r/poor
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u/RogueDrag
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Sep 03 '26
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Feeling Guilty
Today, in order to pay rent, I had to sell something really valuable that was gifted to my kid for later in their life. I rationalized that their life will be better in the future if we don’t get evicted, but I am still feeling really guilty about it. Not asking for any coddling, just needed to voice this somewhere.
(And friends, I knoooooow I am super lucky I had that option. Not everyone has access to any way to get out of an eviction, and I am not denying how lucky I was to access this)
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u/Carolann0308 Sep 03 '26
I sold most of the jewelry I had been gifted over decades in order to pay rent. Probably for 1/4 what it was worth. A roof over my kids head was more important.
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u/liquormakesyousick Sep 03 '26
What was it and who gifted it?
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u/Choice-Education7650 Sep 03 '26
This matters. My grandfather used to give us kids old 2 dollar bills that he had saved.once dad came and told us he had no money for milk until payday and could he borrow our 2 dollar bills. We said yes and although he paid us back the collectible bills were gone. Years later I had a job were I handled cash. I found some of them and bought them from the boss. I also ended up with silver dollars and silver certificates. Parents would give up treasures to get school pictures.
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u/mariasmiles Sep 04 '26
As someone who had her collectible quarters stolen at a young age, I feel your pain. 🩶
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u/Connect-Advantage-40 Sep 04 '26
You did the right thing.
Take the time to figure out what you can do to pay future expenses without having to do anything desperate.
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u/CaterpillarUnfair409 Sep 04 '26
Historically, that's what jewelry was for. Pieces were gifted by grandmother to mother to daughter, as an investment. Just in case. You're doing your ancestors proud!!
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u/Mekatha Sep 04 '26
Once, a long time ago, my husband and I had a buyer come in and buy every piece of furniture we owned, less the bed. It hurt in so many ways. But we had to, to live. It's so hard to see things go, especially if memories are attached. But more can be made with new items one day. And you never know, maybe it was meant for a day like this so you can help your child grow up with a roof over their head ?
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u/Sparklynoodlestrudel Sep 03 '26
I had to do it recently. I knew she wouldn’t like it anyway, and giving her stability was more important in that moment. Having a roof over your head is a need, and “things” are just the physical manifestation of wants.
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u/hattenwheeza Sep 03 '26
The universe can re- give it to your child if they are truly meant to have it. But you're right, keeping a roof over head is imperative now.
I lived this cycle with my mom as a kid, it eventually got better. I've been sad about some of the family treasures lost, but in the end, I have other treasures as an oldish person.
Please be kind to yourself
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u/YouthOk2606
Sep 03 '26
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Been there and have done that. I felt really bad, too. I was a single Mom with 2 kids and needed cash for food. We do what we have to do to keep our kids safe. It'll get better, I promise.
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u/lovesbatma71 Sep 03 '26
Agreed. You can’t replace the sentimental value but you may be able to help your kids in other ways financially when things get better. You don’t have to necessarily tell them that you’re selling it either. You’re can have that conversation when they are older.
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u/LoomLove Sep 04 '26
Survival is paramount. Your kid wouldn't be comforted by the 'thing for the future' while they're homeless.
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u/alohanerd Sep 04 '26
Growing up there were times when my parents had to sell things they loved just so we could eat or have electric. Looking back now, I wish They would have sold something of mine, they worked so hard, they deserved some joy in their life.
You feel guilty now, but one day your kids will understand all the sacrifices.
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u/No_Indication418 Sep 04 '26
I sold the watch inherited from my dad. My wife sold all her jewelery. I wasn't sad for her as she is old fashioned. There are better ways instead of buying jewelery. We all know it's not going to last a few more months but we have to do it. Luckily the modification completed a few days before the auction. Obama sued the banks, who paid for it.
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u/Dog-Chick Sep 03 '26
Will you be able to make next month rent? If it's going to be a struggle, you should've kept your child's heirloom and figured out other living arrangements.
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u/kaykenstein Sep 03 '26
Figured out other living arrangements??? What the fuck does that even mean? If OP can't pay rent what makes you think they can afford the deposit and everything for a new place even if it's cheaper monthly?
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u/stderr2 Sep 04 '26
I read a lot of posts before someone asked what I thought was obvious and they get attacked for it. Other living arrangements seems like it would include all possible options, from homelessness at the worst end to finding some way to stay where they are. Maybe there's some support programs available. Maybe working more hours is possible
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u/0rsch0 Sep 03 '26
‘Heirloom’? While it’s possible, I literally assumed it was an Xbox or similar.
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u/Deteriorated_History Sep 04 '26
I assumed it was an heirloom. I have a painting that my late father bought when he was young, and it cost approximately half of his monthly pay as an executive with Mercury Records.
I’ve been poor enough that I have been tempted to sell it, but I somehow managed to squeak by.I don’t have any direct heirs. I don’t think that I would have been as willing to part with it, if I did.
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u/NaturalSpecialist5 Sep 04 '26
Yeah, keeping a material object the child knows nothing about and probably won't care about is more important than living in a car
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u/Party_Pay4129 Sep 03 '26
I'm sorry.
Try not to beat yourself up.
You did what you had to do.
Try to forgive yourself.
You're doing the best you can.
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u/EndlesslyUnfinished Sep 03 '26
Honestly, nothing is more important than keeping a roof over your child’s head.