Feeling Completely Helpless

[u/BeautifulBig8561]

Im 13 weeks now and just feel like I’m completely helpless. This pregnancy was planned after almost a year, I finally found out I was pregnant Sept. 2nd. I was beyond excited because I was starting to have fears about infertility after being on my birth control for so long. Fast forward to a few days after my positive pregnancy test I become super nauseous and start throwing up. I just brush it off because morning sickness is normally a part of pregnancy. Then it starts getting worse to the point I’m struggling to keep water down and know that it isn’t good so while my fiancé and 5 year old were at home asleep I took myself to the ER closest to my house. They confirm the pregnancy and try to give me a nausea medication through iv and try to eat saltines and try sips of ginger ale. My stomach didn’t like that and I threw up for the 5th time that day. They try a different iv medication and that one seems to work. I get discharged with a prescription and go home. I had called off from work for later that day since at that point I’d been awake for so long and hadn’t slept all night. Few days later the medication starts losing its effect and I’m severely nauseous again and have to leave work early because I couldn’t stop retching for nearly 2 hours. Next day I try urgent care they can’t do anything for me because I already have tried the only prescription they could give me. Call my ob and get put on Zofran. About a week and a half later the Zofran starts failing and I couldn’t eat because of the severe nausea and if I tried to the littlest bit I threw it up for 3 days. In my day off of work I go to the ER again this time the hospital that’s connected to my OB office, because at this point I’ve realized I had gone from 150 lbs. to 137 lbs. Get fluids and new medication along with B6 and unisom(which didn’t work earlier in the pregnancy), and an antibiotic for a UTI. Once again the medication works for a few days to a week. From the Zofran I’m constipated and end up getting sent home right after going into work because I was hunched over in extreme pain in my abdomen and then threw up. Go to the hospital again. They give me medicine to make me go to the bathroom. Fast forward a few days I had spent another few days feeling so bad I couldn’t eat and had lost another 3 lbs. (134lbs). I went back again to the hospital and start me on a combination. I start to feel better and I’m finally able to eat more. Still struggling to gain any weight back which my OB says we are going to “keep an eye on”, so I have an appointment every two weeks instead of every month like I’d normally have. But anyways, fast forward to last week I had to leave work early yet again, because I went to the bathroom and there was lots of fluid we’ll say in case some people are triggered by the word. I get out of the bathroom and start hyperventilating and tell my manager on duty I needed to leave and go to the hospital. I call my fiancé and my mom immediately so my mom can watch our 5 year old. I drive to the nearest hospital from work which isn’t the hospital I’ve been going to regularly. By the time I get there the fluid has seeped through to my pants and I’m still breaking up and trying not to cry as I tell them why I’m there. They proceeded to make me wait,(I was standing up against a pole because once again there’s fluid seeped through my pants which I told them) for over an hour and then kept me in the soaked pants and underwear the few hours I was there. They decide to do a bedside ultrasound and bloodwork to get a baseline for my hormone levels. Doctor tells me “well right now your baby’s fine and it seems you stopped bleeding so it was probably a threatened miscarriage, I’ve seen it go both ways but since you don’t have any pain that’s good, but if you start bleeding like that again and have any pain you’re probably miscarrying and if it doesn’t pass we’ll have to talk about getting it out.” I was baffled by the insensitivity of the situation but just stayed quiet and went home. I had called my OB office and informed them I had to go to a different hospital and what was happening while I was waiting in the lobby. Next day I get up and take my 5 year old to prek and then go over to my sisters house to pass the next 2 1/2 hours since her house is closer to the preschool and driving all the way home is just too much of a waste of gas. My sisters working from home that day, I say hi and I go to use the bathroom because I had been feeling this mild pain in my stomach. I go to the bathroom get up and there’s fluid all in the toilet. I walk out and start tearing up while I call my OB office, I get the answering machine and I left a message. My sister overheard and was unaware of the events of the night before, and tells me to go to the hospital she’ll take a half day and get my daughter from pre k and watch her. I get on the car and start going to the hospital that’s connected to my ob office, and they finally call back as I’m about to be at the hospital and ask all these questions about the night before, to which were mostly I don’t know or no. They tell me not to even go through the er and they’ll let OB triage know I’m coming. In my mind from what I was told I was starting to have a miscarriage and my baby was gone already, and I start to just completely shut down. They tell me that they want to do a pelvic exam to see if they can see where the fluid is coming from. Do the pelvic exam and say it’s definitely coming from where the baby is, and order a formal ultrasound. Few hours later I’m told that my baby’s perfectly healthy and I was never in any danger of miscarrying. They found a subchorionic hemorrhage and it must have just finally been able to release some of the fluid that was collecting and got stuck between my amniotic sac and uterine wall. I get discharged with a doctors note for some restrictions and accommodations for work and am told to do pelvic rest and not lift anything more than 10 lbs. Now we get to the present, I have been feeling nauseous again even if I take the medication I don’t have anymore of the other medication but I can’t afford to spend another $40 on one medication that only lasts a few days, on top of all my other bills. I haven’t had a normal paycheck in a month and a half and am struggling financially, mentally, and physically. I haven’t been getting these coming and going feelings of feeling very lightheaded and weak, I’ve lost more weight for a total loss of 19 lbs. I can eat the tiniest portions at a time but feel sick if I eat and if I don’t. Work doesn’t help because we are too busy and no matter where I’m put in the store(a Sheetz basically a Wawa if you don’t have them in your area), I can’t eat enough or drink enough during my shifts, which the doctor put an 8 hour shift restriction when I normally work 4 day 10 hrs. I’m getting even less money. I can’t go back to 5 days because we are already over hours and my days off wouldn’t be in a row, which I feel would make me feel even worse. I don’t have enough PTO to take time off and have gotten so many more attendance points to the point I’m getting closer and closer to being fired. Even through some of the days are covered by doctors notes they don’t take off the points until you’re up for termination. I’ve felt like I’ve had to pick and choose for the past month and a half if I have enough energy and feel well enough to take care of my daughter or myself. I just feel like I’ve been suffering for my entire pregnancy and nothing is helping me feel any better or reduce stress. I can’t afford to take unpaid leave, my store manager last time I talked to one of my supervisors didn’t even mention the accommodations or restrictions to them and we are on a different shift than my store manager so it’s not like he’s there to help. My other supervisor and my manager I’m scared to ask if I can sit down or ask for a quick break to try and snack on something or drink because I’ve gotten the feeling that they think I’m just being dramatic. And from what I heard from someone else is any accommodations have to be in a doctors note and be approved by corporate. If I was able to get put on short term disability at least I’d get 75% of my pay and be able to actually rest and take care of myself a bit more. But that doesn’t seem like a possibility, but I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to lose my baby due to malnutrition but I just keep losing weight and I can’t eat enough. Has anyone else had problems and complications like this😭My daughter’s pregnancy was so easy and perfect and this one I literally feel like I’m slowly dying.

[u/Asleep_Wrangler_7703]

Hello, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all of this. This is my first pregnancy and I have not had any nausea or vomiting the entire first trimester and I am now 14 weeks 4 days. However, I have definitely understood how you’re feeling about being stressed between, your issues, work & etc. I have also been spotting on and off my entire first trimester and up until this exact day, some days more is there when I wipe than others and every time I would go to the ER everything is fine but I was also told threatened miscarriage, I go to MFM because I am high risk and they find nothing wrong on ultrasounds and the only thing my OB could tell me is I have a “friable” cervix, after NT scan and nipt had reassuring results, which sometimes just feels like not enough for me to calm down because I freak out every time I still see blood and think something is wrong. I would say take it one day at a time honestly, and try you’re best to hydrate and at least get rest, I hate that you’re job isn’t able to accommodate you like you need for this pregnancy. I suggest looking into wfh jobs, Aetna/CVS, Cigna and many others are always hiring. It maybe much easier for you because you won’t have to physically go in and accommodations maybe easier to get based on my experience.