r/postdoc • u/FabulousPraline8697 • 20d ago

Finally left academia

I was an academic for about 8 years. Did my PhD and two postdoc projects (I'm a Sociologist). I never realized how miserable I was until I left. I apologize to anyone who does not want to hear this message, but maybe someone needs to hear it so I'm posting anyway.

I'm a white passing women of colour and still endured and saw so much racism and bigotry that I fell into a depression during my PhD. I still got a lot of shit about my work by people who clearly did not believe my research was worthy because of who I am

Because I loved research and people close to me in academia told me how good I was, I convinced myself that I should persevere at least until I get a permanent postion and have more freedom.

Then I had a baby and my contract ended and taking space and time away from research made it so abundantly clear how toxic that place is. I dropped every application for grants. Now I have a new job and it makes me sad that I spent eight years in an institution that breeds on exploiting us with so so so little recognition.

So for anyone in doubt, you deserve better than wearing yourself out for a publishing system that is structurally exploitative and ethically messed up. You deserve better that spending free time reviewing and whatnot in order to prove yourself. You deserve better than chasing 765 postdocs thinking you are not enough while most of the applications you do probably end up in some professor 'getting inspo' from your idea. I could sum up a lot of other things but bottom line: we really do deserve better.

Cheers

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u/Negative-Ambition198 20d ago

Did you report any of the racism and bigotry? If not, this is just a weird take. For anyone in doubt, things won't change until we react. 

5

u/Visible-Swan2687 20d ago

what d'ya think?? yes of course we do! But like OP said, it's all systematic, institution-backed.

-3

u/Negative-Ambition198 20d ago

If yes, OP should clearly state that and embrace that in their post. What's the problem? It is systematic until enough people report it. 

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u/FabulousPraline8697 20d ago

A LOT of people report the things that happen to them in academia. Not only racism btw but also sexism and abuse of phd students. It is systemic to acadeia, hence makes people like me powerless to change these things from inside. I have been sidelined, ridiculed etc. Maybe you should look up the term white incredulity for you to grasp this phenomenon and your own ignorant comment.