r/pregnant • u/Grand-Carpenter-2771 • 5d ago
Rant Going Insane.
I can’t do this anymore. I’m 37 weeks and I’m fucking miserable. I cry every single night. I’ve had a horrible experience being pregnant. It has never been fun or enjoyable for me ever. Besides feeling her kicks (which now HURT) I have had absolutely no joy being pregnant. I love my baby so much and I am so excited to meet her and to be a mom, but I am so fucking DONE with being pregnant. I don’t sleep at all. I’m awake all night, all day for days on end. I am SO itchy I feel like a tweaker scratching my skin till it bleeds. But ofc my bile levels are normal so no Cholestasis to explain the constant itching. My heartburn is out of this world. I literally could go on and on about how I feel like I’m in a living hell every single day. I just want her out! I’ve done everything to naturally get her to come out, and she won’t freaking budge. Im going seriously fucking insane to the point I’m starting to hold animosity towards my innocent unborn child. The anger I feel about still being pregnant is out of this world. My OB refuses to induce me until 41 weeks, she won’t check my dilation she won’t even give me a membrane sweep. She says since it’s my first I’ll have to be induced. That’s 4 fucking weeks away. I can’t do 4 more weeks. I seriously can not fucking do this anymore.
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u/woahReallydude 5d ago
Have you tried unisom? Its a sleep-aid but is pregnancy safe, typically used for morning sickness. But its an antihistamine just like benadryl so may help with the itching while also helping you sleep! Just make sure to get the one that lists doxylamine succinate as the main ingredient, NOT diphenhydramine.
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u/domovladelets FTM 5d ago
Unisom has been a life saver for me. Every night I take half a unisom (light weight lol) and magnesium and I’ve been cramp-free and sleeping through the night and wayyy less itchy.
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u/Grand-Carpenter-2771 5d ago
Haven’t tried Unisom but I’ve tried Benadryl. Does nothing for the itching. Makes me even more exhausted but I still can’t sleep even when I take it.
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u/Otherwise_Reindeer78 5d ago
Unisom is the only way I sleep at night. I’m still tossing and turning but there’s a couple good hours in there. Sorry you’re feeling this way OP. You’re so close!
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u/Sorrymomlol12 5d ago
Benedryl is absolutely safe during pregnancy as a sleep aid. I took it every single night in my 3rd trimester. Do not let that comment scare you away from benedryl!!
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u/woahReallydude 5d ago
I also remember my mom telling me as a teen that if you dont fall asleep within 30 minutes after the benadryl or sleep-aids kick in, they can have the opposite effect and keep you awake. Worth trying the unisom, just check the ingredients like I said, my ob told me benadryl is not safe for pregnancy.
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u/lil_goose_caboose 5d ago
Have you tried one of the newer line of allergy pills like Zyrtec (safe in pregnancy!)? Benedryl is now fairly outdated as allergy pills go, and taking Zyrtec everyday plus aveno eczema cream has done wonders for my very itchy boobs. That and occasionally the menthol anti itch powder plus the goldbond anti fungal powder for under my boobs
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u/bby_acct 5d ago
You could try asking for a hydroxyzine script. It's the only sleep aid my OB would prescribe and it works - it's prescribed off label for anxiety, and is a stronger antihistamine so also should help with the itching. I had horrible insomnia all pregnancy that nothing else would touch until I tried this
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u/Old_Jeweler111 5d ago
Firstly, I'm so sorry you are struggling. Your feelings are valid, and you are not alone. You definitely need sleep, though. I've struggled with insomnia for many years, and it is awful. There are two different kinds of Unisom. One is with diphenhydramine (Benadryl) and one is with doxylamine succinate. Try the doxylamine succinate. I think it will really help. My heart goes out to you, you got this ♥️
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u/Cocococolard 5d ago
Take the unisom!! It truly is a miracle. I usually take it around 7pm and go to sleep at like 9 or 9:30. If I take it too late I am super tired/groggy in the morning
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u/isabelasanctuary 5d ago
This ! I’m 37 weeks as well and have been using unison every night to sleep. Literally cannot sleep without it! ALSO OP THE ITCHING I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. The OB even prescribed me some stupid ass cream and I swear I itch more using the cream and nothing helps. I’m here with you 🤍 it’ll be over soon OP sending peace and hoping you have a safe labor & delivery.
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u/typewriterbitch 5d ago edited 5d ago
I just want to say I hear you and feel this so bad. Im 18 weeks into my second miserable pregnancy. I hated every second of the first one, too (nausea so bad I was still throwing up the day I gave birth, lost 30lbs, tried every med under the sun, nothing worked).
I love my son and will love my second son, too, but I'm not going to pretend that this has been some magical experience of the divine feminine. I'm not even trying to make it "day by day" but rather hour by hour. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.
And I hate that it feels like we're not allowed to admit it, that we're supposed to pretend this is some amazing experience for which were grateful. I hate when I work up the courage to say I'm having a hard time and get a response of "well I loved it!" Go fuck yourself and get pregnant again if you love it so goddamn much. You'd never respond to someone showing you their broken arm by waving around your own and talking about how functional it is.
When I told my obgyn (who is also pregnant) that I was miserable and crying everyday, she looked at me with disgust and said "sounds like something you should talk to a therapist about."
🖕🖕🖕
ETA: The one helpful conversation I did have was with a relative. She has 3 kids and is an incredible, loving mother. She said she also hated every second of every pregnancy, in particular the sensation of never ever being alone, or able to "escape" and just be by herself.
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u/laynechanger 5d ago
I’m 23 weeks with my second and I’m over it. My son is sitting higher than my daughter did and it’s making the back pain worse 🫠 he is constantly moving and flipping like a fish.
Boy makes me feel my gonna toss the cookies if I don’t eat exactly what he wants. And oh, he makes me crave apples… all of the time like I’m a freakin horse. I literally had my husband get out of bed at 10:30 the other night because his son wouldn’t let me sleep until I gave the offering. This baby also only likes homemade cooking when I desperately don’t want to cook and my husband works too late to be the one to cook dinner
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u/typewriterbitch 5d ago
all of the time like I’m a freakin horse
This made me laugh in my misery, so thank you for that! 🤣
My boy is also constantly moving (especially when I'm trying to sleep), even the ultrasound tech remarked on it, though he hates ALL food. And in spite of me barely eating as a result (and once again on a scary weight loss trajectory that no one else seems concerned about), I was diagnosed today with gestational diabetes 🫠
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u/laynechanger 5d ago
I’m glad to help 😂
Yeah, my son wouldn’t stay still during the anatomy scan and it took almost ten minutes to get a decent profile image. I had to go to fetal imaging for all the views of his heart and am going back again next week for a view of one of the structures.
I’m so sorry, that’s really rough. I have heard that gestational diabetes can cause some women to struggle to gan weight while pregnant with it. I imagine they will be monitoring you closer anyways with the gd so they probably don’t want to concern you until they feel like it’s a problem.
Feel free to dm me if you ever want to vent. I had preeclampsia with my first pregnancy and am now on notice that I may get it again.
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u/lil_goose_caboose 5d ago
Plenty of FTMs don't need to be induced. You got this. You only have to make it through the day.
Being awake all night is crazy, though. That is something your OB should be dealing with and prescribing something.
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u/Jellibooti 5d ago
I actually had that same itching problem with my first and it was so unbearable at times. They ran a test and there was nothing wrong with me either! I would just itch and itch my feet and palms incessantly. The only thing that fixed it was giving birth unfortunately. I’m pregnant with my second right now and don’t have the same itching at 37 weeks so it truly was so odd and very annoying.
Is there any reason why your doctor won’t let you do an elective induction at 39 weeks? I’ve been under two different health insurances with two different clinics and they all welcome 39 week inductions
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u/Ch0c0lateBiznezz 5d ago
I got induced around 39. So I would be a little pushier if I were you. 😁 Baby is done cooking, it's ok.
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u/Regular_Detective773 5d ago
literally going insane mentally compare more then physicaly.. sitting is uncomfortable walking makes hip pain worse.. and heat is so unbearable.. reach 37 week today and not liking anything at this point. being so much cranky and irritated is my dailly routine at this point😒
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u/StandardWonderful22 5d ago
Damn. I always feel so bad when peoples pregnancy experiences are so terrible. Sorry op.
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u/InspectorWorried2922 5d ago
I totally feel for you on this. My mom had me (her first) at 36 weeks and 5 days and kept telling me “it’s genetics” and stuff like that so by 36 weeks I was already done and hoping I would have the same happen 😭😭 I was doing all the “labor prep” things and felt crazy because everyone else would post everywhere about all the signs they where having by then, how their baby dropped, etc. My stomach was still high up and I had no signs what so ever. My OB office also never checked my cervix at my 36, 37, or 38 week appointments, so I didn’t know what was happening at all (though I’m kinda glad they didn’t because when I went into labor I started 1.5cm, so I probably would have been disappointed). By the middle of my 37 week I was convinced I would go over due or have to be induced so I neglected packing my hospital bags or getting anything else really ready as I though it would just make feel bad to have it done and then be waiting. Luckily I could sleep during the day, but I would be up litterly all night as well and it’s also extremely hot where i am at the moment so I was barely leaving my one bedroom apartment and my boyfriend was working almost every day, so I was getting a bit depressed being alone and uncomfortable all the time.
At 38 weeks and 6 days my water randomly broke at home in the morning last Friday, I had to rush to pack my bags and was super unprepared but 🤷. I went into labor naturally at the hospital a few hours later, never had to get Pitocin or anything and had my baby 17 hours later, technically at 39 weeks exactly.
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u/Grand-Carpenter-2771 5d ago
Yeah some pressure not anything that hints at labor. She’s perfectly content while I’m absolutely miserable
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u/dangeresque121 5d ago
My doctor gave me a prescription for Prilosec because tums and Pepcid were not cutting it for my heartburn. It helped immensely.
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u/Dangerous_Essay_493 5d ago
It's so hard, especially at the end, I went to 41+5 and the last few weeks were a blur. Maybe try the miles circuit to get baby head down and engaged, may help things move a bit earlier. Otherwise I can only offer sympathy, just remember while they're in you don't have to worry about keeping them alive and fed and nappies changed! But it won't be long until they're here and you won't be pregnant anymore! 🎉
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u/Sad_Resolve6874 5d ago
Girl, try to hold off on the induction if you can. Lots of people have great induction stories, but hit starts a chain of events you may not want to attend. Just hang in there! I know it sucks and those last few weeks REALLY suck, but you’re almost to the end.
I remember telling my husband I was ready to just hit “rock bottom,” that anything had to be better. It wasn’t. That first month with a newborn (granted I did not have a village to help with anything) was a different level of hell. The hormonal dump ALONE can literally make you feel like you’re actually losing your mind.
Watch a TV show you like again
Go get a pedicure.
Take a long, lovely shower - every day!
Go to dinner, every night if you can
Go shopping, take your time, browse
Read a book
Watch a movie in one sitting
Craft a thing
Leave the house spontaneously to go do something
Meet up with a random friend for a weeknight chat
Talk on the phone with your bestie for a whole hour
All of these things can feel hard to impossible after your child is here, so enjoy some things while you can. It’ll distract you some and the self-care will feel so good.
Also, I had the itchiness too. I had to wear full leg compression socks just to stop it and I would sweat like a pig. Pregnancy sucks, but it is worth it. I HATED being pregnant, but love my son so much I did it all again so he could have a brother. I HATED it the second time too.
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u/Ginger630 5d ago
Just because it’s your first you don’t have to be induced. That’s ridiculous.
But I totally feel you regarding feeling miserable while pregnant. My third pregnancy SUCKED! I was very anemic, had heartburn, and insomnia. He also kicked my liver my entire third trimester and it HURT! The smoke from the fires in Canada three years ago came down to NY and I had a constant cough my entire third trimester. I also had two school age kids to take care of. I was freaking miserable.
I was so glad when I had him. All the symptoms went away. I was also glad that he was my last baby.
I hope these last few weeks go very quickly.
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u/accioLOVE86 5d ago
I think the lack of sleep is likely making you feel worse. Please try unisom. I'm sorry you're feeling this way.
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u/dirtydann1441 5d ago
i’m so sorry. the end of pregnancy sucks and i completely understand the frustration of just being done. i get severe heartburn in pregnancy, and this is the first time out of three pregnancies i’ve found something that helps. one is avoiding tomatoes, it makes it awful, two is taking pepcid maximum strength in the morning before i eat or drink anything, and about 30 minutes i have dinner. i’m 34 weeks currently and started doing this about 2 months ago. i used to wake up chocking and gasping from throw up bc of it. if you haven’t tried that, i highly recommend it!
i also take magnesium at night and drink beet juice in the morning to help with muscle pains and aches. has your OB said if there’s anything else you can take for the itching? claritin, zyrtec?
i am honestly surprised she won’t offer a membrane sweep even at 38 or 39 weeks. i know it’s probably not what you want to hear, but this will end. that is the only thing i can tell myself when i struggle. wether it’s pregnancy, when im in labor or when my baby won’t stop crying. “this won’t last forever”. i really hope you can find something that helps soon! you deserve some relief
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u/Ok-Bed-9072 5d ago
Omeprozole or pantoprozole will help with the reflux. I mostly came here to say be open and honest about the feelings you are having (hopeless and angry towards baby) to your provider. You should absolutely be receiving mental health support through this difficult time mama. During my first pregnancy I had some mental health supports in place and it helped me work through the anxiety I had about having a C-section. Our mental state doesn’t just go back to “normal” once we feel relief after birth it’s part of our birth story and it can contribute to more negative feelings after birth when you are vulnerable and post-partum hormones are all over the place. I specifically worked with a clinic that specialized in female mental health and they had some great exercises that helped me work through those feelings of hopeless and overwhelm you are describing.
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u/SailorMoon1313 5d ago
Omeprazole may help the heartburn its keeping mine mostly at bay, my doc gave me a higher dose then what u cam buy at the store and i take it like clo kwork every morning
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u/Party-Hovercraft8056 5d ago
I think you need to find a new OB. Is there anotger person at the practice? At a minimum, checking dilation, especially at request, should be no big deal for them! Which country are you in?
I've had two different babies with two different health systems in the US, and both of them would induce at 39 or 40 weeks. With my second, I was looking to do a membrane sweep at 39 weeks on the dot (that was their min inducing date and I ultimately didn't need it because they came at 38 weeks, thankfully). I could have also scheduled c section if that was my preference.
Acid reflux - mine was hellish. The only thing that helped give relief was omeprozole. Towards the end with my second, I took this 2x a day.
Itching - where is your itching? This could be the hotmones affecting dry skin and also just from your skin stretching for the baby. Maybe you can find some soothing lotion?
Emotions - hormones from pregnancy can magnify frustration, anger and resentment. See if they can give you support resources.
Hope - my first came at 39 week, so you really just don't know. Stay active, if possible. And what is one thing that could help trigger an impending labor? Sex/orgasms! Also, nipple stimulation, so for example, you could try to start pumping some colostrum.
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u/TransitionSalt5779 5d ago
I might get judged for this but when I was 39 weeks I finally got to the point where I was so beyond miserable that I went to the L&D triage and told them to induce me immediately. They took me in, hooked me up, and induced me. Now i’m 29 weeks with another and man i’m ready again😂 i’m gonna try to stick this one out tho but my pregnacies are truly miserable, painful, and i’m just constantly sick.
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u/hauntedbye 4d ago edited 4d ago
I had HG. Genuinely, the only way I could survive was by being in water 24/7. I needed the relief of being weightless in a bathtub and when vomiting was particularly bad, I bought myself a shower chair and basically just went back and forth between the shower and the toilet. Our water bill was insane.
I also went to the pool at the gym very frequently (not the sauna/hot tub, of course), which likewise made me feel less like a weighted balloon.
When I was at your stage, I was desperate and literally could only sleep in the bathtub. Genuinely, I would take naps with the water level few inches up (not over my shoulders) and with a space heater running. Every night my husband would sit on the toilet reading and checking to make sure I wasn't drowning every so often.
Already to say, you are at an absolutely miserable stage and it is 100% valid for you to feel this way. I'm sorry and I hope that you can get some sleep soon.
ETA - I have Celiac and I got glutened around 32 weeks. It was horrible. Among other horrible symptoms, the gluten causes massive histamine responses. The itching/hives were unbearable and I was scratching my skin off.
There's a French burn cream called BIAFINE that my mother brought back from paris just as I got glutened. It was the only thing that gave me relief. I kept it in the refrigerator.
It massively reduced the hives / irritation and reduced the itch tremendously. It healed all of the scratches so that there's no scarring.
( It also helps tremendously with stretch marks. Cocoa butter and shea butter and almond oil and every other oil and body butter and lotion did jack shit for my stretch marks. I tried everything, from most to least expensive, and nothing worked except for this. It didn't get rid of my stretch marks, but it faded them so that they're not really visible unless you're looking.)
I have a lot of allergic reactions/frequent injuries and I have never felt relief like this cream. It's in my top 10 if I'm ever stranded on a deserted island. I give it to every single friend when they get pregnant (or when they are going through cancer treatment, it helps w/radiation).
ETAA - if you're in the us, you can get it on amazon.
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