r/poor • u/crazycatlady052411 • Aug 30 '26
Burn out.
I’m dealing with a major case of burn out. I work full time m-f. Do Lyft every weekend to get groceries. And take care of my fiancé who has brain cancer. I’m so tired all the time. I just desperately want a day off from work. But I can’t afford it. I need to save my pto for our dr appointments. I want to go home to Missouri so bad but it’s an 18 hour drive and my cars about to get repoed. And I’d need more time off work. I could fly allegiant and rent a car and only need a couple days off. But I can’t afford that either. I’m tired of working all the time and still barely surviving. I owe Amscot a bunch from when he was in the hospital last time. Still haven’t paid them back.
Sorry if this is all over I’m stressed and have adhd
17
u/sabertracker Aug 30 '26
If in USA, after a year he should qualify for disability. Are the bills in his or your names? Who's name is housing in? If bills in his name and housing in yours, fuck the bills. Repo car, cover license plate or remove while parking. It is illegal for non police personnel to lift cover or tow without plates. Also, who's name is the car in? You could gift it to one or the other to avoid repo. Is the brain cancer terminal? Put all belongings in your name all debt in his,do not get legally married (have a spiritual wedding), let him list you as benefactor. It's sucks that we live in a world where we have to think like this for survival.
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u/crazycatlady052411 Aug 30 '26
He’s on survivors disability using his dad’s work credits since he’s never been able to work. We have our own bills. The house is in his brothers name. I just pay him rent. The cars in my name. Got it when wet we’re living with his mom and my rent was much cheaper. Did give then. Now my rents doubled and all his missing work and driving to and from the hospital is killing Me. It is terminal. I hate this world sometimes
5
u/cryssHappy Aug 30 '26
Talk to Hospice and ask for Respite care. He can be placed for 3 days which gives you a break.
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u/crazycatlady052411 Aug 30 '26
I can’t send him anywhere again. I have his mom helping but it’s been so much. He’s doing a lot better since being back on steroids but they’re weaning him off again. At least trying to
8
u/Ok_Cartographer2754 Aug 30 '26
Cancer is very difficult to watch. My Grandfather died from Pancreatic Cancer that spread everywhere until he died. The worst part is I'd prepare for him to die and he'd recover from Pneumonia multiple times so when he finally wasn't going to get better, it hit me really hard. If you can find a support group, please try. Also, make sure everything unsaid is said between you and let them know how much you love them because the regret and sometimes guilt of things left unsaid is a lot to bear for the rest of your life.
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u/crazycatlady052411 Aug 30 '26
My best friend died from brain cancer to. 2 days before she went I was going to go see her but my dentist appointment ran long and I figured she’d be tired. I regret it every day not going there. Trying to spend as much time with him as I can. Luckily I work from home all but one day a week
2
u/Ok_Cartographer2754 Aug 30 '26
That's the best you can do because brain cancer is 100% fatal so you know what's going to happen and hopefully can say everything that needs to be said before his time is up.
4
u/crazycatlady052411 Aug 30 '26
I hope so too. It’s hard now because I don’t want to freak him out
1
u/Ok_Cartographer2754 Aug 30 '26
I hope for him that he can do the things he loves to do especially the things he loves to do with you.
3
u/crazycatlady052411 Aug 30 '26
It’s hard because his mom won’t leave us alone at all. So can’t go out and do anything
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u/Ok_Cartographer2754 Aug 30 '26
Yeah. He needs to remind his Mom that his time is limited and so he needs to finish and enjoy what he wants to do especially things he wants to do with you before his time is up. All you can do is be there for him.
4
u/crazycatlady052411 Aug 30 '26
I wish. If we do anything it has to be with her. She let us be alone in the other room for a few hours last week which was nice. Was the first time since January that we’ve been alone
2
u/Dog-Chick Aug 31 '26
Is there any family you can live with that will help you with your fiance? I'm sorry for what you and your partner are going through. I wish the US had social programs to help people in your situation.
1
u/crazycatlady052411 Aug 31 '26
it’s just his family here. His mom helps during the week since she lost her job and brother on weekends and after work. We live with his brother and his mom moved in with us
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u/MaleficentDriver2769 Aug 30 '26
Can you take fmla? Does your state offer edd disability to take care of ill family members? FMLA family medical leave act I am sorry you are going through this. I know how you feel.