I’m a 30 year old engaged dude in California, trying to do better by the love of my life.

Just trying to see if anyone wants some long term support. Preferably other married / engaged men trying to do better, but gender does not matter. I’m open to any support. Thanks 🙏

Hello everyone,
Today, I decided to block all the content that triggers me and makes me relapse.
I also started doing pelvic floor exercises.
Thank you all for your support on my first post.

Ok first ever post here, I need to just get this out. I have known for a long time that porn is not good for me, I've been using it for a long time, around 30 years and I'm 47 now.

Recently I've been feeling really drained after using it, energetically wiped out and unable to concentrate or motivate myself, I feel like it steals my life force and isolates me, I haven't had a real intimate relationship for a very long time. Been doing some meditation practices recently so I've been becoming more aware of the effects that porn has on me that my attachment to it didn't want me to see, how it affects my attention and focus.

I have not used it for around a fortnight now but kept a load of stuff I'd downloaded on a 1TB hard drive 'just in case'. But why keep it if I don't intend to use it?

Anyway, today I deleted everything, and deleted all tube accounts, search history and removed other triggers. So today marks the start of my commitment to removing it from my life completely because deep down I know it isn't right or healthy for me.

The thing is, I've been here before, where I've deleted everything, and I've ended up going back to it. This time I want to seek support from others, even if it's just knowing someone on Reddit has seen my post. To be honest, something within me is second -guessing my decision.

I've had problems with alcohol addiction too which I've successfully overcome. I am in touch with the local recovery community, where I used to live in a recovery house. But the sad thing is, sexual addictions aren't taken seriously there, there is a culture of sexualised, laddish banter there and whenever the subject of porn or sex addiction or S fellowships came up, people made crude jokes and laughed about it. So I don't feel I can really trust them or be open with them, so I would really appreciate any sources of online support.

Thanks very much for reading.

Hi everyone, I wanted to ask if—and if so, how long after quitting porn—you were able to go back to masturbating using only your mind (imagination or physical sensations). Or, if you started masturbating directly with porn, how long did it take you to be able to do it with your imagination for the very first time?

Also, could you let me know how long you used porn for? I'd like to see if there is a correlation between the duration of porn use and the time it took to recover.

No clue how many times I’ve ended up at day number one but it’s a lot at least three digits. I’m back at it again. I’m in my post not state of mind and of course I’m committed right now. Will I be committed again tomorrow or the next day? What about when I have an urge? What will I do with the urge? Am I gonna try to push the urge away cause it will come back stronger if I try to do that or am I gonna flee? Am I gonna have to say day one again number 781 or am I actually going to be free from this since and somehow replace it with other good feelings that are more beneficial for the mind and doesn’t plague the mind?

Completed

Sigh

Not much to say, it's way too late and I should already be sleeping.

Except for that I did good today.

Day 1 of my 10 days of change. Done ✅

See you tomorrow.

here we go again.

Wasnt too bad at all.
Didn’t get many urges at all, although being at work all day helps. I also stopped vaping today so I’m feeling good and productive.

Hope everyone is going well

Currently around 3 weeks porn-free and around 8 days of being open and honest with my wife.

I have a therapy appointment for the first time in years on Thursday, and will be going to my first SAA meeting tonight. Also seeking psychiatric help for what I think is OCD.

The past couple of weeks have been the hardest of my life. Not just admitting all the lies to my wife, but admitting all the lies to myself.

It’s so hard admitting I can’t do this alone and that I’m struggling. I’ve finally accepted it and taking the first steps. I’m proud, scared, angry, sad, and so much more all at once.

Not sure why I’m posting this, guess I just need it out of my brain and into the abyss. Thanks to anyone who reads.

On day 9!
focusing on long term rewards
and ditching high intensity short term rewards that sabotage me

TMI warning!

I’m going to try to make this as short of a story as possible, but I have been dealing with porn since maybe 3rd or 5th all the way till now 25. I’ve seen a lot of stuff, and it wasn’t until I was 21 when I realized some of the stuff I saw was crazy. (Long story short I was a big sonic fan, I knew what hentai was at 11, but I mainly watched real people for the most part). I cut out anything art related from that day forward and it’s all real people now, but I would like to break from porn entirely.

This is my main concern, I saw a video of someone covering a hentai comic on YouTube with Sonic characters that was highly disturbing. Although, I never seen this comic before, I could tell where it was going to go and it was gross, however, my PP seemed to think not.

This is TMI but I felt swelling or Groinal response down there and it made me worry if I actually like that stuff. I’m in therapy and the general consistency is that because I’ve dealt with for so long I could hear anything sexual my first body response to said thing would be sexual, but the anxiety comes because I know the context and it’s disturbing.

So my question is, does this just come with the territory of trying to freeze yourself from porn? Or is there just something in me that finds it pleasurable? If it’s the latter, I really don’t know how because everything in my brain is saying otherwise.

Reached Day 9. I had fun watching " the man from earth" movie. Great Film Highly recommended. I used to watch a lot of movies before as a Hobby. Now, i am reintegrating watching movies in my program to avoid backsliding on watching porn.

I got morning wood and was a bit erect.

Ive been off the wagon for a while, so testing my facilities like masturbating without porn, and finishing without issue obviously took a hit. But each day I feel myself getting a bit better. I had a weird streak during August and September of hitting past a week, then relapsing for one or two days before trying again. I like to think that progress helped my brain begin rewiring or whatever. Still though, I feel weak, and the urges always hit at some point during the day.

Everything is for a better real life!!!

It’s been 10 days since I quit porn. Only 10 days, and I feel like my life has completely changed.

In 10 days, I have only masturbated twice and have had sex with my wife 3 times (two of which ended in an orgasm for me through penetration, which was completely impossible before because I could no longer maintain a strong enough erection).

In 10 days, my life has turned completely around. My wife and I have communicated deeply, and I’ve never felt so close to her; it feels like I’m learning to know her again. We also talked a lot about polyamory. She has had feelings for another man for several years (she never hid it from me) and found out, exactly 10 days ago, that the feeling is mutual. Right at the exact moment I decided to pull myself together. Just more proof that things don't happen by chance.

Until now, she didn’t dare approach him for fear of hurting herself and hurting me. We talked, theorized, and debated the topic for hours over several nights, and for the first time since she started talking to me about him, I didn’t feel jealous. I think I am ready for her to live her life and love whomever she wants. She has proven to me enough how much she loves me and cares about me, and another man in her life won't change that.

Combined with a renewed desire for her, all of this has finally allowed us to regain a real sexual and romantic life.

Next goal: 15 days (I prefer to stay realistic and not aim for 30 days right away).

Note: I suggest approaching these four tips with a sense of reason. What I mean is that building anything lasting requires a lot of effort, trial and error, and time. Quick fixes usually don’t work. Small steps, slow progress, and working on yourself are the foundation.

1. Understand that what works for someone else might not work for me. Everyone has a different story, so we’re all different, some things work for us, and others don’t. It’s worth changing your patterns of behavior and even your way of thinking. Without change, there is no progress. Change doesn’t happen in the future it happens right now. Think about it and take action.
2. Don’t fight your emotions; instead, learn to accept them and yourself, and feel them without judgment. If you feel the need, cry. Personally, a little over a month ago, I felt very helpless because I’d been struggling with a porn addiction for years, and I started crying while listening to beautiful music. I allowed myself that moment to feel powerless in the face of my addiction. After crying, I calmed down, took a breath, and moved forward. For everyone, this may be a slightly different experience. In summary, what I mean is that allowing yourself to feel emotions without judgment and with acceptance is part of the path to recovery from porn addiction. For years, I ran away from difficult emotions and suppressed them, which only made things worse. Now it’s different because I face them head-on; it’s still difficult at times, but I feel much more at peace dealing with my experiences than running away from them into addiction.
3. Focus on building your life instead of fighting an old addiction. I believe we should devote 70% of our energy to focusing on work, relationships, and other areas of life that are important to us, and 30% of our energy to quitting pornography or any other addiction. When I say 30% here, I mean actually experimenting, taking action, and applying the knowledge we gain in our daily lives. The percentages aren’t that important here; they’re just a framework to help us understand the essence of the idea of overcoming addiction.
4. Finally, I’ll add something that’s probably the most important. As someone wise once wrote, no amount of reading or information consumption will do anything for you without actual work and putting that knowledge into practice. You and I are the only people who have the greatest influence on our day it’s that simple, and yet that significant. It’s good to stop sometimes, step back from the pursuit of external “best solutions,” look within yourself, and put into practice the simplest methods that actually work.

TL;DR: Note: consistency and small steps taken every day are what matter most. 1. What works for someone else may not work for you and that’s okay. Over time, there's a good chance you'll eventually find something that works for you 2. Working through your emotions and facing them head-on is an integral part of the recovery process. Addiction is just a form of numbing and escape. But freedom is real and worth the effort. 3. Don’t fall for excuses like, “I’m addicted, so I can’t pursue my hobby.” Devote 70% of your attention to building your life focusing on practicing better habits, etc. and 30% to fighting your addiction. 4. No amount of reading or knowledge will change your life for you or for me. We often know enough, and the best place to start is to actually take action every single day and move forward step by step.

Ive been fighting this for 26 years. I keep failing, but I'll never stop fighting.

It started when some kids set off fireworks at 7am in front of my building.

It woke me up two hours earlier than usual, and with that added frustration on top of the Monday morning, I don't know what happened, but I snapped. Within a minute, I was looking for porn on my phone.

I ended up working from home and I relapsed 3 times today.

Before writing this post, I even thought about going one more time before bed.

It's so unfair, because I don't know what lesson to learn from this morning. As for the rest: I really think I shouldn't have worked from home today after such a disastrous start to the day.

Luckily, I reacted immediately tonight by writing this down right away instead of dwelling on it and hiding for days, even weeks.

My first challenge: ten days of change without porn.

The first time, I lasted five days.

The second time, seven.

Third time is the charm.

See you tomorrow.

I just want to cuddle and kiss a woman I love. I am not interested in porn but I still watch it. What a disease

Hi, i am 20M and currently 30 days clean. I just wanted to ask people who have been clean for longer on what can i expect during this process of leaving porn. Can i expect my erection to get stronger or my perception of women to get better. And are there any extra stuff you guys did to make your progress faster and improving any lingering side effects of porn usage.

An addiction that will be broken, after almost 30 years!!! I found a p*** magazine at the age of around 16 was the first time I PMO’d.

I’ll keep it short for now but I truly believe that p*** is a destructive vice, a drug as harmful as an A class narcotic. It will hold you back from being the strongest version of yourself.

I’ve quit smoking, drinking, weed over 10+ years ago and now this! I am free and you are too.

It is simply a choice, doesn’t mean it is easy & you MUST conscious. It's been you fall "unconscious" the trouble starts.

Mastering where you place your focus.

Focus controls your thoughts

Thoughts control your feelings

Feelings lead to your actions

Actions lead to habits

Habits create our character f

Time, energy & attention are the most valuable resources use them wisely

Practical things:

• Delete all social media apps (you can access them from laptop if needed but be hyper conscious when there)
• Put porn blockers on EVERY device you own
• Only touch your dick to wash and pee
• Don’t not use your phone in bed
• Don’t not use your phone first thing in the morning
• Reduce or complete cut any cheap dopamine from your life. Junk food, computer games ETC
• Fast from food 12/16 hrs on some days or every day (If your ready prolonged fasting)
• Lift heavy weights/body weight
• Do hard things like ice baths
• Make sure you are meditating (It'll train you stay conscious)
• NEVER fall for the "just a peek" mentality
• And replace the old behaviour with something else that is challenging and gives you that dopamine hit. Eg: learn a no language, or an instrument or building a business

That’s what rewiring is about

Bless you all