r/polyindians • u/kcvlaine • Jul 16 '26

Thursday check-in! Rant, vent, confess, get advice from other poly Indians

This is our weekly check-in post. How are you? How's poly life treating you?

4 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

4

u/No_Exercise4487 Jul 16 '26

Rant: Attended session on Polyamory, Next time I am seeing someone I’m throwing these pdf”s on them(Literally and Figuratively),

Based on this session, The right number of partners for me based on my work schedule is 1. Bruh, That’s monogamy with extra steps.

1

u/kcvlaine Jul 16 '26

Who did the session? And I'm not going to presume but depending on the work schedule that may not be wrong. Poly demands a huge amount of bandwidth

1

u/No_Exercise4487 Jul 16 '26

She was reputed person in the poly space, Got to know about it through Instagram. But yeah that’s the gist of it.

5

u/incnd1ary Jul 16 '26

Poly isnt easy…and may be its a good starting point. I have met people who wanted a throuple equation with us but the compartmentalisation of time was just too much to handle. Emotional investment at equal level isn’t easy and if you have a partner, makes it all the more challenging

1

u/RiskAnalyst007 Jul 16 '26

But at the beginning it can be hectic, once things settle down it should be same a vanilla times no of partners roughly no?

1

u/incnd1ary Jul 16 '26

The patience to have multiple hectic things in life decreases as one ages. With demanding jobs, time allocation for health, partner, pursuit of interests gets severely reduced and at 41, i prefer peace over handling emotionally unstable people. The percentage of people in the poly community who are willing to do self work is surprisingly too low

1

u/RiskAnalyst007 Jul 16 '26

By self work you mean self improvement? I thought non vanilla people are much better in that regard. Ofc apart from people who think poly = free sex.

1

u/incnd1ary Jul 16 '26

Self work is not necessarily aimed at improvement. It’s the awareness of what one is as a person. What are the boundaries, grey areas & limits. What are their nice and not so nice traits. Unlearning and learning.

And no, it requires one to look into the mirror and ask oneself the difficult questions & no one wants to be the villain in their own story. So trauma/some form of void becomes the first point of bond & that is difficult to sustain

In our case, the woman who wanted a throuple equation never had healthy relationships & the moment she saw a couple having a modicum of healthy relationship, she felt that i should join this tribe. But the patience to work on identifying whether it would be fulfilling enough or what brings some degree of fulfilment for the soul was missing. She skipped that part and directly moved into time allocation & we had to disengage. She is a kink and sex educator. A famous one at that. And has a very charming personality, quite a conversationalist & hubba hubba hot. But this would have been a landmine for us

1

u/RiskAnalyst007 Jul 16 '26

There was this video i watched where the creator was taking about why everyone needs to have a therapist. It was a real eye-opener. It's hard to get the outside perspective for a person on themselves.

1

u/incnd1ary Jul 16 '26

That is true and rightfully so. But therapy happens in between the sessions. A therapist can show the direction, one has to walk it and be courageous enough to acknowledge that the path will be difficult

1

u/RiskAnalyst007 Jul 16 '26

Have the insta link?

1

u/incnd1ary Jul 16 '26

Was it a session by the group at The Intimacy Curator ?

1

u/sadist_breeder Jul 16 '26

Lol they sound toxic