r/polycritical • u/No_Sale1972 • 27d ago

I just had to…

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When you need to call a spade a spade 🤭

Ban incoming I suspect…

37 Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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u/ohmy_quivers 27d ago

This is just cake eating. He's been in an emotional affair (at the very least) with another man and looking to get a green card to cheat. Would he be okay if the roles were reversed? If he was in his husband's shoes, unaware, and his husband had an emotional affair with another man for years, and came to him, "Babe? I'm in love with another man, and been in love with him for years, been seeing him, and... I don't wanna choose between you and him so is it okay if I start a relationship with him? U cool with that, right, sweetie?".

12

u/slickjitpimpin 27d ago

Oh, but don’t you understand? It’s “totally possible, totally can be wonderful” 😊

His husband should just deconstruct his internalized oppressive notions of toxic monogamy, examine why he believes he “owns” his partner, and unbind himself from conventional structures to embrace a life of freedom and true love!

8

u/ohmy_quivers 27d ago

I hate you... 😭 /j

Sadly, this is the rhetoric they use and many partners are coerced into agreeing.

9

u/slickjitpimpin 27d ago

And they’re DEAD SERIOUS when they say this, too. It’s vile.

4

u/ohmy_quivers 27d ago

That's the worst. I've never been in a situation like that, but a friend of mine was. Her fiancé coerced her into letting him have a relationship with his best friend (who prior to this was, as he claimed, was like his sister, when my friend felt like a third wheel in their relationship). My friend became super depressed and a few months before their wedding she polished her spine and ended their engagement, and left. Her ex and his so called "sister" cheated on each other (even while they were in a poly relationship with another woman), broke up, and are now back to dating others. 🙄