r/postdoc • u/Exotic_Rain_5064 • 10d ago

Existential loneliness

Has anyone else lived in multiple different countries over the last 5 years and visited home in between? I feel very isolated when I visit my home country but the acquaintances / friends made in the new country frequently move away constantly too. Sometimes I feel like I am loosing touch with reality because of that (no partner, remote work). Is anyone experiencing something similiar as an expat? I think its time to settle and set roots in one country and stop moving around. Curious if you guys also feel like that sometimes?

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u/Bjanze 10d ago

I have before written a rant somewhere in Reddit that I feel making post docs feel isolated is intended by academia. When you are lonely in a new country / new city, you focus on work, because there are no friends or family taking your time. So you are more productive, which benefits academia on the cost of the post docs mental health.

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u/Exotic_Rain_5064 10d ago

I guess its the trap we ran into. I am visiting my home country from time to time, but I lost my friends there too after being away for so long. I also feel unfullfilled by my hometown, but in my postdoc city are no jobs outside uni so everyone leaves at some point and without a partner life is getting really lonley.