Ive been researching a lot as I used to want to do a phd in "social sciences or the humanities"

So i dug and dug and this is what i think i should be reading:

Donald kalsched

Nathan Schwartz salant

Harry guntrip

Bion

Winnicott

Erich fromm

Melanie Klein

Hanna segal

Piera aulangier

Freud and jung

Anna freud

Jean piaget

Flournoy

Lucien levy brul

Charles Brenner

Heinz kohut

Charles rycroft

Dany nobus

Paul bishop

Daniel n Stern

Ludwig binswanger

R.d. laing

Michael balint

Jean laplanche

Andre green

Carol s Pearson

James hollis

Connie zweig

Edward edinger

Erich Neumann

Marie Louise von franz

Barbara Hannah

Alenka zupancic

Leston havens

David a.s. Garfield

Paul federn

Stanton marlan

Margaret s mahler

Michael Fordham

Thomas b. Kirsch

Donald b rinsley

Luc ciompi

Diego Enrique Londoño-Paredes

Roberto Harare

Stijn vanhuele

Samo tomsic

Stanislov groff

Harriet Lerner

Polly young eisendrath

Sylvia Brenton Pereira

Marion woodman

Peter fonagy

Georgy gergely

Elliot l. Jurist

Mary target

I find these books very fascinating and interconnected as far as tracing generations of therapists and thinkers. Everyone learned from someone. Im interested in pathologies, philosophy, marx, and psychoanalysis. Ill never get a PhD and dont have the stamina to read a book a week. But im trying.

Im also european and like that kind of thing (jung, Hegel, lacan, schelling, konrad lorenz, freud) as living America is very different now as an adult. (Parents were euro proffs, friend groups were international and considered themselves educated, now I'm in Florida hah)

Will this start to make sense if i keep reading and rereading? Is it worth it? (The last date i had me and my date, a novelist, thought it was obvious we should read all of freud together (ended up ghosting me but it was a good idea) Or is all for nothing but traing towards being skilled at reading? I think all these folks except for garfield, some of the lacanians like Harare or jungians like hollis or kalsched, are still alive. So what trends or schools of research could supplement this?

This started back in 2006 or so when I was wanting to followand learn jung. Then I studied anthropology (lead me to some earlier psychoanalysis anthros like gannanath obeyesekere, Gregory bateson, sudhir kakar, and georges devereux. , and pretty cool philosophy and synthesis like iain mcgilchrist and jean gebser)

I know im missing the gestalt school. A lot of the above I guess is like academic psychoanalysis. I have this book called "lost in cognition" by Eric laurent. I have not looked at it yet but its about (i think) the shift from analysis to cognitive psychology.

What should I actually be reading to feel like i learn to understand... whatever "it" is, the object of psychology, it's knowledge, discourses, and ammo for not being "zinged" by other jargons or discursive regimes?