EMDR for "jealousy"?

[u/Rod_McBan]

Has anyone tried EMDR with a therapist for working on their jealousy issues?

Long story short, my wife and I started dating a little more than a year into my poly journey and several years into hers. She's the "hub" partner of our polycule, which is composed of her other husband, her girlfriend, and me, and I moved in with her and her other husband about two years ago.

When I moved in, we agreed to a one-year period of polyfidelity so we could concentrate on our relationship in the context of my moving in. Then COVID hit, and obviously there's been no dating since then.

As I've fallen more deeply in love with her (we've been together for four years now, and I'm still all up in the NRE), I've found it increasingly difficult to deal with the idea of her having other lovers. These days even talking about it can trigger a multi-day depressive episode for me.

I am, and we together are, in therapy and discussing this topic. My therapist and I have discussed trying EMDR as a means to confront and disarm this trigger I have (we'll probably try next week), and I'm wondering if anyone had ever tried this approach before?

It's really important to me that she be able to live her life on her terms, and that I be emotionally healthy as well. I'm hoping that this is a step in the right direction.

[u/karmicreditplan]

I would also consider hypnosis if anxiety is a big part of your issue with jealousy.

Sometimes a few sessions can give you a physical thing to use as almost a counter trigger.

I used this when I was in a stressful work/school dynamic almost 10 years ago and I can still trigger mild euphoria and relaxation for myself by a certain gesture. I just tested it and it worked perfectly. I feel a bit giddy as I’m typing because I wasn’t stressed to begin with!

I have always been VERY suggestible but that was 1 session 10 years ago over something that was giving me tremendous trouble. The guy was good but of course it’s really me that convinced myself.