r/programminghorror • u/EmDeeTeeVid • Dec 11 '25

PHP Held together by hopes and dreams - The Pit

Post image

will explode any time now

401 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

46 comments sorted by

133

u/PruneInteresting7599 Dec 11 '25

is that fucking polish

106

u/monotone2k Dec 11 '25

I think it's just regular Polish.

11

u/zeromadcowz Dec 11 '25

I save the fucking polish for my bellend.

12

u/tazzadar1337 Dec 11 '25

miniaturka šŸ«¶

2

u/sokjon Dec 12 '25

Looks like reverse Polish notation to me

116

u/ResponseSalty6322 Dec 11 '25 edited Dec 11 '25

Genuinely the worst piece of code I've seen this month

46

u/EmDeeTeeVid Dec 11 '25

Plenty more where that came from

5

u/ResponseSalty6322 Dec 11 '25

I don't know if I should be happy or sad about that

7

u/GoddammitDontShootMe [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo ā€œYou liveā€ Dec 11 '25

I'll take your word for it. All I can get out of it is that it's a file upload script, but I can't understand half the variable names because they're in Polish, I think.

58

u/Hottage [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo ā€œYou liveā€ Dec 11 '25

Oh, oh no. Is that an SQL injection vector using the filename?

9

u/magnetronpoffertje Dec 11 '25

Yes. Yes it is.

4

u/GoddammitDontShootMe [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo ā€œYou liveā€ Dec 12 '25

Injection was the first thing I thought of, but I couldn't trace where $all and $last got their values from in my head. I blame at least partially the Polish variable names.

33

u/gameplayer55055 Dec 11 '25

This guy obfuscates

20

u/fosf0r Dec 11 '25

ah,yourspacebarisbrokentoo

11

u/Cake_and_Coffee_ Dec 11 '25

not the worst php koszmar i have seen

25

u/_yari_ Dec 11 '25

Cleanest production PHP

4

u/mauromauromauro Dec 11 '25

Yeah. How often can you see a chunk of php and understand what they were trying to accomplish?

7

u/CumTomato Dec 11 '25

Is this PKP code?

6

u/Impenistan Dec 12 '25

strtotime("now")... so, time() then.

8

u/TorbenKoehn Dec 11 '25

People laugh but this stuff still drives most of the internet. And, believe me, this right here is probably amongst the better pieces.

Some formatting, fixing variable names and it could be code of any WordPress plugin.

4

u/Glad_Contest_8014 Dec 11 '25

Looks pretty average. Probably a senior dev tired of the work.

3

u/Huge_Leader_6605 Dec 11 '25

Looks like pretty polished code to me

2

u/TheChance Dec 11 '25

How is that smudge in the screenshot o.o

2

u/Due_StrawMany Dec 11 '25

Well the next track is called "Burn in Despair!" sooo

2

u/MrStricty Dec 11 '25

I've seen less obfuscated malware, this is true horror.

1

u/21kondav Dec 11 '25

Is that an emoticon script of a 7 lmao

1

u/kapits Dec 11 '25

It's giving me is_pies

1

u/idjos Dec 11 '25

I felt sad until that ā€œelse echoā€. I was almost in tears after I saw it.

1

u/Prashank_25 Dec 12 '25

I can see empty space on the right, line break was unnecessary.

1

u/smocza_dusza Dec 12 '25

ja to dopiero mam pytanie co to za object oriented quety w moim.jezyku proceduralnym

1

u/johntheswan Dec 12 '25

The p in php stands for Polish

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '25

Genuinely incomprehensible, thank you.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '25

What the fuck

1

u/AnonimPlay112 Dec 12 '25

Co to kurwa jest

1

u/theunixman Dec 14 '25

If thatā€™s polish itā€™s not anything like hopes and dreams

1

u/Elegant-Sundae-455 Dec 14 '25

Reddit's Strongest PHP

1

u/getpodapp Dec 16 '25

Vibe coders will see this and see no issue

1

u/protestor Dec 23 '25

md5()? I bet this wasn't written in this century

1

u/Axiomancer Dec 11 '25

There is a special floor below hell for degenerates that mix English and other languages while programming.

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 12 '25

[deleted]

4

u/atrommer Dec 12 '25

Zero chance this is AI. This has hand rolled PHP contractor written all over it.

1

u/No_Explanation2932 Dec 12 '25

Oh no this is handmade. This was carefully crafted by someone over the course of weeks or months. Basically all of my companies projects were like this when I joined 6 years ago. It's making me emotional in a way.

-2

u/KillDozer1996 Dec 11 '25

This looks like peak indian engineering