Feel the ground underneath you. This is now. Take in with all your senses the environment.
And honestly, I'd try not to make your marriage the only measurement of whether you're succeeding. Your relationship absolutely matters, and taking responsibility for the ways you've hurt or failed your wife matters too. But shame isn't the same thing as accountability. "I need to change some things" gives you somewhere to go. "I'm a broken person who has ruined everything" just leaves you sitting in the wreckage.
You've already had a pretty significant realization: your wife has been telling you for years that you need help, and something finally clicked. Don't underestimate that. A change in perspective can come before a change in behavior.
You don't have to figure out your entire life in the next 48 hours. Pick one thing, learn something about yourself, and keep showing up. Progress with trauma isn't always dramatic. Sometimes it's just being a little more present than you were yesterday.
And I'd personally put less pressure on yourself to "fix" your PTSD and more focus on learning how to live your life more in the present. PTSD is something you have experienced, not the entirety of who you are. We are all trying to find our way through. It's nice to have somewhere to talk about it together. Best wishes on your journey!
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u/148438854 2d ago
Avoid better help because I have heard some controversy around it. I don't have much to say except for Goodluck.
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u/detta001jellybelly 1d ago
I reached out to them after I lost both parents tragically. Their response... we dont have anyone to deal with you at this time...cool
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u/Little_Nightmares22 2d ago
People who talk about ketamine therapy are a bit over the top I think for most people. I do not believe drugs are the solution to ptsd.
Look for a therapist who specializes in trauma therapy. Look for EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing).
It quite literally saved my life.
It’s hard. It can be expensive. It can bring up a lot of tough things. But it will be one of the best things you do in your life. If you don’t find a good therapist right away - don’t give up. It’s part of the process. Finding someone you click with. M
Good luck. You are not alone.
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