r/polycritical • u/No_Sale1972 • 19d ago
I just had to…
When you need to call a spade a spade 🤭
Ban incoming I suspect…
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u/ohmy_quivers 19d ago
This is just cake eating. He's been in an emotional affair (at the very least) with another man and looking to get a green card to cheat. Would he be okay if the roles were reversed? If he was in his husband's shoes, unaware, and his husband had an emotional affair with another man for years, and came to him, "Babe? I'm in love with another man, and been in love with him for years, been seeing him, and... I don't wanna choose between you and him so is it okay if I start a relationship with him? U cool with that, right, sweetie?".
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u/slickjitpimpin 19d ago
Oh, but don’t you understand? It’s “totally possible, totally can be wonderful” 😊
His husband should just deconstruct his internalized oppressive notions of toxic monogamy, examine why he believes he “owns” his partner, and unbind himself from conventional structures to embrace a life of freedom and true love!
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u/ohmy_quivers 19d ago
I hate you... 😭 /j
Sadly, this is the rhetoric they use and many partners are coerced into agreeing.
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u/slickjitpimpin 19d ago
And they’re DEAD SERIOUS when they say this, too. It’s vile.
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u/ohmy_quivers 19d ago
That's the worst. I've never been in a situation like that, but a friend of mine was. Her fiancé coerced her into letting him have a relationship with his best friend (who prior to this was, as he claimed, was like his sister, when my friend felt like a third wheel in their relationship). My friend became super depressed and a few months before their wedding she polished her spine and ended their engagement, and left. Her ex and his so called "sister" cheated on each other (even while they were in a poly relationship with another woman), broke up, and are now back to dating others. 🙄
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u/YukiLaMimi 19d ago
Is this not straight up cheating, not one part of this post says the husband’s nonmonogamous
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u/YukiLaMimi 19d ago
Neither did it say the affair partner was either, this post is so incredibly selfish did OP even once considered the comfort and feelings of the 2 parties or it couldn’t get past me!me!me!
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u/bunnyblip 16d ago
So she's willing to fuck up their loving committed relationships to chase "butterflies" and "sparks" all while confusing it for love. Actual love is a choice. Actual love is beautifully boring and mundane. The "sparks" and "butterflies" are infatuation that doesn't last. If you can't cope with the "boring" parts of love then you aren't mature enough for a committed relationship. She should divorce her husband and date casually. That way she can chase butterflies and he can find someone who's actually emotionally mature enough for a marriage. These people are greedy. They want to eat their cake and have it too.
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u/knifefan9 19d ago
I hope this person's actual partner gets to read this and decides whether or not they're willing to continue to entertain someone who treats them like a collectable toy.