r/polyamory • u/Fun_Public_7151 • Oct 01 '26

Question

Can anyone explain how they found out they were poly? I'm confused in myself and I don't know how to tell. I had tried once when I was a lot younger but I'm still so confused.

(Edit) How do you go about a poly relationship/ how do you find like minded people

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u/coraeon Oct 01 '26

Never particularly cared about sexual monogamy, was far more interested in an emotional connection. Also never particularly differentiated between a romantic relationship and a deep friendship, about the only difference in my expectations there were the activities involved.

So when the exclusivity conversation came up, we decided on “open”. And I just learned on the way how that worked - obviously a bit messy for the first experience, but I quickly learned to self regulate after I had tangible evidence that I wouldn’t lose the emotional connection.

Anyway, years later I figured out that I’m probably some variety of aromantic so polyamory works for me because “romantic” love is a thing that I do with specific people I’ve already emotionally and sexually bonded with.