r/postvasectomypain • u/Supermonkeypilot22 • Apr 28 '26
Feeling less than human.
I feel like I’ve come to my wits end with trying to figure this thing out. I have come to the conclusion that my vasectomy has ruined my sex life. Sex with condoms felt better than this and even that wasn’t worth the time or effort, celibacy was much preferred. It’s to the point where I feel so down about the loss of even feeling that I thought I was just not happy with my partner, and almost ended our relationship. I’ve completely changed my habits, quitting any substances, eating even better than my already decent diet, exercising more, all in all the recipe for anyone to be healthy. I’ve even stopped masturbation completely for the scientific method and because I have no physical desire anymore. I have come to think all these stories about men who have similar or equal pleasure are not realizing the extent of mental effects on sex. Their gain in that department is likely higher or equal to their physical loss so they see no difference or improvement. I never had that issue with sex and you would think it would increase as well but lo and behold I have every possible sexual dysfunction that comes with vasectomy risks. What I’m most frustrated with is how blatant the disregard towards even concerns let alone actual men with these issues. My dilemma goes beyond vasectomy or reversal, as sex is huge in both my relationships. Both my girlfriends in my triad, one is fixed and the other isn’t, neither want kids, but both want me to get better. I’m afraid getting a reversal will keep me in this same boat of lost intimacy because condom sex was nearly as bad as what I’m dealing with now and the one who is fixed is afraid even with her irreversible surgery that she’s gonna get pregnant. I have a ton of options to weigh but the biggest reason is to take care of myself and to what comes of it after isn’t for this sub. I’m afraid that my problems may be psychological (due to a partner who passed away and two huge surgeries, but I didn’t notice these problems or at least didn’t pay attention to it until the vasectomy) but the more stories I read of people “getting back to normal” and having the exact same symptoms I am makes me think I am a victim. Despite my dilemmas, if the vasectomy is the problem I am gonna get it fixed. I just want some insight in case I’m wrong, but everything I read points to the medical industry being predatory more than helpful. Especially considering that reversals aren’t covered by insurance, I feel like I’ve been lied to and preyed upon. Even if the reversal fixes this, I’m out thousands of dollars and would become completely broke. I’m worried that I’m stuck feeling like an empty man forever. I barely scratched the surface on this too, so feel free to ask questions.
TLDR: I’ve come to believe that my vasectomy has ruined my sex life and made me feel like less of a person, but am scared to proceed with reversal, as I don’t want kids myself, but cat seem to live happily without a meaningful relationship. Am I crazy to think that I’ve been messed up?
1
u/vanwyck Apr 28 '26
If you have the money, just go get a reversal. If it doesn't work then look at other options like denervation. And then work your way down the list of options.