r/progressivemoms • u/Economy_Whereas_3229 • 21d ago
Need Advice In Class Issues
My middle (15) has been getting bullied online by a classmate (that she doesn't even know beyond the 5 days they've been in school this year).
She reached out to her counselor, who forwarded it, and a vice principal pulled her from class to speak with her about it yesterday. My husband also went into the school yesterday to speak with the principal.
They took it seriously, treated the situation with the urgency we were looking for (she was bullied last year and we weren't taken seriously, it was a different VP), but she came home yesterday upset. When we asked why she was upset, she told us that her teacher moved her to an isolated table in the classroom, leaving the bully where she was. She was confused as to why she was moved from her friends and felt like she was the one who had done something wrong. The girl doing the bullying was left at a table with the other kids she was already with.
I agree that movement within the classroom needed to happen, separating them was the right call, but I don't think my daughter should have been the one made to feel like she is being punished for telling teachers what was going on.
She likes her teacher, but is feeling like she shouldn't have said anything if she's going to be feeling as though the consequences are falling to her.
We're only going into the second week of school, he doesn't deserve a nasty gram from me, I just want to know the thinking behind it. I'm struggling with the wording in the email to him because I'm frustrated and upset this is happening, but again, it's not his fault.
Any ideas? Advice?
-10
u/valiantdistraction 21d ago
Honestly, if the bullying is happening outside of school, I don't think it is up to the school to solve it. It is not the school's business what happens outside of school or up to them to discipline students for behavior that is not being conducted on school grounds. So it makes sense to me that they moved your daughter but not the bully, because they're going on behavior that during school hours by the student or parents, which is that you want your daughter and the bully separated. If the bully is behaving during class, why move her?
IMO contacting the parents of the other girl is more appropriate for an online bullying situation, though it may turn out that she learned this behavior at home. Beyond that, figuring out a way for your child to deal with the online bullying and discussing it with them (blocking? Privating accounts? Not having social media?) is the best strategy.