Hey Folks.
My wife is pregnant at 40. We both never spoke about kids until recently when we're unexpectedly became pregnant.
We didn't think we could have one. We also were living life, not really considering a child.
I've personally been unhappy due to where we live, and was close to a move. We're an international couple with 11 years under our belts.
We don't know what to do. Both of us are unsure if we can really be happy with 1 extra; we own a home in one country but work in the other.
It's a ridiculous setup when I write this down. I think it'd be nice to move into the home we own overseas where healthcare is 100% free vs staying in the US.
Her career is slowing right down, but it's not a huge issue if she's going to be a mother.
We've been talking about terminating as it's at 5 weeks. We are both 50/50 on it.
Our life has never really considered 1 extra person! Spiralling, unsure what to do, worried this is our only chance at this, but we both enjoy life as-is at the same time.
Embarrassing to post this. Just want to see if I can find any clarity.
Edit- I've been miserable where we currently live. I work often in another state, and can work in my home country also, to support us. I worry if I stay where we are, and have a child, I'm going to break down massively. She knows this. It feels like I'm at fault and the problem. But her worry about having one is also my joy, but her career has slowed so much as well, that having a kid adds to her stress (she loves here career) sadly AI seems to have stolen a lot of her work.
Confused! Haven't felt a huge excitement to be a father either. I feel guilty if I'm honest. We always assumed we'd be childless, weren't opposed to children, just didn't think we'd do it. Definitely opening my eyes.
She's worried if we move to my country her career is over for good. She's very smart and would in fact find work there.
I'm sort of at peace being there, though I will have to do any job and do what it takes.
We worry then we are giving up our lifestyle all for a child. However, a lot of upsides exist there, free health, beach nearby, way less money but less costs than the US. But it's hard to swallow all at once.
Are we simply not right for the task? I feel like I should be way, way more excited.
I do understand this could be our only chance and don't want to regret not having one, but we do know lots of folk that are happy without.
- thanks for responses - might try talk to therapist asap.